StoryWorth:Friendship
Who have been your closest friends throughout the years?
My friends are the crowning glory of my life and I've been lucky to develop deep, long-lasting relationships with many of them. This may take me a while!
My first best friend was Rhonda. Her parents were members of our church and her mother was one of my mom's closest friends. Rhonda was born eight months before me and she has been a fact of my life since I was born. We came all the way through school, Girl Scouts, and Sunday School together and although we haven't spent a great deal of time together since we each went off to college, we keep in touch and see each other every couple of years. She's wonderfully crafty and sends us marvelous Christmas presents every year. We've been there to support each other through life's highs and lows and there is an enduring closeness that connects us like family.
Rhonda was actually a year ahead of me until I skipped in 2nd grade. Until then my closest friends were the other kids from church, particularly Lori, Evelyn, Paul, and Mark. Lori and I spent hours playing with our Fisher-Price people--she had the airport--and Evelyn and I would roam the marshes out behind her house in Coeymans Hollow and read the same books. I remember tobogganing on the hill beside Mark's house and the Christmas gathering his parents hosted, and spending hours playing in our back yards with Paul. I'm barely in touch with them now, though I had the chance to really reconnect with Mark earlier this year, to my great delight, but when I think of my early years they were a constant presence as we learned how to be people together.
My other best friend in elementary school was Tricia. We were classmates all but one year, I think, from 2nd through 12th grade and when I went to Columbia, she came to Barnard and spent a summer living with me in Boston. In high school we got to know Holly through drama club and there were two new kids in town that year, Lynmarie and Keith, all of whom became close friends of mine in different ways. I also spent a bunch of time with Karen--we wrote fanfic together and watched MTV when her family were one of the very first in town to get cable. There were various fallings out and losing touch, but I'm loosely in touch with all but one of them and enjoy seeing them online and catching up when we have a chance.
I have a lot of treasured friends from my college years, but only one with whom I actually attended the same school. Susan and I were the same year at Columbia, took a couple of classes together, and had many late nights and adventures. We stayed in vague touch through our twenties and she was one of my bridesmaids. We've actually become closer over time and these days touch base at least once a week online and talk often--we spent over an hour on the phone last night catching up. While we never spend as much time together as we'd like, we do manage to see each other at least three or four times a year. She is an amazing person--I've never introduced her to anyone who didn't find her charming and want to know her better--gives incredible hugs and makes me feel very loved whenever we talk, which is a marvelous gift.
The other lasting friend from my Columbia days is Sumati--she was a Barnard student I met through Tricia. She came to Boston for grad school and my sisters both adored her. I would say that we stayed very close until we both got married, one week apart. She moved to California at that point, while I left California for London, but we catch up a couple of times a year on the phone and see each other whenever we're in the same town. She is incredibly intelligent and insightful, with a very different perspective on life that I've always found both invigorating and grounding.
Despite never actually attending MIT--the only course I took for credit there was aerobics--most of my college-era friends went there, or at least hung out there. The two big groupings of people were the theatre gang and the Fenway House folk. For a while Larry, Rachel, steve, and I were so close that we joked about changing our last names to symbolize our family-like connection--Larry favored "Roosevelt," because Eleanor didn't have to change her name. Rachel and I shared an apartment for a term, as well as working the same job, dating the same men, and doing the same shows. Fenway House was like a fraternity in the good ways--closeness among the residents varied and shifted, but sharing a home and maintaining our house together created the basis for some of my longest-lasting, deepest friendships. The two that have stayed the closest are steve and Dave.
steve and I started talking on the phone regularly while I was still at Columbia. When we graduated and each had jobs with a lot of repetitive tasks and minimal supervision, we would spend hours chatting while we worked. I took an apartment in the same building where he lived with Tom for my last year before moving to California, which made it even more convenient to spend hours talking. A three-hour time difference turned out to be perfect for our respective schedules, so while I lived on the West Coast we talked almost every night. We used to each subscribe to TIME Magazine and would especially call each other to talk through the news of each issue. When I moved to London the time difference was trickier, but we found that if I got up at 7am I could catch him as he was getting home from the clubs and chat while I was waking up and he was winding down. These days we only manage to connect about once a week and see each other once a month, or so, but he's still probably the person with the most accurate model of me, the person who knows the most about what and how I think and feel about the world.
Dave and I were good friends while we were at Fenway and lived together, for a year--or two, depending on how you look at it--after I graduated. That was a particularly difficult time in his life and my focus was elsewhere, leaving us with a bunch of issues to resolve. We did stay in touch and during my years in California developed an extended email conversation that healed and deepened our friendship. After moving back to Boston and founding Theatre@First I was delighted that he came out to work with us for more than a decade. We still talk online and hang out regularly. Our conversation has ebbed and flowed over time, but continues to be one of the richest of my life.
We found Jo in London. Her second cousin introduced us and we quickly became close friends. She decided to move back to Boston--where we'd overlapped briefly, but never met--shortly after Jason and I did. She became one of the founding members of Theatre@First, developed a godmother relationship with Alice when she came along, and joined First Parish not long after we did. I'm not always the friend she wishes I could be, and she's had a lot of big changes in her life over the past few years that have impacted our closeness, but talking and working with her is always a joy and I try to appreciate that and celebrate her, always.
There are so many other people that I could talk about. Gilly, who gave me this project as a gift, who has taught me so much about design and courage and faith, and who makes the effort to reach out and make plans on a regular basis. Jeanne, one of my friends from the science-fiction convention world, who has kept in touch and popped back up and lets me edit her wonderful stories and connects different pieces of my world and shared the sadness of dealing with aging parents and their aftermath at exactly the right time. Drea, who is one of the most creative, intelligent, brave, and loving people I've ever been close to. Leon, who is always a breath of fresh air in my life and has the knack of going deep despite long absences. Glen, who drove cross-country with me and is just the best person for turning bad experiences into adventures and always smiles in a way that makes me feel special when he sees me walk in a room. Regis, who is an absolute rock and yet one of the most tender people I've ever known. Lindasusan, who has grown and elaborated her phenomenal self in so many breathtaking ways over the years, and her amazing wife, Emily. Linda Marie, who takes me way too seriously, but doesn''t hesitate to call me on my crap. The several ex-partners who've transmuted into friends and are treasured for finding a relationship with me that was possible to continue through the years after our romances withered. The many wonderful women of Theatre@First that I've had the chance to become closer with and am afraid to name for fear of leaving out someone important and obvious. The astonishing people of First Parish, many of whom I feel very close with, despite not having spent enough time together yet to justify that. And all the friends I'm forgetting at the moment, but whose memory makes me smile when I remember times of being close to one another.
Friendship is the pillar of my life and I am endlessly grateful for all of them.
This entry was originally posted at https://lillibet.dreamwidth.org/1318303.html. You can comment either place! There are
comments over there now.
My friends are the crowning glory of my life and I've been lucky to develop deep, long-lasting relationships with many of them. This may take me a while!
My first best friend was Rhonda. Her parents were members of our church and her mother was one of my mom's closest friends. Rhonda was born eight months before me and she has been a fact of my life since I was born. We came all the way through school, Girl Scouts, and Sunday School together and although we haven't spent a great deal of time together since we each went off to college, we keep in touch and see each other every couple of years. She's wonderfully crafty and sends us marvelous Christmas presents every year. We've been there to support each other through life's highs and lows and there is an enduring closeness that connects us like family.
Rhonda was actually a year ahead of me until I skipped in 2nd grade. Until then my closest friends were the other kids from church, particularly Lori, Evelyn, Paul, and Mark. Lori and I spent hours playing with our Fisher-Price people--she had the airport--and Evelyn and I would roam the marshes out behind her house in Coeymans Hollow and read the same books. I remember tobogganing on the hill beside Mark's house and the Christmas gathering his parents hosted, and spending hours playing in our back yards with Paul. I'm barely in touch with them now, though I had the chance to really reconnect with Mark earlier this year, to my great delight, but when I think of my early years they were a constant presence as we learned how to be people together.
My other best friend in elementary school was Tricia. We were classmates all but one year, I think, from 2nd through 12th grade and when I went to Columbia, she came to Barnard and spent a summer living with me in Boston. In high school we got to know Holly through drama club and there were two new kids in town that year, Lynmarie and Keith, all of whom became close friends of mine in different ways. I also spent a bunch of time with Karen--we wrote fanfic together and watched MTV when her family were one of the very first in town to get cable. There were various fallings out and losing touch, but I'm loosely in touch with all but one of them and enjoy seeing them online and catching up when we have a chance.
I have a lot of treasured friends from my college years, but only one with whom I actually attended the same school. Susan and I were the same year at Columbia, took a couple of classes together, and had many late nights and adventures. We stayed in vague touch through our twenties and she was one of my bridesmaids. We've actually become closer over time and these days touch base at least once a week online and talk often--we spent over an hour on the phone last night catching up. While we never spend as much time together as we'd like, we do manage to see each other at least three or four times a year. She is an amazing person--I've never introduced her to anyone who didn't find her charming and want to know her better--gives incredible hugs and makes me feel very loved whenever we talk, which is a marvelous gift.
The other lasting friend from my Columbia days is Sumati--she was a Barnard student I met through Tricia. She came to Boston for grad school and my sisters both adored her. I would say that we stayed very close until we both got married, one week apart. She moved to California at that point, while I left California for London, but we catch up a couple of times a year on the phone and see each other whenever we're in the same town. She is incredibly intelligent and insightful, with a very different perspective on life that I've always found both invigorating and grounding.
Despite never actually attending MIT--the only course I took for credit there was aerobics--most of my college-era friends went there, or at least hung out there. The two big groupings of people were the theatre gang and the Fenway House folk. For a while Larry, Rachel, steve, and I were so close that we joked about changing our last names to symbolize our family-like connection--Larry favored "Roosevelt," because Eleanor didn't have to change her name. Rachel and I shared an apartment for a term, as well as working the same job, dating the same men, and doing the same shows. Fenway House was like a fraternity in the good ways--closeness among the residents varied and shifted, but sharing a home and maintaining our house together created the basis for some of my longest-lasting, deepest friendships. The two that have stayed the closest are steve and Dave.
steve and I started talking on the phone regularly while I was still at Columbia. When we graduated and each had jobs with a lot of repetitive tasks and minimal supervision, we would spend hours chatting while we worked. I took an apartment in the same building where he lived with Tom for my last year before moving to California, which made it even more convenient to spend hours talking. A three-hour time difference turned out to be perfect for our respective schedules, so while I lived on the West Coast we talked almost every night. We used to each subscribe to TIME Magazine and would especially call each other to talk through the news of each issue. When I moved to London the time difference was trickier, but we found that if I got up at 7am I could catch him as he was getting home from the clubs and chat while I was waking up and he was winding down. These days we only manage to connect about once a week and see each other once a month, or so, but he's still probably the person with the most accurate model of me, the person who knows the most about what and how I think and feel about the world.
Dave and I were good friends while we were at Fenway and lived together, for a year--or two, depending on how you look at it--after I graduated. That was a particularly difficult time in his life and my focus was elsewhere, leaving us with a bunch of issues to resolve. We did stay in touch and during my years in California developed an extended email conversation that healed and deepened our friendship. After moving back to Boston and founding Theatre@First I was delighted that he came out to work with us for more than a decade. We still talk online and hang out regularly. Our conversation has ebbed and flowed over time, but continues to be one of the richest of my life.
We found Jo in London. Her second cousin introduced us and we quickly became close friends. She decided to move back to Boston--where we'd overlapped briefly, but never met--shortly after Jason and I did. She became one of the founding members of Theatre@First, developed a godmother relationship with Alice when she came along, and joined First Parish not long after we did. I'm not always the friend she wishes I could be, and she's had a lot of big changes in her life over the past few years that have impacted our closeness, but talking and working with her is always a joy and I try to appreciate that and celebrate her, always.
There are so many other people that I could talk about. Gilly, who gave me this project as a gift, who has taught me so much about design and courage and faith, and who makes the effort to reach out and make plans on a regular basis. Jeanne, one of my friends from the science-fiction convention world, who has kept in touch and popped back up and lets me edit her wonderful stories and connects different pieces of my world and shared the sadness of dealing with aging parents and their aftermath at exactly the right time. Drea, who is one of the most creative, intelligent, brave, and loving people I've ever been close to. Leon, who is always a breath of fresh air in my life and has the knack of going deep despite long absences. Glen, who drove cross-country with me and is just the best person for turning bad experiences into adventures and always smiles in a way that makes me feel special when he sees me walk in a room. Regis, who is an absolute rock and yet one of the most tender people I've ever known. Lindasusan, who has grown and elaborated her phenomenal self in so many breathtaking ways over the years, and her amazing wife, Emily. Linda Marie, who takes me way too seriously, but doesn''t hesitate to call me on my crap. The several ex-partners who've transmuted into friends and are treasured for finding a relationship with me that was possible to continue through the years after our romances withered. The many wonderful women of Theatre@First that I've had the chance to become closer with and am afraid to name for fear of leaving out someone important and obvious. The astonishing people of First Parish, many of whom I feel very close with, despite not having spent enough time together yet to justify that. And all the friends I'm forgetting at the moment, but whose memory makes me smile when I remember times of being close to one another.
Friendship is the pillar of my life and I am endlessly grateful for all of them.
This entry was originally posted at https://lillibet.dreamwidth.org/1318303.html. You can comment either place! There are
comments over there now.