(no subject)
This entry will probably be short, but my mom thinks that with me being so emotional lately that trying to keep up with my journal is a very good thing. It is just getting harder. I feel like I throw up ever fifth or sixth meal I eat. I know I'm loosing wait. They have tracked that at the doctors office. I've lost almost 10 pounds. They said that sometimes it is normal to start loosing before you start gaining when you are pregnant. I don't know. Even though I'm loosing wait, I'm not getting any thinner. Actually, the only things I can get to fit me are sweat pants, jogging pants, and PJ bottoms. No normal pants fit me any more.
Mostly getting sick/ loosing wait is affecting how strong I feel. Or rather, how weak I feel. I feel frail. It is hard for me to sit or stand for long with out my legs starting to hurt or feeling weak and dizzy. I'm so tired of laying around in bed, though; my neck and back are really beginning to hurt.
All of this is frustrating and making me really depressed and moody. I'm afraid to feel happy about the baby, so I keep switching between anger, depression, and being really nervous. Despite how horrible I feel like I'm being, Kip seems to be coming around a little more. He's being helpful. He's trying to be attentive. If I am crying he'll come comfort me. If I'm hungry he often brings me food. I'm proud of him. (But I'm almost afraid to say all this. I'm afraid to jinx a good thing.)
I'm beginning to get woozy so I'm going to go lay down.
But before I go I have to say one thing. I'm getting sick and tired of hearing about Anna Nicole Smith.
Mostly getting sick/ loosing wait is affecting how strong I feel. Or rather, how weak I feel. I feel frail. It is hard for me to sit or stand for long with out my legs starting to hurt or feeling weak and dizzy. I'm so tired of laying around in bed, though; my neck and back are really beginning to hurt.
All of this is frustrating and making me really depressed and moody. I'm afraid to feel happy about the baby, so I keep switching between anger, depression, and being really nervous. Despite how horrible I feel like I'm being, Kip seems to be coming around a little more. He's being helpful. He's trying to be attentive. If I am crying he'll come comfort me. If I'm hungry he often brings me food. I'm proud of him. (But I'm almost afraid to say all this. I'm afraid to jinx a good thing.)
I'm beginning to get woozy so I'm going to go lay down.
But before I go I have to say one thing. I'm getting sick and tired of hearing about Anna Nicole Smith.