(no subject)
words can't even describe how fucked up my weekend was, but I'm going to try.
Friday: Rachel borrowed my car to go to Boston with the Poofs. After having not slept much all week, I got home from SAL a little after 5 and collapsed. I was woken up at about 7 by four people playing their fucking drums in Vicky's room with the door open. After thinking about it for a while, I opened my door looking all sleepy/grumpy and Ori looked up and was like "oh, I didn't know you were sleeping. I thought that since it was dinnertime everyone would be awake. We'll stop. Are you going to sleep for the night cause there's going to be a party in here and in Shira's room." And then they didn't stop, so I was officially awake. I played around with my technicolor ass for a while, and then Bonnie called and her father had died at about 1:30 and she thought she should call me. And then I felt like an asshole for not knowing what to say and I felt like an asshole for not being there to hug her or something. I tried to call my mommy, but she'd been missing for a while and no one ever picks up the phone. Then people started screaming in the hall and the drums started again and I got really, really miserable, and called Mrs Moran and cried at her and then talked to Theresa and cried at her too and the drumming got so loud that I couldn't hear what she was saying, so I went and asked them to close the door and they actually stopped for a little while and Theresa and I talked about nothing and about how I feel like an asshole all the time and she whined about lacrosse and I decided to take the train down to visit them on Saturday morning. I called Sid and Katja and told them I was miserable then went over to do shots with them and Eric (yummy!) and they left to go to the Pimps and Hoes party and I got back in bed. Then they came and knocked on my door ("You wanna come play drums?" asks Sid) and came in and sat around with me for a while and then we went back to their room and Theresa called and then we watched Romeo and Juliet until everyone started falling asleep. On the way back to my room, my pants fell off. When I got there, the car key was mysteriously on my desk.
Saturday: I decided I didn't want to go to Philly after all. I went to move the car and discovered that it had no gas. I went to brunch and bitched about Rachel to everyone I usually don't talk to and they all said it was horrible and awful and Sarah offered to go yell at her. I call her but she wasn't there. Mrs. Moran called to see if I was feeling better and to ask if I was coming. Rachel called back, said that the gas station had been closed last night and that she'd left her wallet in my car and wanted to take it, fill it up, and go shopping for the drag ball. I decided to go to WalMart with her 'cause I needed a fishie-scooper (so Iverson doesn't try to kill himself next time I change his water). The wallet wasn't in the car or in her room or in my room, so I called public safety and they had it because some wonderful person had turned it in, with nothing missing. Then we shopped and shopped and she got boy clothes and exciting $1 shoes and stuff. We went back to Northrop and while Rachel was bleaching her hair, Maura decided that s/he wanted to dress me up and the two of them told me that I really did want to go to the drag ball (even though I'd been planning on just getting in bed and reading the salt book and feeling sorry for mywelf) and I decided that I should try to be social for once. So I went to Maura's room and tried on a lot of clothes and felt silly and weird and ended up with tux pants and a green shirt and a black tie and a coat and a hat. I went back to Wilder to get proper underwear (eew, thighs touching) and safety pins to cuff the pants and look for proper shoes. I gave up on the shoes and went back to Northrop and ran into Jeri, who let me borrow shoes and couldn't find Maura or Rachel, and went into Rachel's room and looked at her away message, which said she'd gone to the party. Then she walked in with Lucas, who was wearing a skirt and kicked me out to put a girly purple tank top on him. Then she told me that she had a date to the thing, which I thought was kind of shitty because I didn't want to just be some random chick standing there looking like an ass. They went over to Cutter/Z and told me to come along, and went to someone's room where there were a lot of people wearing weird things and Rachel's date, Sid was putting on lipstick and wearing a pink wig and a skirt and heels and stuff. Ok, note of clarification: Sid is someone who I know from a class, who gives me hugs when I really need them, and cigarettes when i don't have any. We're not best buddies, but he's definately someone who I