too cold to cry
nothing new to say
it didn't take long for my body to slip into shock at the complete lack of anything green or colorful, no sunshine i wish i wasn't here or anywhere in the u.s. these fucking states where we just keep popping out babies for no other reason than to ignore them and create an enormous unspoken mass of conforming flesh feeling useless because here's the truth kids the ugly truth you won't hear in school you are of absolutely no use to anything except companies who want to make money off of you and keep you in a state of apprehension about not being adequate and you will never be not if you spent millions and billions on all of the bullshit on the shelves because the only way you can redeem yourself for having being born and using up so many dwindling resources is to a)kill yourself and take out a couple dozen others with you (preferably go to a large shopping mall or britney spears concert) or b)become a super-human and lay it down like it is and inspire the masses to save the earth and our race before we blow the whole damn thing to bits. and the thing that hurts the most is the exquisite burning of true all-encompassing unconditional love and beauty that is truth. makes you forget everything else, makes it all seem like dust on the bottom of your foot. but that doesn't make it all go away, because it won't and in fact will most likely be what does us all in in the end. stupidity fear and laziness.
my explanation is that i was in an ideal green friendly sunshiney place without a care in the world and now i find myself in the midst of a very grey rainy cold dead dead dead dead dead winter in the god-blessed united states of america and i remember why i almost killed myself and get severely depressed every winter. ah, but it really isn't about me. it's about this fucked up world we've found ourselves in without asking to. sometimes . . i could live forever and save the world with my love. sometimes i could do just the opposite. either way, it's a case of serious lack of motivation on my part.
time already to travel south
it didn't take long for my body to slip into shock at the complete lack of anything green or colorful, no sunshine i wish i wasn't here or anywhere in the u.s. these fucking states where we just keep popping out babies for no other reason than to ignore them and create an enormous unspoken mass of conforming flesh feeling useless because here's the truth kids the ugly truth you won't hear in school you are of absolutely no use to anything except companies who want to make money off of you and keep you in a state of apprehension about not being adequate and you will never be not if you spent millions and billions on all of the bullshit on the shelves because the only way you can redeem yourself for having being born and using up so many dwindling resources is to a)kill yourself and take out a couple dozen others with you (preferably go to a large shopping mall or britney spears concert) or b)become a super-human and lay it down like it is and inspire the masses to save the earth and our race before we blow the whole damn thing to bits. and the thing that hurts the most is the exquisite burning of true all-encompassing unconditional love and beauty that is truth. makes you forget everything else, makes it all seem like dust on the bottom of your foot. but that doesn't make it all go away, because it won't and in fact will most likely be what does us all in in the end. stupidity fear and laziness.
my explanation is that i was in an ideal green friendly sunshiney place without a care in the world and now i find myself in the midst of a very grey rainy cold dead dead dead dead dead winter in the god-blessed united states of america and i remember why i almost killed myself and get severely depressed every winter. ah, but it really isn't about me. it's about this fucked up world we've found ourselves in without asking to. sometimes . . i could live forever and save the world with my love. sometimes i could do just the opposite. either way, it's a case of serious lack of motivation on my part.
time already to travel south