ahem, a thought about gossip
it has come to my attention that the folks i used to call friends in a circle i once belonged to are telling really horrible lies about what happened in the group, my partner (who was also a part of this group), and possibly me.
if you hear such things, i would urge you to get a full and complete accounting from ALL persons involved in the group. it is disturbing and jarring to have a story (that i am involved in) completely mismatch mine. further, these personal accounts of the past goes beyond what Thorn (one of my teachers) has taught me as "the stories we tell ourself", because some of the things being reported by these folks NEVER actually happened.
what happens when someone's "story" is based on a lie? what do you do with that? i mean, maybe they truly believe something that is not true now? or maybe they are in such a place of hurt that they want others to believe a hurtful hateful thing to punish us somehow? i know our memories and recollections are frail fragile things, but this is kind of ridiculous...
to the community at large, i would urge people when listening to opinions, gossip, and personal stories to realize that there are many sides to the story you are hearing, and sometimes when trying to put them all together it will be strange in the telling, hardly ever black-and-white and easy to pick heroes and villians.
even if you love, like or are compelled by the person telling you such a story (or dislike the person being talked about), it does not mean the story is objective or even true. no one goes through life without making mistakes in judgment or harming another. i just find it sad that these folks have a desire or need to hurt us...
if you hear such things, i would urge you to get a full and complete accounting from ALL persons involved in the group. it is disturbing and jarring to have a story (that i am involved in) completely mismatch mine. further, these personal accounts of the past goes beyond what Thorn (one of my teachers) has taught me as "the stories we tell ourself", because some of the things being reported by these folks NEVER actually happened.
what happens when someone's "story" is based on a lie? what do you do with that? i mean, maybe they truly believe something that is not true now? or maybe they are in such a place of hurt that they want others to believe a hurtful hateful thing to punish us somehow? i know our memories and recollections are frail fragile things, but this is kind of ridiculous...
to the community at large, i would urge people when listening to opinions, gossip, and personal stories to realize that there are many sides to the story you are hearing, and sometimes when trying to put them all together it will be strange in the telling, hardly ever black-and-white and easy to pick heroes and villians.
even if you love, like or are compelled by the person telling you such a story (or dislike the person being talked about), it does not mean the story is objective or even true. no one goes through life without making mistakes in judgment or harming another. i just find it sad that these folks have a desire or need to hurt us...