well
ok its fuckin 5 am and I cant sleep. What is on my mind? hmmm... I'm am unexplainably down lately and for the first time EVER I skipped alomst an entire week of class. WTF!? honestly I just dont know anymore. I mean I dont feel depressed and I dont act depressed. Something else thats on my brain, him. I cant think about him with out my blood boiling. I cant see a picture of him with out getting seriously nauseated. Not because he disgusting but, I get that bent out of shape about him. Why did things go down the way they did. I mean when I see him just by chance the tension is so strong you could cut it with a knife, so as Jessica put it. I dont know why. Its not like we dated or anything. hmm... I dont get it. why? I just want to be able to deal with this. I cant believe that I am SO bent out of shape about this. I mean its more irratating that Pete being "in love" with his new gf. I mean what the fuck was I? a joke? eh whatever, hes happy. period.
I havent done anything outragiously stupid in a while. Thats great for me. And I got myself out of a bad situation last night while I was piss drunk. Thats good too. I mean things seemed to be so perfect for a matter of like 2 weeks. You will always have to give something to get something. I have a better social life and I'm better with my sisters but my "love" life blows. So since my social life went up my education drops. WTF?
I need someone to tag my butt to make sure I get to class. I have lost all physical motivation to do anything. That in itself is depressing. Right now I kid you not that I want to just cry. I dont know why exactly but I want to just bawl myself to sleep.
what can I do to fix this shit? I swear I dug myself a damn grave somehow and I cant seem to find a way out of it. I feel helpless. Being a Leo and just being me, I dont like feeling helpless.
I want my mommy =(
yeah kids, that came out of my mouth.
I seriously thought about driving 3 hours to Clinton TWP to see her and I'd have to drive back 7 hours later....
something is seriously wrong when I think like that.
I havent done anything outragiously stupid in a while. Thats great for me. And I got myself out of a bad situation last night while I was piss drunk. Thats good too. I mean things seemed to be so perfect for a matter of like 2 weeks. You will always have to give something to get something. I have a better social life and I'm better with my sisters but my "love" life blows. So since my social life went up my education drops. WTF?
I need someone to tag my butt to make sure I get to class. I have lost all physical motivation to do anything. That in itself is depressing. Right now I kid you not that I want to just cry. I dont know why exactly but I want to just bawl myself to sleep.
what can I do to fix this shit? I swear I dug myself a damn grave somehow and I cant seem to find a way out of it. I feel helpless. Being a Leo and just being me, I dont like feeling helpless.
I want my mommy =(
yeah kids, that came out of my mouth.
I seriously thought about driving 3 hours to Clinton TWP to see her and I'd have to drive back 7 hours later....
something is seriously wrong when I think like that.