"A Voice in the Dark" (Lucas/OC; Thriller/Romance- PG13/R) Chapter VIII
TITLE: A Voice in the Dark
AUTHOR: Lexie aka lillianschild
FANDOM: Spooks/MI5
RATING: PG13
PAIRING: Lucas/OC
SUMMARY: Section D has a traitor in its midst and a mysterious man arrives with what appears to be the key to rid MI5 of the mole. This fic is my own version of Series 7.
A/N: I'm going to come back to this one as soon as I'm done working on the next chapter of my Guy/Marian fic "To Be Worthy" . By the way, I posted the second chapter a few days ago if you haven't read it yet.
Disclaimer: all recognisable characters belong to BBC and Kudos Productions; I'm just playing with them for a little while without making a profit. No infringement's intended.
READ THE BEGINNING HERE
READ THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER HERE
CHAPTER VIII
“Christine says the bait's already in place. Do you think our friend will turn up?”
“He wants me. He knows I can blow up his cover. The fact that they haven't caught him so far means I haven't talked about him yet, or so he thinks. He can't run the risk of letting me live. He'll take the bait. Trust me, Tom.”
“Who is he, Lucas?”
“Do you remember the story I told you the night we got drunk and decided to apply to MI5?”
“The stuff of nightmares. How could I ever forget? Was he part of it? I thought they were all dead.”
“So did I. And in a way he is. He's changed his name, but I'm the only one who's seen his face and knows about his past. And his being identified as a Russian mole by the British Service will be a picnic compared to what will happen to him when his involvement in this whole other business comes to light. He knows there won't be any deals with the Russians to save his skin the way mine was.”
“Shouldn't we tell Annabelle?”
“He won't see her, so there's no need.”
“Lucas.....”
“Leave it, Tom. We can't all have your happy ending.”
“That's the most foolish thing I've ever heard you say. When this is over...”
“When this is over, she'll go back to her old life. And if God is fair, she'll meet and marry someone who's whole and can make her happy.”
“Are you sure that's what she wants? Have you asked her”
“Have you had a real good look at me lately, Tom?”
“I only see someone who's throwing away a once-in-a-lifetime chance to find happiness with a woman who would never judge a book by its cover. I've never thought I'd ever call you a coward, but I can't think of a better word to describe you right now.”
* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~*
Annabelle was still asleep when Tom knock on the door. It was well past ten in the morning and not only was she in bed, she was in the nude.
Rushing to slip on the nightdress that had been discarded the previous night, she did her best to straighten up the sheets and the pillow on which her lover's perfume had lingered as proof that their night hadn't been just a dream. Composed, she allowed Tom in.
She closed her eyes both to savour the fragrance of the freshly-brewed coffee and cover up the embarrassment provoked by the knowledge that Tom must be aware she hadn't slept alone this time.
Hoping her discomfiture wasn't showing on her face, she finally reached for the wicker tray to place it across her lap and met Tom's eyes, seeing an indefinable emotion reflected in them. Overwhelmed by a sudden tightening in her throat, she glanced down to find a tea rose lying next to the cup. I'll remember. Always. She caressed the fragile petals and felt the burning of treacherous tears threatening to roll down her cheeks. The flower was but a reminder of what she knew in her heart. They were loving on borrowed time.
“Bon appetit,” he said gently, stepping out into the corridor and closing the door quietly behind him. He no longer bothered to engage the lock, and it'd been days since the last time he tied her hands. It appeared he'd known her heart even before she did. She wouldn't escape. How could she when she was being held prisoner by her own feelings for the man in the dark?
Once her breakfast was over, she buried her nose in the pillow and inhaled the fragrance she knew she'd be able to recognise years from now. The urge to stay in bed away from the outside world, alone with the memories they'd made, was strong. It was no longer easy to tell right from wrong, to do her duty no questions asked and, for the first time since her abduction, she found herself hoping that Harry and her team would believe her dead. It was preposterous to think she'd be able to return to her old life and pretend. Maybe he'd been right after all, she wasn't cut out to be a spook; she'd never been good at lying. She'd promised a night was all that she wanted from him... Seizing the day would never be enough for someone like you... Even in the dark he knew her heart better than anyone.
* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~*
“Come with me.”
“Did he say yes?” she asked Tom, hating the quiver in her voice.
“He's waiting for you in the library. Annabelle...”
“Take me downstairs, Tom,” she cut him off, fearing she'd break down if he voiced what she'd read in his eyes.
