fic : Hope
Title : Hope
Pairing : Ten/Rose
Genre : Romance
Rating : All Ages
Word Count : 1975
Status : Complete
Summary : "You still should have said," she whispered softly, glancing away as a tear fell to her cheek. "It would have given me something to hold onto, something to hope for. Everyone deserves hope and I didn't even have that."
Hope
The Doctor had been sitting on the low garden wall next to the TARDIS for a while, just staring up at the stars and killing time. It had been a good day, warm and sunny and happy, but all days end and this one was drawing to a close with ever increasing speed. He could feel it. Time was running away like sand through an hour glass and there was nothing he could do to stop it.
From the corner of his eye he saw something and glanced back to the house. His mouth dried and his stomach tightened and his hearts jumped as he watched Rose walking across the green lawn towards him. She was wearing flat cream shoes and a flowing strappy cream dress made of silk. The air was warm that night, and the breeze that made the flowers sway was gentle. Her hair was down now, brushed out from the style she'd worn at the party, she looked more like the Rose he'd known... before.
He smiled softly at her as she grew closer but when she didn't smile back, he wasn't surprised; he'd told her to have a fantastic life after all. He'd insisted on it. He really had no right then to... He hung his head for a moment, so that she couldn't read the flicker of emotions in his eyes. He only looked up again when she was standing next to him, and only then because he considered it would have been rude not to.
It had been such a good day and it would be a shame to spoil it now. So he offered her his best smile and hoped she wouldn't see through it.
Rose held out a goblet of champagne towards him, it was bright and bubbly and if the Doctor knew Pete, a very good vintage.
He took the glass and stared at it, before looking back at Rose. "Champagne was never my drink," he mused. "Tea, now that's..."
"I remember a time when your drink was banana daiquiris," Rose interrupted, her voice cooler than he remembered it being.
He thought about it then nodded slightly. "That was a long time ago."
"Three years," she said distantly. "Still," she pressed on, "it's not every day you drop in for a visit. I think the occasion calls for champagne." She held his gaze, waiting, watching.
He didn't flinch, at least not on the outside. A visit. He grinned at her, deciding not to show how deep she'd cut him. But she was right, this was a visit. He had no right whatsoever to expect a happily ever after. Besides, she was happy, she had a fantastic life. How could he ever have thought to take her away from that?
"Quite right too." He lifted the goblet to his lips and drank, his eyes never leaving hers. She was the one to look away first. He drained the glass then set it down next to him on the wall and looked back at her. The silence was torture and he fell to small talk to save himself. "So... Mr Mickey... married."
Rose let out a breath. "Yeah, and of course you crash the wedding. Always did like to make an entrance didn't you, Doctor?"
He looked at her. "I didn't plan it like that." His words betrayed his wounds and he regretted them.
She nodded her head. "I know."
But not convinced, he jumped down from the wall and stood in front of her, taking her hands in his. "I found a fracture, a very small one but it's unstable." He reached out to touch her face oh so gently. "There was no time to waste, Rose. If I hadn't come through then I might have spent another thirty years searching before..." he stopped talking; realising from the look on her face that he'd already said too much.
She stepped back, her eyes wide with surprise. "Thirty years?"
He breathed out. "Thirty years, seven months, three weeks, one day, nine hours, four minutes and..." He looked at his watch. "Twelve seconds, thirteen, no fourteen."
She stared at him and there were tears in her eyes, tears he couldn't bear to see fall, so he reached out and brushed them away. She moved, held his hand in place against her cheek, leant her face into his touch and she stared at him through unshed tears as a smile flickered to life at her lips and he, he found himself grinning back at her because it was impossible not to.
"Time Lord," she whispered softly and let his hand fall away. She blinked and the moment vanished; her walls rebuilding. "You said it was impossible."
"I thought it was."
"But you kept looking anyway?"
She had him there. He braced his shoulders. "I thought that there was a chance, maybe, a small chance. Very small. Minuscule really."
"Why didn't you say?"
"I couldn't. If I'd told you what would you have done?"
Her answer was immediate. "I'd have waited."
"Of course you would," he said. "And that's why I didn't say anything. I couldn't have you putting your life on hold on the off chance I'd find a way through."
"You still should have said," she whispered softly, glancing away as a tear fell to her cheek. "It would have given me something to hold onto, something to hope for. Everyone deserves hope and I didn't even have that."
"I'm sorry, Rose."
