(no subject)
So apparently I might only have 2 and a half years to live. Didn't quite see that coming but at the same time I never pictured my life past the age of 25. I dreamt it one night. A doctor told me I had the dreaded AIDS and had two and a half years to live. I started crying and thought of all the people I'd had to confront. I started to wake up but halfway out of REM sleep I still believed the dream was a realy memory and felt truly upset, but then the fog cleared and I realised it wasn't real, it was only a dream and I had a long life ahead of me, and that thought was even more upsetting. Now, I think the dream wasn't facing a fear, it might have been a proper message.
Since returning from the most amazing holiday at Splasy fen, I've been having vivid, crazy 'it-felt-so-real' dreams. I will note deny the fact that excessive alcohol intake, late dinners and watching too much Fringe and Supernatural had something to do with it. Also, my sister and I believe there is a 'presence' in my little apartment. A black shadow that doesn't stick to the wall, and enjoys hovering over a person. I've seen it once but wrote it off to too many painkillers and too little sleep. Just your average hallucination and didn't bother telling anyone. Then a few months later my sister slept over and saw the same thing.
The thing about the religion I was raised in, and left as soon as I had the chance, is they acknowledge spirits and dreams they just don't have a fancy ritual to deal with it unlike the Catholic church. They don't do seances or ouji boards, they do prayers and apparently that's all you need.
So my dad, still heavily into his religion, tells me he'll watch over us when he dies. I asked him nicely not to haunt me and he said it didn't work that way. In his afterlife, he act as a guiding spirit the same way other ghosts guide him. It was a nice subject to get onto but hardly appropriate for my little sisters 18th. So anywho, I told him, I had a funny dream that a doctor told me that I had two, and a half, years to live. Without skipping a beat my dad responds to this with, 'then you can watch over me'. No 'don't be silly, it was just a dream', no "we will make sure you have longer to live", just absolute faith that dreams have meanings and this one was not metaphorical. Thanks dad. I can say I'm not afraid of dying, actually the thought of quitting this life and moving on is sometimes a comfort. This world is not all it's cracked up to be.
Cue 'The Bucket List'