hello
so its a new year, you know the new year has never had any sigifigance for me, it isn't even what i judge the year on. they year has always been when school starts and closes. its not a new year when your still in the same catagory, sophomore for me, and you have another 5 months before it is over.
seriously though who counts the new year as the new year what does it hold? nothing really changes on the 1st of january. still dating the same guy, still have the same friends, sill live the same place i truly do not get how it is a new year, to me it just seems an extension of the day before.
it does give me a chance to reflect on all that has happened in the first 1/2 of my year. and it gives me a chance to ponder without being to melodramatic. that i appreciate
ponders:
1. where are me and will headed..god i look up across the room and my prom pictures are there and the only ones you see are the ones of me and will, that guy that i took to my prom, isnt there, bc the week before with will is what i counted emotionally. my senior year he's back again and although wer dont look as cosey in that picture its a closeness that comes from desperation the hope that we will be, but both of us are to scared to say anything so he just puts his arms around me and smiles, and then we dance so we have an excuse to touch. now obviously almost two years after that second photo was taken i dont need that excuse, i can just go up to him and hold him or kiss him and there is no emotional fear, the only fear now is that i love him and wiht that come all the fun additions tacked on to the future
2. my career....i want to be an officer i need to run better but i get pissed that hte fact that i suck at running is going to determine if i have the right motivations to make me an officer, i'd die for my country but thats sadly not enough...bugger
3.im just worried for people around me two of the most important people to me are having choices laid ahead of them, i'd say more but its not my laundry...
4. i just miss a best friend- didnt plan to type it but oh well, i've been at lsu for two years and simlpe fact was that if i was dumped tomorrow i'd be shot emotionally, i dont have a close friend there, maybe i just dont open up as well, or what i think is i truly dont have the time that it takes to make a best friend. julie and i have become close but only time will tell if we can be more than semester friends, i just miss having someone to call and vent to who can come over and bake brownies or go shopping or hell i dont know anything
happy new year all
seriously though who counts the new year as the new year what does it hold? nothing really changes on the 1st of january. still dating the same guy, still have the same friends, sill live the same place i truly do not get how it is a new year, to me it just seems an extension of the day before.
it does give me a chance to reflect on all that has happened in the first 1/2 of my year. and it gives me a chance to ponder without being to melodramatic. that i appreciate
ponders:
1. where are me and will headed..god i look up across the room and my prom pictures are there and the only ones you see are the ones of me and will, that guy that i took to my prom, isnt there, bc the week before with will is what i counted emotionally. my senior year he's back again and although wer dont look as cosey in that picture its a closeness that comes from desperation the hope that we will be, but both of us are to scared to say anything so he just puts his arms around me and smiles, and then we dance so we have an excuse to touch. now obviously almost two years after that second photo was taken i dont need that excuse, i can just go up to him and hold him or kiss him and there is no emotional fear, the only fear now is that i love him and wiht that come all the fun additions tacked on to the future
2. my career....i want to be an officer i need to run better but i get pissed that hte fact that i suck at running is going to determine if i have the right motivations to make me an officer, i'd die for my country but thats sadly not enough...bugger
3.im just worried for people around me two of the most important people to me are having choices laid ahead of them, i'd say more but its not my laundry...
4. i just miss a best friend- didnt plan to type it but oh well, i've been at lsu for two years and simlpe fact was that if i was dumped tomorrow i'd be shot emotionally, i dont have a close friend there, maybe i just dont open up as well, or what i think is i truly dont have the time that it takes to make a best friend. julie and i have become close but only time will tell if we can be more than semester friends, i just miss having someone to call and vent to who can come over and bake brownies or go shopping or hell i dont know anything
happy new year all