"Doesn't matter now." She wiped away her tears with the back of her hand, smearing her mascara.
"You always did wear too much of that stuff," the Doctor teased gently.
Rose nodded and folded her arms. "So," she began with a forced brightness to her voice. "Mum and Pete put on a good party don't they?"
He looked back to the house, where he could hear the soft strains of violins. "Nothing but the best." He looked at Rose and reached out to touch her hair, his fingers brushing through it. "You still have confetti in your hair."
"Yeah well, that stuff gets everywhere." She stepped back. "I caught the bouquet, but I think Tiff was aiming for me, so it probably doesn't count." Her eyes darted to his. "Did you see?"
"I did." There was a moment of silence. "Are they happy, Mr and Mrs Smith?"
Rose smiled, an honest smile that shone in her eyes. "Sickeningly." She laughed and then her smile drifted away. "If only everyone could be as happy."
He pushed his hands deep into his pockets. "Doesn't work like that."
"Too domestic?"
He attempted a smile. "It's been a lovely day, Rose, one I won't forget. Mr Mickey got married. I danced with the bride. Aunt Sylvia got drunk. Daisy called me Doc-Doc. Jackie didn't slap me. I played croquet on the lawn with Pete... " he frowned a little. "I think he cheated."
Rose laughed. "He always cheats."
"Not very sportsman like."
Rose stared at him and changed the subject without missing a beat. "Anything exciting happen in those thirty years?"
"Nah," he shook his head. "You didn't miss much. Ranting brides, Shakespeare, witches, cat people, Daleks. The usual."
"Daleks?" Rose looked startled. "But I thought..."
He shook his head. "Doesn't matter. Bad pennies always have a habit of turning up."
"And you always save the day."
"With a little help from my friends."
"Did you... did you have many of those?" She hadn't wanted to ask, but somehow the words forced their way out. "Friends, I mean. You must have. Thirty years is a long time not to have... friends."
He knew what she was asking, just as he'd known all those years ago when they'd talked about dancing. He smiled as he remembered those days. They had been good days, just like today.
"I had friends," he said quietly, his eyes intent upon hers. "But I never danced with any of them."
She had been holding her breath and hadn't realised it until that moment, when she let out a sigh of relief. "Oh."
The Doctor grinned from ear to ear, suddenly remembering something. "Speaking of friends, Jack says hello."
Rose's eyes grew wide and she took a cautious step closer. "Jack?" she echoed in amazement. "He's alive?"
"More than you'd ever believe."
She laughed, her heart happy. She came to stand as close to him as she dared. "I lied."
He frowned. "What about?"
She took a breath. "I said that I didn't have hope. I did. It was all I had to hold on to; the hope that one day you'd find a way to..." She reached out and touched his face. "I never stopped believing in you, Doctor."
"There's so much I want to tell you." He traced her face, brushed his fingers through her hair. "I don't know where to start."
She shook her head. "There isn't time."
He swallowed hard. "No."
She moved closer, wound her hands up behind his neck, lifted herself up onto her toes and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around her, held her tightly, deepened the kiss, felt her body tremble against his, then drew back to look into her face.
"Rose, I've waited thirty years to tell that I..."
She pressed a finger to his lips and shook her head. "I know, I've always known. You don't have to say it."
Gently he moved her fingertips away from his mouth and smiled. "I love you, Rose Tyler."
She leant in towards him, let him hold her in his arms, her head pressed against the beat of one of his hearts. Too soon he pulled away, stepping back and looking at her with sad eyes.
"It's time."
She nodded, understanding, and followed him to the TARDIS doors. "Doctor..."
He turned to look at her as she slipped her hand into his and he frowned a little, in confusion. "You can't... you have a life here."
"I don't," Rose corrected. "This isn't my life Doctor, it never was, all this is, is waiting... for you. Now I don't have to wait anymore."
He looked to the house. "What about the others?"
"They already know. They've always known. I've said my goodbyes."
"They need you, Rose."
She shook her head. "Mum an' Pete have Daisy, an' Mickey has Tiff." She smiled softly. "Take me home Doctor."
"You're sure?"
"If you'll have me."
He brought her into his arms. "Always," he whispered and opened the TARDIS doors. Together they walked inside and closed the doors behind them.
It wasn't long after that that the TARDIS found its way home, back to where it belonged, and so did Rose Tyler. The fracture in time closed behind them and at last all was right with the universe, just as it should be.
