My mother actually printed out that Globe article and I couldn't get past page two of it. While she knows I'm poly, she seems to believe that it's a phase and that it is utterly impossible to be in an "actually committed" relationship with more than one person. I'm not sure what her motives were for printing out the article but she seemed to believe it was an accurate representation.
I think I technically fall in the realm of the hook-up generation and these articles are so incredibly far from describing my experience that it makes me angry. Not only that, but I can't think of anyone I knew/know in college having only vaguely-connected or anonymous sex. Not only that, but I believe I'd lose the respect of my friends if they thought I was making choices like that! I never had many Official Boyfriends but I was always clearly in some form of a relationship with someone and it was always long term, even if the friendship lasted longer than the sexual aspects. I also never felt a need to hide my sexual activities behind some term designed to be meaningless.
And now, I'm in a presently-monogamous relationship, with steady & solid love and communication. Even if one wanted to argue that my younger days were wilder, they certainly didn't cripple me or keep me from having committed and meaningful relationships now (though I would argue that all my relationships were meaningful and committed on some level). It frustrates me to see "my generation" getting this bad reputation of loving anonymous sex. Sure, there are people who do engage in anonymous sex and take drugs without knowing what they are, but that hasn't been MY experience and I really dont think I'm that rare. People may be irresponsible but I've rarely known them to be utterly ignorant of what they're doing. It was the bit in the Globe article with the quote: Aparicio says friends at home think she's weird to be in a monogamous relationship. Nolan's relationship is enough of an anomaly among her friends that she says, "Some of them are curious about it -- like it's something foreign." WHAT?! None of my friends have this reaction to any of my relationships! "Something FOREIGN"? If anything, they thought I was weird for not being MORE committed.
I think this bothers me most because it gives people an excuse to view my past relationships as meaningless "hook-ups" and to devalue my choices without understanding them. It's hard enough knowing that I'm going to have to clearly explain polyamory any time I bring it up, but to feel that people will assume that I was interested in uncommitted, anonymous hook-ups is even more difficult for me.
Anyway... Hopefully this wasn't too ranty and was interesting.
I think I technically fall in the realm of the hook-up generation and these articles are so incredibly far from describing my experience that it makes me angry. Not only that, but I can't think of anyone I knew/know in college having only vaguely-connected or anonymous sex. Not only that, but I believe I'd lose the respect of my friends if they thought I was making choices like that!
I never had many Official Boyfriends but I was always clearly in some form of a relationship with someone and it was always long term, even if the friendship lasted longer than the sexual aspects. I also never felt a need to hide my sexual activities behind some term designed to be meaningless.
And now, I'm in a presently-monogamous relationship, with steady & solid love and communication. Even if one wanted to argue that my younger days were wilder, they certainly didn't cripple me or keep me from having committed and meaningful relationships now (though I would argue that all my relationships were meaningful and committed on some level).
It frustrates me to see "my generation" getting this bad reputation of loving anonymous sex. Sure, there are people who do engage in anonymous sex and take drugs without knowing what they are, but that hasn't been MY experience and I really dont think I'm that rare. People may be irresponsible but I've rarely known them to be utterly ignorant of what they're doing. It was the bit in the Globe article with the quote: Aparicio says friends at home think she's weird to be in a monogamous relationship. Nolan's relationship is enough of an anomaly among her friends that she says, "Some of them are curious about it -- like it's something foreign."
WHAT?! None of my friends have this reaction to any of my relationships! "Something FOREIGN"? If anything, they thought I was weird for not being MORE committed.
I think this bothers me most because it gives people an excuse to view my past relationships as meaningless "hook-ups" and to devalue my choices without understanding them. It's hard enough knowing that I'm going to have to clearly explain polyamory any time I bring it up, but to feel that people will assume that I was interested in uncommitted, anonymous hook-ups is even more difficult for me.
Anyway... Hopefully this wasn't too ranty and was interesting.
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Not at all and yes, very :) Thanks!
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