think of as a friendly acquaintence. This friendly acquaintence comes up to me to give me a hug, which I don't have issues with, and then took my hand and puts it on his crotch, where I found a dick under his skirt. Eeew eeew icky eeew. I don't go putting my friend's hands on my crotch 'cause that's not just a cool thing to do. I was severely traumatized and didn't know what to say so I didn't say anything. Everyone wanted to go somewhere and I decided that maybe I should just go take a walk because I was fucking hot in the stupid boy clothes. Sid wanted me to go with them but I said no and he said that I should call him if I ever need anything. All of a sudden I was really miserable again, and I walked back to Northrop and started crying and called Katja from the downstairs phone and cried at her a lot and told her that I feel stupid and I look stupid and something really disturbing has just happened to me and I hate everything and everyone and I don't know what to do 'cause I'm all dressed up and there isn't anywhere I want to go. She and Sidney offered to come pick me up on their way to Hampshire, and I decided that it'll be better than what I'm doing, so I went upstairs to find girl clothes. The only thing I had there is jeans and a tank top, so I went through Rachel's stuff to find a sweater and nothing fit me and I was wearing a sports bra so the straps were an issue. I finally found something, folded Maura's clothes and left them on Rachel's desk, left her a note, returned Jeri's shoes and told her that I'm having a hard time keeping my shit together, and went outside to cry and smoke on the porch. Petra was there and she didn't notice I was crying and I told her that Victoria and I are switching rooms on paper, which will make me a real Northropite. Katja and Sid showed up and I got in the car and cried a lot and felt like an asshole and felt pathetic. We went to pick Eric up and I asked him not to make me touch his penis and told him that I've had a bad night. We went to Hampshire for some webpeople "party", at which there were many very stupid people, who then went to smoke a lot of pot. Katja and I sat on the sofa and made snide comments and my evening improved greatly. We watched "Heathers" and then left. We'd planned on having a slumber party, but it was already after 12 and we were all about to pass out 'cause we've turned into old ladies. I got back to my room and as I was writing a list of things I hate on my board, Christine came by and read my list and gave me a hug and I went to her room and bitched to her for a while and she made me feel better, and then I went to bed and felt sorry for myself.
Friday: Rachel borrowed my car to go to Boston with the Poofs. After having not slept much all week, I got home from SAL a little after 5 and collapsed. I was woken up at about 7 by four people playing their fucking drums in Vicky's room with the door open. After thinking about it for a while, I opened my door looking all sleepy/grumpy and Ori looked up and was like "oh, I didn't know you were sleeping. I thought that since it was dinnertime everyone would be awake. We'll stop. Are you going to sleep for the night cause there's going to be a party in here and in Shira's room." And then they didn't stop, so I was officially awake. I played around with my technicolor ass for a while, and then Bonnie called and her father had died at about 1:30 and she thought she should call me. And then I felt like an asshole for not knowing what to say and I felt like an asshole for not being there to hug her or something. I tried to call my mommy, but she'd been missing for a while and no one ever picks up the phone. Then people started screaming in the hall and the drums started again and I got really, really miserable, and called Mrs Moran and cried at her and then talked to Theresa and cried at her too and the drumming got so loud that I couldn't hear what she was saying, so I went and asked them to close the door and they actually stopped for a little while and Theresa and I talked about nothing and about how I feel like an asshole all the time and she whined about lacrosse and I decided to take the train down to visit them on Saturday morning. I called Sid and Katja and told them I was miserable then went over to do shots with them and Eric (yummy!) and they left to go to the Pimps and Hoes party and I got back in bed. Then they came and knocked on my door ("You wanna come play drums?" asks Sid) and came in and sat around with me for a while and then we went back to their room and Theresa called and then we watched Romeo and Juliet until everyone started falling asleep. On the way back to my room, my pants fell off. When I got there, the car key was mysteriously on my desk.