Pairing : Ten/Rose
Genre : Romance
Rating : All Ages
Word Count : 1975
Status : Complete
Summary : "You still should have said," she whispered softly, glancing away as a tear fell to her cheek. "It would have given me something to hold onto, something to hope for. Everyone deserves hope and I didn't even have that."
Hope
The Doctor had been sitting on the low garden wall next to the TARDIS for a while, just staring up at the stars and killing time. It had been a good day, warm and sunny and happy, but all days end and this one was drawing to a close with ever increasing speed. He could feel it. Time was running away like sand through an hour glass and there was nothing he could do to stop it.
From the corner of his eye he saw something and glanced back to the house. His mouth dried and his stomach tightened and his hearts jumped as he watched Rose walking across the green lawn towards him. She was wearing flat cream shoes and a flowing strappy cream dress made of silk. The air was warm that night, and the breeze that made the flowers sway was gentle. Her hair was down now, brushed out from the style she'd worn at the party, she looked more like the Rose he'd known... before.
He smiled softly at her as she grew closer but when she didn't smile back, he wasn't surprised; he'd told her to have a fantastic life after all. He'd insisted on it. He really had no right then to... He hung his head for a moment, so that she couldn't read the flicker of emotions in his eyes. He only looked up again when she was standing next to him, and only then because he considered it would have been rude not to.
It had been such a good day and it would be a shame to spoil it now. So he offered her his best smile and hoped she wouldn't see through it.
Rose held out a goblet of champagne towards him, it was bright and bubbly and if the Doctor knew Pete, a very good vintage.
He took the glass and stared at it, before looking back at Rose. "Champagne was never my drink," he mused. "Tea, now that's..."
"I remember a time when your drink was banana daiquiris," Rose interrupted, her voice cooler than he remembered it being.
He thought about it then nodded slightly. "That was a long time ago."
"Three years," she said distantly. "Still," she pressed on, "it's not every day you drop in for a visit. I think the occasion calls for champagne." She held his gaze, waiting, watching.
He didn't flinch, at least not on the outside. A visit. He grinned at her, deciding not to show how deep she'd cut him. But she was right, this was a visit. He had no right whatsoever to expect a happily ever after. Besides, she was happy, she had a fantastic life. How could he ever have thought to take her away from that?
"Quite right too." He lifted the goblet to his lips and drank, his eyes never leaving hers. She was the one to look away first. He drained the glass then set it down next to him on the wall and looked back at her. The silence was torture and he fell to small talk to save himself. "So... Mr Mickey... married."
Rose let out a breath. "Yeah, and of course you crash the wedding. Always did like to make an entrance didn't you, Doctor?"
He looked at her. "I didn't plan it like that." His words betrayed his wounds and he regretted them.
She nodded her head. "I know."
But not convinced, he jumped down from the wall and stood in front of her, taking her hands in his. "I found a fracture, a very small one but it's unstable." He reached out to touch her face oh so gently. "There was no time to waste, Rose. If I hadn't come through then I might have spent another thirty years searching before..." he stopped talking; realising from the look on her face that he'd already said too much.
She stepped back, her eyes wide with surprise. "Thirty years?"
He breathed out. "Thirty years, seven months, three weeks, one day, nine hours, four minutes and..." He looked at his watch. "Twelve seconds, thirteen, no fourteen."
She stared at him and there were tears in her eyes, tears he couldn't bear to see fall, so he reached out and brushed them away. She moved, held his hand in place against her cheek, leant her face into his touch and she stared at him through unshed tears as a smile flickered to life at her lips and he, he found himself grinning back at her because it was impossible not to.
"Time Lord," she whispered softly and let his hand fall away. She blinked and the moment vanished; her walls rebuilding. "You said it was impossible."
"I thought it was."
"But you kept looking anyway?"
She had him there. He braced his shoulders. "I thought that there was a chance, maybe, a small chance. Very small. Minuscule really."
"Why didn't you say?"
"I couldn't. If I'd told you what would you have done?"
Her answer was immediate. "I'd have waited."
"Of course you would," he said. "And that's why I didn't say anything. I couldn't have you putting your life on hold on the off chance I'd find a way through."
"You still should have said," she whispered softly, glancing away as a tear fell to her cheek. "It would have given me something to hold onto, something to hope for. Everyone deserves hope and I didn't even have that."
"I'm sorry, Rose."
