(no subject)
Dear CNN,
Can we just take a moment to look at your headlines today? Thanks. I think it is important to address the fact that I continue to read you as if you were an actual news source, when in reality you are a shitty fucking tabloid, only without the scandalous celebrity photos.
That's lame.
1) Don't Pee In the Pool!
Really? There are people who pee in pools? And it is actually pretty gross?
Statistical data, let me show you it:
The survey released by Golodner's group, which advises the American Chemistry Council, found that 11 percent of the surveyed adults said they have swum with a runny nose, 7 percent with an exposed rash or cut and 1 percent when ill with diarrhea. The margin of error was plus or minus 3.1 percentage points.
Oooh, margin of error! That means you did you homework! THIS IS BULLSHIT. WHY AM I READING IT?!?
2)This story is supposed to be heartwarming. But in reality it is horrible. I hate it. I hate everything about it. There's nothing hearwarming about a dying kid who thought he had no chance the make things better for his family other than leaving them and trying to make something of his life in the US. Fucking American dream. Fucking American failure.
3) Something about WWII veterans. Oh, your first quote is one romanticizing Lindberg? Sorry, tl;dr.
4) World's Oldest Dog Also, this lady has a shiny green shirt, and the reporter's name is Blue Rolfes. Blue Rolfes.
5) Man sucker-punches blind woman on bus. Honestly, I'm not even going to bother saying anything about this.
Jesus Fucking Christ. How about some real news for a change? Or if that's not a possibility, how about some scandalous celebrity photos?
Can we just take a moment to look at your headlines today? Thanks. I think it is important to address the fact that I continue to read you as if you were an actual news source, when in reality you are a shitty fucking tabloid, only without the scandalous celebrity photos.
That's lame.
1) Don't Pee In the Pool!
Really? There are people who pee in pools? And it is actually pretty gross?
Statistical data, let me show you it:
The survey released by Golodner's group, which advises the American Chemistry Council, found that 11 percent of the surveyed adults said they have swum with a runny nose, 7 percent with an exposed rash or cut and 1 percent when ill with diarrhea. The margin of error was plus or minus 3.1 percentage points.
Oooh, margin of error! That means you did you homework! THIS IS BULLSHIT. WHY AM I READING IT?!?
2)This story is supposed to be heartwarming. But in reality it is horrible. I hate it. I hate everything about it. There's nothing hearwarming about a dying kid who thought he had no chance the make things better for his family other than leaving them and trying to make something of his life in the US. Fucking American dream. Fucking American failure.
3) Something about WWII veterans. Oh, your first quote is one romanticizing Lindberg? Sorry, tl;dr.
4) World's Oldest Dog Also, this lady has a shiny green shirt, and the reporter's name is Blue Rolfes. Blue Rolfes.
5) Man sucker-punches blind woman on bus. Honestly, I'm not even going to bother saying anything about this.
Jesus Fucking Christ. How about some real news for a change? Or if that's not a possibility, how about some scandalous celebrity photos?