Saturday: I decided I didn't want to go to Philly after all. I went to move the car and discovered that it had no gas. I went to brunch and bitched about Rachel to everyone I usually don't talk to and they all said it was horrible and awful and Sarah offered to go yell at her. I call her but she wasn't there. Mrs. Moran called to see if I was feeling better and to ask if I was coming. Rachel called back, said that the gas station had been closed last night and that she'd left her wallet in my car and wanted to take it, fill it up, and go shopping for the drag ball. I decided to go to WalMart with her 'cause I needed a fishie-scooper (so Iverson doesn't try to kill himself next time I change his water). The wallet wasn't in the car or in her room or in my room, so I called public safety and they had it because some wonderful person had turned it in, with nothing missing. Then we shopped and shopped and she got boy clothes and exciting $1 shoes and stuff. We went back to Northrop and while Rachel was bleaching her hair, Maura decided that s/he wanted to dress me up and the two of them told me that I really did want to go to the drag ball (even though I'd been planning on just getting in bed and reading the salt book and feeling sorry for mywelf) and I decided that I should try to be social for once. So I went to Maura's room and tried on a lot of clothes and felt silly and weird and ended up with tux pants and a green shirt and a black tie and a coat and a hat. I went back to Wilder to get proper underwear (eew, thighs touching) and safety pins to cuff the pants and look for proper shoes. I gave up on the shoes and went back to Northrop and ran into Jeri, who let me borrow shoes and couldn't find Maura or Rachel, and went into Rachel's room and looked at her away message, which said she'd gone to the party. Then she walked in with Lucas, who was wearing a skirt and kicked me out to put a girly purple tank top on him. Then she told me that she had a date to the thing, which I thought was kind of shitty because I didn't want to just be some random chick standing there looking like an ass. They went over to Cutter/Z and told me to come along, and went to someone's room where there were a lot of people wearing weird things and Rachel's date, Sid was putting on lipstick and wearing a pink wig and a skirt and heels and stuff. Ok, note of clarification: Sid is someone who I know from a class, who gives me hugs when I really need them, and cigarettes when i don't have any. We're not best buddies, but he's definately someone who I think of as a friendly acquaintence. This friendly acquaintence comes up to me to give me a hug, which I don't have issues with, and then took my hand and puts it on his crotch, where I found a dick under his skirt. Eeew eeew icky eeew. I don't go putting my friend's hands on my crotch 'cause that's not just a cool thing to do. I was severely traumatized and didn't know what to say so I didn't say anything. Everyone wanted to go somewhere and I decided that maybe I should just go take a walk because I was fucking hot in the stupid boy clothes. Sid wanted me to go with them but I said no and he said that I should call him if I ever need anything. All of a sudden I was really miserable again, and I walked back to Northrop and started crying and called Katja from the downstairs phone and cried at her a lot and told her that I feel stupid and I look stupid and something really disturbing has just happened to me and I hate everything and everyone and I don't know what to do 'cause I'm all dressed up and there isn't anywhere I want to go. She and Sidney offered to come pick me up on their way to Hampshire, and I decided that it'll be better than what I'm doing, so I went upstairs to find girl clothes. The only thing I had there is jeans and a tank top, so I went through Rachel's stuff to find a sweater and nothing fit me and I was wearing a sports bra so the straps were an issue. I finally found something, folded Maura's clothes and left them on Rachel's desk, left her a note, returned Jeri's shoes and told her that I'm having a hard time keeping my shit together, and went outside to cry and smoke on the porch. Petra was there and she didn't notice I was crying and I told her that Victoria and I are switching rooms on paper, which will make me a real Northropite. Katja and Sid showed up and I got in the car and cried a lot and felt like an asshole and felt pathetic. We went to pick Eric up and I asked him not to make me touch his penis and told him that I've had a bad night. We went to Hampshire for some webpeople "party", at which there were many very stupid people, who then went to smoke a lot of pot. Katja and I sat on the sofa and made snide comments and my evening improved greatly. We watched "Heathers" and then left. We'd planned on having a slumber party, but it was already after 12 and we were all about to pass out 'cause we've turned into old ladies. I got back to my room and as I was writing a list of things I hate on my board, Christine came by and read my list and gave me a hug and I went to her room and bitched to her for a while and she made me feel better, and then I went to bed and felt sorry for myself.