(no subject)
So its been about 2 years since I last posted, and I don't know why I decided to go on here all of a sudden. Hmm maybe because my girlfriend was reading some of her journal entries to me a couple days ago, and I guess it inspired me to check up on my journal to see whats up. Ok so here is something I was typing at work today, and I guess I will just add it here, might as well hehe:
So I was thinking about different viewpoints people
have on the world, and I have never really realized how different my viewpoint is from others until I got with my gf, mainly because the way she sees the
world is so different from how I see it. She has this viewpoint that was probably instilled in her by her parents. It is common I guess in this world, but basically it has to do with always having a suspicious attitude and never trusting anyone. She was raised in a negative environment with this notion of always being on the look out because people are always trying to get at you or take advantage of you. The habits she has of always making sure to lock the doors and her anal way of
making sure all the curtains are drawn so no one
can see inside...
Like okay i understand where people with this attitude are coming from, but what if you were effected so badly by all these negative experiences that your mind automatically created this system of beliefs that
isnt completely accurate but its accurate to you because of what you experienced(aka that the world is bad because people in it have hurt you so bad,that you can't trust anyone because they will always let you down, blah blah) but what really
is the truth about the world? Like for me, I beleive all people are inherantly good, and that people
just give in to temptation and choose to continue to circle of hatred and violence because it was
what happened to them, when really the right thing to do is to continue to love and give and trust
despite what you have been through, because this is the only way for the cycle to stop...Its a very
difficult thing to do but I believe it is the only way to spread the right message, one of peace and
love instead of mistrust, hatred, suspicion, paranoia and this whole fearful way of thinking that everyone is out to get you.
Hence i think that this is why many people give up on love, because they have been cheated or hurt in
the past, and they think this is how the world works, which in a way it is, but they dont see the whole
picture, that love takes sacrifice and it involves pain and patience...and many people who refuse to
accept this, or simply can't because they don't understand it, end up being miserable and thinking that
love is evil and that they can never find the right person.Of course when you are in the middle of
it, of all the pain and despair it is hard to keep that hope in your heart, but its important to
remember it is there because it may be the only thing that keeps you going and keeps your heart open
to giving and accepting the love you so desperately want.
For me at this time in my life, I am so lucky to have found someone to share my life with, and even though
I know there are no guarantees in life, in my heart I choose to live out my fantasy of having this person
with me for the rest of my life. In reality I know this is not somethin I know for sure, but I know that
at this time, there is no one else that I want to be with. Every relationship has its issues, and mine is
no exception. But I think that I have come a long way and I accept that there will be hardships along
the way. My partner is such a beautiful person...the love I have for her exceeds and continues to surpass
all of my wildest expectations. I never thought I would love again since my last relationship, but I
have learned that fate works in mysterious ways...and I have continued to keep hope in my heart.
RIght now Im in a really good place...finally working at my career and finishing off the last of my
schoolwork, more or less financially stable and living on my own, grateful for having wonderful friends
by my side, and appreciative of having an amazingly supportive family.
There are still things I want to work on and goals I want to achieve, as there always will be, but right
now I can truly say I am happy. Happy and grateful I have been blessed with such a wonderful life.
So I was thinking about different viewpoints people
have on the world, and I have never really realized how different my viewpoint is from others until I got with my gf, mainly because the way she sees the
world is so different from how I see it. She has this viewpoint that was probably instilled in her by her parents. It is common I guess in this world, but basically it has to do with always having a suspicious attitude and never trusting anyone. She was raised in a negative environment with this notion of always being on the look out because people are always trying to get at you or take advantage of you. The habits she has of always making sure to lock the doors and her anal way of
making sure all the curtains are drawn so no one
can see inside...
Like okay i understand where people with this attitude are coming from, but what if you were effected so badly by all these negative experiences that your mind automatically created this system of beliefs that
isnt completely accurate but its accurate to you because of what you experienced(aka that the world is bad because people in it have hurt you so bad,that you can't trust anyone because they will always let you down, blah blah) but what really
is the truth about the world? Like for me, I beleive all people are inherantly good, and that people
just give in to temptation and choose to continue to circle of hatred and violence because it was
what happened to them, when really the right thing to do is to continue to love and give and trust
despite what you have been through, because this is the only way for the cycle to stop...Its a very
difficult thing to do but I believe it is the only way to spread the right message, one of peace and
love instead of mistrust, hatred, suspicion, paranoia and this whole fearful way of thinking that everyone is out to get you.
Hence i think that this is why many people give up on love, because they have been cheated or hurt in
the past, and they think this is how the world works, which in a way it is, but they dont see the whole
picture, that love takes sacrifice and it involves pain and patience...and many people who refuse to
accept this, or simply can't because they don't understand it, end up being miserable and thinking that
love is evil and that they can never find the right person.Of course when you are in the middle of
it, of all the pain and despair it is hard to keep that hope in your heart, but its important to
remember it is there because it may be the only thing that keeps you going and keeps your heart open
to giving and accepting the love you so desperately want.
For me at this time in my life, I am so lucky to have found someone to share my life with, and even though
I know there are no guarantees in life, in my heart I choose to live out my fantasy of having this person
with me for the rest of my life. In reality I know this is not somethin I know for sure, but I know that
at this time, there is no one else that I want to be with. Every relationship has its issues, and mine is
no exception. But I think that I have come a long way and I accept that there will be hardships along
the way. My partner is such a beautiful person...the love I have for her exceeds and continues to surpass
all of my wildest expectations. I never thought I would love again since my last relationship, but I
have learned that fate works in mysterious ways...and I have continued to keep hope in my heart.
RIght now Im in a really good place...finally working at my career and finishing off the last of my
schoolwork, more or less financially stable and living on my own, grateful for having wonderful friends
by my side, and appreciative of having an amazingly supportive family.
There are still things I want to work on and goals I want to achieve, as there always will be, but right
now I can truly say I am happy. Happy and grateful I have been blessed with such a wonderful life.