(no subject)
i am so absolutely stunned and crushed by everything that has happened to me today. funny how easily people can fuck you over, both strangers and friends. funny how confused i am about every single thing in my life. funny how i don't know if things will ever go back to normal with my parents; i've messed up i guess.
the only thing left to do is watch everything subside, and hopefully learn to just stop thinking. if i can stop doing what i have been doing, maybe nothing will ever phase me again; and if nothing ever touches me again, maybe this feeling in my stomach will leave me and i will become what everyone is telling me to become, and to act the way one without manic, over-thinking, over-caring emotions should act.
regardless of how great this weekend was-thanks to good friends and drag queens- i feel completly drained. it is amazing how the human being is able to emotionally heal over time, too bad it takes so fucking long. im gonna call cwot and then sleep and sleep considering i got 3 hours last night/morning.
sorry to vent kids. actually no im not. its my fucking blog.
edit: i now know why i've felt sick all day as well. ive been drinking water with a lil clorox in it thanks to the insane mother. mmmmm
"i'm sure you needed the clean-out lily"-love, dad.
the only thing left to do is watch everything subside, and hopefully learn to just stop thinking. if i can stop doing what i have been doing, maybe nothing will ever phase me again; and if nothing ever touches me again, maybe this feeling in my stomach will leave me and i will become what everyone is telling me to become, and to act the way one without manic, over-thinking, over-caring emotions should act.
regardless of how great this weekend was-thanks to good friends and drag queens- i feel completly drained. it is amazing how the human being is able to emotionally heal over time, too bad it takes so fucking long. im gonna call cwot and then sleep and sleep considering i got 3 hours last night/morning.
sorry to vent kids. actually no im not. its my fucking blog.
edit: i now know why i've felt sick all day as well. ive been drinking water with a lil clorox in it thanks to the insane mother. mmmmm
"i'm sure you needed the clean-out lily"-love, dad.