Recurring Dreams
I tend to have recurring dreams, or at least dreams that follow the same pattern. For years I dreamed that I was trying to find someone at a party in a complicated house. Then I got married and never had that dream again. Lately (maybe the last six months) I have had a new pattern-dream that I only realized in the waking world when I woke up last night from a nap in the midst of one--only the one last night was significantly different.
In these dreams, I'm wandering through a large complex of buildings. I think it's probably a university, because it's a mix of different kinds of work spaces with a few residential spaces. There isn't a story of what I'm doing there, but I get the sense that I'm leaving--that whatever it was I was doing, it's over, and I have to do a few tasks before I head wherever else it is that I go. Sometimes I'm carrying things in my messenger bag that I will leave in certain places, at least once I had a bag of cans for recycling, though I don't remember arriving at a recycling center, or anything like that. My path takes me through classrooms (so I guess it is a university) and offices and along the connected balconies of living spaces where people grow plants and hang laundry out to dry. There's at least one fire escape structure that I navigate and at least one propped-open window that I step through. It is usually night, but sometimes it's day and I notice how nice the light looks shining down through some architectural feature. While I have things to do along the way, there is not a sense of urgency, or quest. I know exactly where I'm going and I have a background pleasure in the efficiency of my route. The area is not deserted, but I rarely run into people. When I do there is no sense that I am intruding, or that they have any potential authority over me. We nod and pass by. I have never, to my knowledge, reached the end of my route, but there is no sense of futility to my progress.
And then last night, it was different. There were two kids--eleven or twelve, maybe, playing with a kitten, or trying to coax it out from under a desk, and I came across them more than once. I ran into Larissa, whom I haven't seen in more than a decade, but there was no sense of discovery, just "hey, how ya doin'? see you around." But the major difference was that there were obstacles in my path. Nothing serious--the window that is usually propped open was shut, but not locked, so I opened it and saw the prop on the floor and replaced it before continuing. In one room there was a large metal cabinet pulled at an angle to the door, not blocking it, but as if to prevent the door from opening. Except that door opens the other way, so I reached around to open it, stepped around the cabinet and went on my way. I am vaguely puzzled by these changes, but not annoyed or upset by them, just wondering what's going on that things are out of order this way.
It's really quite a pleasant dream, even this last one. Not "a great dream," just filled with a sense of being in a familiar place, knowing how to move through it, nodding pleasantly at those I encounter, having a general sense of peace and purpose. I wonder what my brain is doing, running this familiar maze again and again. And I wonder what has changed that puts such ineffective obstacles in my path.
In these dreams, I'm wandering through a large complex of buildings. I think it's probably a university, because it's a mix of different kinds of work spaces with a few residential spaces. There isn't a story of what I'm doing there, but I get the sense that I'm leaving--that whatever it was I was doing, it's over, and I have to do a few tasks before I head wherever else it is that I go. Sometimes I'm carrying things in my messenger bag that I will leave in certain places, at least once I had a bag of cans for recycling, though I don't remember arriving at a recycling center, or anything like that. My path takes me through classrooms (so I guess it is a university) and offices and along the connected balconies of living spaces where people grow plants and hang laundry out to dry. There's at least one fire escape structure that I navigate and at least one propped-open window that I step through. It is usually night, but sometimes it's day and I notice how nice the light looks shining down through some architectural feature. While I have things to do along the way, there is not a sense of urgency, or quest. I know exactly where I'm going and I have a background pleasure in the efficiency of my route. The area is not deserted, but I rarely run into people. When I do there is no sense that I am intruding, or that they have any potential authority over me. We nod and pass by. I have never, to my knowledge, reached the end of my route, but there is no sense of futility to my progress.
And then last night, it was different. There were two kids--eleven or twelve, maybe, playing with a kitten, or trying to coax it out from under a desk, and I came across them more than once. I ran into Larissa, whom I haven't seen in more than a decade, but there was no sense of discovery, just "hey, how ya doin'? see you around." But the major difference was that there were obstacles in my path. Nothing serious--the window that is usually propped open was shut, but not locked, so I opened it and saw the prop on the floor and replaced it before continuing. In one room there was a large metal cabinet pulled at an angle to the door, not blocking it, but as if to prevent the door from opening. Except that door opens the other way, so I reached around to open it, stepped around the cabinet and went on my way. I am vaguely puzzled by these changes, but not annoyed or upset by them, just wondering what's going on that things are out of order this way.
It's really quite a pleasant dream, even this last one. Not "a great dream," just filled with a sense of being in a familiar place, knowing how to move through it, nodding pleasantly at those I encounter, having a general sense of peace and purpose. I wonder what my brain is doing, running this familiar maze again and again. And I wonder what has changed that puts such ineffective obstacles in my path.