"Doesn't matter now." She wiped away her tears with the back of her hand, smearing her mascara.
"You always did wear too much of that stuff," the Doctor teased gently.
Rose nodded and folded her arms. "So," she began with a forced brightness to her voice. "Mum and Pete put on a good party don't they?"
He looked back to the house, where he could hear the soft strains of violins. "Nothing but the best." He looked at Rose and reached out to touch her hair, his fingers brushing through it. "You still have confetti in your hair."
"Yeah well, that stuff gets everywhere." She stepped back. "I caught the bouquet, but I think Tiff was aiming for me, so it probably doesn't count." Her eyes darted to his. "Did you see?"
"I did." There was a moment of silence. "Are they happy, Mr and Mrs Smith?"
Rose smiled, an honest smile that shone in her eyes. "Sickeningly." She laughed and then her smile drifted away. "If only everyone could be as happy."
He pushed his hands deep into his pockets. "Doesn't work like that."
"Too domestic?"
He attempted a smile. "It's been a lovely day, Rose, one I won't forget. Mr Mickey got married. I danced with the bride. Aunt Sylvia got drunk. Daisy called me Doc-Doc. Jackie didn't slap me. I played croquet on the lawn with Pete... " he frowned a little. "I think he cheated."
Rose laughed. "He always cheats."
"Not very sportsman like."
Rose stared at him and changed the subject without missing a beat. "Anything exciting happen in those thirty years?"
"Nah," he shook his head. "You didn't miss much. Ranting brides, Shakespeare, witches, cat people, Daleks. The usual."
"Daleks?" Rose looked startled. "But I thought..."
He shook his head. "Doesn't matter. Bad pennies always have a habit of turning up."
"And you always save the day."
"With a little help from my friends."
"Did you... did you have many of those?" She hadn't wanted to ask, but somehow the words forced their way out. "Friends, I mean. You must have. Thirty years is a long time not to have... friends."
He knew what she was asking, just as he'd known all those years ago when they'd talked about dancing. He smiled as he remembered those days. They had been good days, just like today.
"I had friends," he said quietly, his eyes intent upon hers. "But I never danced with any of them."
She had been holding her breath and hadn't realised it until that moment, when she let out a sigh of relief. "Oh."
The Doctor grinned from ear to ear, suddenly remembering something. "Speaking of friends, Jack says hello."
Rose's eyes grew wide and she took a cautious step closer. "Jack?" she echoed in amazement. "He's alive?"
"More than you'd ever believe."
She laughed, her heart happy. She came to stand as close to him as she dared. "I lied."
He frowned. "What about?"
She took a breath. "I said that I didn't have hope. I did. It was all I had to hold on to; the hope that one day you'd find a way to..." She reached out and touched his face. "I never stopped believing in you, Doctor."
"There's so much I want to tell you." He traced her face, brushed his fingers through her hair. "I don't know where to start."
She shook her head. "There isn't time."
He swallowed hard. "No."
She moved closer, wound her hands up behind his neck, lifted herself up onto her toes and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around her, held her tightly, deepened the kiss, felt her body tremble against his, then drew back to look into her face.
"Rose, I've waited thirty years to tell that I..."
She pressed a finger to his lips and shook her head. "I know, I've always known. You don't have to say it."
Gently he moved her fingertips away from his mouth and smiled. "I love you, Rose Tyler."
She leant in towards him, let him hold her in his arms, her head pressed against the beat of one of his hearts. Too soon he pulled away, stepping back and looking at her with sad eyes.
"It's time."
She nodded, understanding, and followed him to the TARDIS doors. "Doctor..."
He turned to look at her as she slipped her hand into his and he frowned a little, in confusion. "You can't... you have a life here."
"I don't," Rose corrected. "This isn't my life Doctor, it never was, all this is, is waiting... for you. Now I don't have to wait anymore."
He looked to the house. "What about the others?"
"They already know. They've always known. I've said my goodbyes."
"They need you, Rose."
She shook her head. "Mum an' Pete have Daisy, an' Mickey has Tiff." She smiled softly. "Take me home Doctor."
"You're sure?"
"If you'll have me."
He brought her into his arms. "Always," he whispered and opened the TARDIS doors. Together they walked inside and closed the doors behind them.
It wasn't long after that that the TARDIS found its way home, back to where it belonged, and so did Rose Tyler. The fracture in time closed behind them and at last all was right with the universe, just as it should be.