its way overdue...
since i pratically have no life but sleeping, eating, bathing, and working i guess i can make time for lj..since im in a really hard spot in my life right now, i could use some encouragement...
well im still working, and im still with derek, but i dont live @ home anymore..i moved in with andre, well most of my stuff is here, me, my necessities and my dog, so i guess thats all i need..oh yea, and my car...my mom and i have been fighting ever since i got my tatoo, like almost 2 months ago, and they get really violent, like i wanna hit her..but trust me i never would hit my mom, she just pushes my buttons in the wrong way and i hate it..and her @ the moment..granted i know my nanny is really sick and we are all supposed to make sacrifices for her and do everything for her, but when it comes to ppl treating me like shit im not gonna take it anymore...me and my nanny got in a huge fight last week bc i usually clean my grannys house and give her a pedicure for $165 a week from the company, and do a few things for the company, but she got the biggest attitude with me bc i only had one day off, today and i was on call all day, bc @ work, where i make a TON more money and get treated much better, its stressfull, and she came @ me with "well when you have a day off, you seem to have plans" i guess i fucking do, im 21 years old and cant do anything..everything is just falling apart, my mom and i fight about anything and everything, my dad stays out of it, and my granny puts me on a guild trip about it.."she could drop dead tomorrow, and then yall would be on bad terms" yeah that scares me but im tired of getting treated like i do, i should take care of myself..not anyone else first, and they dont understand that, so when my mom and i got into it today i grabbed whatever i could in one trip to my car and got the hell out..she said "i guess your moving out" i just kept on going..she is really bipolar lately, i dunno if its serious or if its just that she doesnt know how to deal with her sister dying, but i dont need to be called a slut and a whore behind my back bc i got a tatoo, i didnt think that constituted me as a slut, but hey im probably wrong..who knows..like i really dont know whats going on anymore, derek and i were planning on moving in with andre when he gets out of school, it just looks like its gonna be sooner, oh well..i just miss the good ol days with my mom, and her being so cool and would do anything for me...whatever if shes gonna be like that she can, shes being immature and im not staying around while she puts me through hell..im working like 50hrs a week and i dont need anymore stress than that...
honestly..i just dont know anymore..life sucks...it really does..derek has three weeks of college left, then hes out..making money,and ill have my new car soon..which is not a mustang anymore, a charger, they are much nicer and derek talked me out of a mustang, they arent safe and not as nice as chargers, plus they arent as fast as a charger...oh well, they were my 2nd choice anyway..
i think everyone around me is having some kind of problem, im not gonna name anyones names, but what the hell is going on, i need out of luling, and i mean now..its just terrible and i hate it..
well i guess ill go to bed now..dre asked me to go in and help pick up groceries..woo hoo fun..@ least its overtime and ill make even more $ an hour...
if anyone reads this, some positive feedback would be appreciated...goodnight..
well im still working, and im still with derek, but i dont live @ home anymore..i moved in with andre, well most of my stuff is here, me, my necessities and my dog, so i guess thats all i need..oh yea, and my car...my mom and i have been fighting ever since i got my tatoo, like almost 2 months ago, and they get really violent, like i wanna hit her..but trust me i never would hit my mom, she just pushes my buttons in the wrong way and i hate it..and her @ the moment..granted i know my nanny is really sick and we are all supposed to make sacrifices for her and do everything for her, but when it comes to ppl treating me like shit im not gonna take it anymore...me and my nanny got in a huge fight last week bc i usually clean my grannys house and give her a pedicure for $165 a week from the company, and do a few things for the company, but she got the biggest attitude with me bc i only had one day off, today and i was on call all day, bc @ work, where i make a TON more money and get treated much better, its stressfull, and she came @ me with "well when you have a day off, you seem to have plans" i guess i fucking do, im 21 years old and cant do anything..everything is just falling apart, my mom and i fight about anything and everything, my dad stays out of it, and my granny puts me on a guild trip about it.."she could drop dead tomorrow, and then yall would be on bad terms" yeah that scares me but im tired of getting treated like i do, i should take care of myself..not anyone else first, and they dont understand that, so when my mom and i got into it today i grabbed whatever i could in one trip to my car and got the hell out..she said "i guess your moving out" i just kept on going..she is really bipolar lately, i dunno if its serious or if its just that she doesnt know how to deal with her sister dying, but i dont need to be called a slut and a whore behind my back bc i got a tatoo, i didnt think that constituted me as a slut, but hey im probably wrong..who knows..like i really dont know whats going on anymore, derek and i were planning on moving in with andre when he gets out of school, it just looks like its gonna be sooner, oh well..i just miss the good ol days with my mom, and her being so cool and would do anything for me...whatever if shes gonna be like that she can, shes being immature and im not staying around while she puts me through hell..im working like 50hrs a week and i dont need anymore stress than that...
honestly..i just dont know anymore..life sucks...it really does..derek has three weeks of college left, then hes out..making money,and ill have my new car soon..which is not a mustang anymore, a charger, they are much nicer and derek talked me out of a mustang, they arent safe and not as nice as chargers, plus they arent as fast as a charger...oh well, they were my 2nd choice anyway..
i think everyone around me is having some kind of problem, im not gonna name anyones names, but what the hell is going on, i need out of luling, and i mean now..its just terrible and i hate it..
well i guess ill go to bed now..dre asked me to go in and help pick up groceries..woo hoo fun..@ least its overtime and ill make even more $ an hour...
if anyone reads this, some positive feedback would be appreciated...goodnight..