....cause you're the only song I want to hear...
Was it all worth it? The experiences I had, the stories I now have to tell, the lessons I learned, the innocence I lost...was it worth what I gave up?
Stability, comfort, security, worry-free...sacrificed for adventure, living for the moment, recklessness, drama...it has now given way to doubt, nervousness, insecurity, and fear.
Have I destroyed me only chance at happiness? Or have I done what is right by letting my guard down and embracing spontaneous moments?
The future looms so dangeriously near, complete with more to experience and understand. But the past still feels so close, I can almost reach out and touch it, bring it back to me.
Now I have this huge span of time in front of me, all the things I can accomplish or fail miserably at. But I keep looking back. No matter what I do, I cannot focus on the present. I only worry about the future or stress about the past.
People tell me I'll be ok. This is natural for me to feel like this. I am a senior with mere months till I graduate, am forced to find a career, not a job, but something to support myself financially so that I can pay back the $100,000 in debt that I have accumulated. I need a Masters degree but do not have the money to get one at this point, therefore I will have to seek out a job that will accept a bachelor's degree in psychology, andddd there are pretty much none. This weighs on my mind every day. This coupled with my numerous family issues, boy issues, the stress of classes + internship + 3 jobs + maintaining a social life + coordinator of 2 programs + keeping my gpa above 3.89 + homework + paying bills...gahhhh it makes me crazy.I want to be a sophmore in college again so bad...that was by far the easiest, best year. No worries, still 2 years till graduation, not that far in debt yet, your major sounds terrific and even if it isn't, you don't need to worry about that yet...
So maybe it is natural to be worried at this point in my life. I'm experiencing what countless other college seniors face. But it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. It doesn't mean that I can just stop hoping for the past. It doesn't mean I can not focus on mistakes and wonder if I will regret them too much.
I NEED this long weekend. I need to refocus, relax, and rejuvinate. I need to bring my more optimistic, less worrisome self back into the picture.
And I do believe it's true
That there are roads left in both of our shoes
And if the silence takes you, then I hope it takes me too
So *blue* eyes I'll hold you near
'Cause you're the only song I want to hear
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere
Stability, comfort, security, worry-free...sacrificed for adventure, living for the moment, recklessness, drama...it has now given way to doubt, nervousness, insecurity, and fear.
Have I destroyed me only chance at happiness? Or have I done what is right by letting my guard down and embracing spontaneous moments?
The future looms so dangeriously near, complete with more to experience and understand. But the past still feels so close, I can almost reach out and touch it, bring it back to me.
Now I have this huge span of time in front of me, all the things I can accomplish or fail miserably at. But I keep looking back. No matter what I do, I cannot focus on the present. I only worry about the future or stress about the past.
People tell me I'll be ok. This is natural for me to feel like this. I am a senior with mere months till I graduate, am forced to find a career, not a job, but something to support myself financially so that I can pay back the $100,000 in debt that I have accumulated. I need a Masters degree but do not have the money to get one at this point, therefore I will have to seek out a job that will accept a bachelor's degree in psychology, andddd there are pretty much none. This weighs on my mind every day. This coupled with my numerous family issues, boy issues, the stress of classes + internship + 3 jobs + maintaining a social life + coordinator of 2 programs + keeping my gpa above 3.89 + homework + paying bills...gahhhh it makes me crazy.I want to be a sophmore in college again so bad...that was by far the easiest, best year. No worries, still 2 years till graduation, not that far in debt yet, your major sounds terrific and even if it isn't, you don't need to worry about that yet...
So maybe it is natural to be worried at this point in my life. I'm experiencing what countless other college seniors face. But it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. It doesn't mean that I can just stop hoping for the past. It doesn't mean I can not focus on mistakes and wonder if I will regret them too much.
I NEED this long weekend. I need to refocus, relax, and rejuvinate. I need to bring my more optimistic, less worrisome self back into the picture.
And I do believe it's true
That there are roads left in both of our shoes
And if the silence takes you, then I hope it takes me too
So *blue* eyes I'll hold you near
'Cause you're the only song I want to hear
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere