Whatever

Sep 04, 2003 18:02

Well not alot happened today @ school. The mouse wasn't in the classroom today which was good because I would have freaked out again haha. Umm lunch was interesting. Sara and Sasha are so weird. I had a crappy lunch the stupid crackers were WHEAT!?! I hate wheat hah. I think I did pretty good on my Spanish test so yea :) Brian was being nice for a change but he only said one thing. Umm I'm waiting for GC to come on tv in an hour which is gonna be cool. I can't wait to go see them in concert. It's gonna be a blast. I talked to Ryan today and I guess he doesn't want to talk to me anymore since I told him how I feel. I feel stupid for not being able to forget about us. I mean we dated for almost 4 months. That's the longest relationship I've had. It was also one of the few times I've had a bf. I always cry about this shit and I know people tell me if he was really that good of a guy he wouldn't make me cry. He made me cry when he was in an accident and then the whole Jenna thing made me cry and breaking up w/him made me cry also. I'm crying right now since I realize that I'm probably always going to be alone....I guess being nice to people and not being a druggie or skank makes me bound to be alone. Ryan always tells me that maybe we shouldn't talk anymore...I can't do that. I'd miss talking to him althought I can't really talk to him about alot of things. Him and Mandy are the only ones who know alot of me. I guess I'm stupid for trusting people. Everytime I seem to bring up things w/Ryan he always just says he's going to go and signs off. Why can't he just tell me what I want to hear? Why does it have to be so hard to be in love. He doesn't want me any more and I can't accept the fact he's moved on while I'm still sitting here crying over him...

Kay
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