Although the room that seemed to be the mystery man's refuge during his waking hours was just a couple of flights away, it felt as if it lay an ocean away, judging by the way time seemed to drag on until they reached the door.
“Come in,” commanded the voice which never failed to turn her into a quivering mass.
Once again the strategically placed lamp on his desk concealed his identity. Nothing seemed to have changed and yet everything had.
“I can see regret written on your face. I knew you'd have second thoughts come morning... I should have been stronger and left you alone... I'm sorry. I should have...”
“Please, don't,” she interrupted him. “You did nothing I hadn't ask for. We were two consenting adults, and I can't say in all honesty I regret anything about last night. God help me, I would do it again given the chance. It isn't us being together that I regret, never that.”
“If not that then what?” he asked softly.
“I can't go back to whom I was and lie to Harry and everyone who's ever trusted in me by pretending I didn't betray them... I can't pretend there's never been an us... I don't even want to... What does that make me if not a traitor?”
“I've seen betrayal in the face and nothing you've done ever since I met you identifies you as a traitor. You're a survivor. There's no shame in that. You've been abducted, drugged and interrogated for days on end and not once have you done anything you should apologise to Sir Harry or anyone for. “
“I betrayed a colleague. I gave you a name.”
“You gave me nothing I hadn't had already.”
“I don't understand... The picture...”
“I needed to see your reaction and verify that the name he was using wasn't Carter. I had intel from within your very own unit that pointed at you and your former chief of section as FSB moles. Your asset was sold by someone you probably used to sit across from on The Grid too. If you're looking for anyone to blame for treachery, look at Thames House not in the mirror... Annabelle... when this is over, go back to the life you knew before you were recruited. Someone as pure-hearted as you shouldn't be part of Sir Harry's world or mine.”
“Please... why won't you let me see you?” she begged him, eager to see the face of the man whose tenderness and solicitude were so at odds with the image of a ruthless spy and kidnapper.”What are you so afraid of? My hands have already learned you... You're a little above six feet tall. You're broad-shouldered and athletic, though somewhat undernourished for some reason... It makes me wish I were a better cook,” she smiled.”You have long-fingered hands that remind me of a musician's... and you're probably in bad need of a haircut... Although something tells me women would find you attractive even with shoulder-length hair,” she chuckled.
A long silence ensued and, already attuned to his moods, she realised something about her words had affected him in a way she hadn't predicted.
“You've described an idealised version of who you think I am. Dreams are seldom true, Annabelle. They're just that, dreams. I'd hate to see yours shattered.”
“Nothing can change the way you make me feel,” she murmured, wishing she could look into his eyes and read his emotions the way she'd learnt to read the nuances of his voice.
“Annabelle... Soon you'll return to your world and look back at our time together as you would a dream. I'm your jailer and you're my captive held against her will.That's what you'll tell Sir Harry and the world.”
“I'd know that isn't the truth or, at least, not the whole truth.”
“That's between you and me and that's the way it'll stay.”
“These aren't the Middle Ages nor am I a damsel in distress whose virtue needs to be protected.”
“Leave me my dreams of chivalry; it's the only thing I can offer you, Golubushka. Let me give you at least that.”
“Can't you tell me your name?”
“You know I can't. It'd complicate matters even more. My God, Annabelle, it's never been my intention to hurt you.”
“Then don't. I'm a grown-up woman, old enough to make a conscious choice and live with it.”
“You'll hate me when this is all over,.. You deserve better... ”
“I won't hate you. And I'm too flawed to be put on a pedestal.”
“You promised, Annabelle. Your promised it'd be my way.”
“I lied. I would have said yes to anything you asked of me if it meant I could be with you last night.”
* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~* ~*
The sun was setting as she sat on her bed in her favourite nightdress, brushing her long hair and wondering like every night if tonight would be their last.
He'd told her everything would be over soon, that she'd be free, free to go back to her former life. Only she didn't want to be free, not if it meant being away from him.
Would it be so wrong if she decided not to come back and to ask him to take her with him instead? She wasn't her accomplice after all; he hadn't ask her to do anything for him and as long as he didn't demand she betray her people... they wouldn't be hurting anyone.In all probability Harry and her team thought her dead already, so what difference would it make if she stayed dead? No one would need to know the truth.
“Come in,” she said quietly, feeling her heart flutter in her chest.
Annabelle wondered how long she'd been sitting in the shadows, so absorbed had she been in her thoughts. But he'd come to her, despite everything he'd said earlier, and that was the only thing that mattered. And as the door closed behind him, and they found themselves standing just a breath away in the dark, the world outside stopped spinning once again and it was just them.
GO TO IX