(ooc Discussion)
On a completely out of character note, I'm always curious to explore various topics. I was thinking of putting up a few posts to see if people would be interested in sharing in these discussions/and our put in their two cents. I will merely present a topic and from there, we discuss. There is no right or wrong answers. Just as a someone still
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(From here on "you" does NOT mean you, Baksi! Or anyone. And I'm sorry, it got kind of stream-of consciousness and long. Which is why I don't often answer on these threads. I talk WAY too much
I have the "welcome thoroughly negotiated trouble" setting.
I can't help but feel that people take this as a sign that I want to avoid trouble, or that I will be hard to deal with. Which is entirely not the case.
I'd LIKE trouble. I'd LOVE to get pulled into something dramatic and weird and wonderful and probably painful. I love to poke at areas that hurt my characters physically, emotionally or mentally, so that they can experience and grow. And when I get into a good scene that offers that, my character will generally go for maximum effect. Beat me, hurt me, drive me insane! Bring it on!
I have that setting mostly so that, if I have plans to do something specific tomorrow, someone doesn't come along and, say, put me into the hospital today and steal my organized playtime with another group away. What I want is not to avoid or pull back from conflict or trouble, but to manage my playtime effectively and to be prepare for a general idea of what might be coming my way, so that I can get the most out of it.
OK, yes, there are things that I tend to want to avoid or squirrel out of, and in most places I try to do that IC rather than OOC, but there are some things that might trigger an OOC response that I don't want brought into the game.* I think that OOC communication is a good safety-net to make sure that people enjoy the trouble on both sides. If you're causing it, wouldn't you rather your "victim" to be a bit of a masochist and OOC love every moment of the hassle though IC they hate it all - rather than OOC wondering why you're such an ass and won't leave them alone? This IS supposed to be fun for us all.
Communication of wants/needs/desires is as important in play set-up, in my opinion, as it is in RL. Without it, you don't know who is having fun and who is miserable. Once a foundation of understanding is set up, then you're free to really push to the limits and see how far you can take it all. Whee!
Of course, this assumes a maturity level of understanding that, yes, I can push, but they're allowed to push back, and there will be consequences for my actions.
I do have to give a little "Bless you, bless you, bless you!" to the player who actually DID contact me about some potential upcoming Trouble the other day. Because they were the first to ever do so since last May or so when I started here. It honestly made my day, and I hope something nasty happens soon!
I'm not entirely sure I understand Storybuilding, because why spend focus to do something (which to my mind is STILL OOC comminication) that you can do for free with some OOC chit-chat. But then I haven't really been pulled into anything highly charged or political, so I can't really speak.
*It can be totally random and situational. I had to cancel a perfectly ordinary scene of a clothing fitting because of a concurrent RL custom clothing order that turned bizarrely hostile. To play a lighthearted scene at that time would have been possible IC, but would have OOC torn me up with anxiety and a sense of victimization. The other player would have had no idea. Conversely, at that same time, someone could have attacked my character, beaten her senseless, and tortured her insane, and I would have loved every minute of it! People Are SO Weird.
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In the case of Storybuilding specifically, staff is involved, and receives notification at every step along the way. That is the big difference between 'Storybuilding' and 'just talking it out like adults'.
Of course, even reasonable adults can differ on what constitutes reasonable communication, including what is an acceptable style of argument. I used to have my +trouble set to the same number yours is, until the day I attempted to 'thoroughly negotiate trouble first' and was shut out by somebody who apparently felt this to be unnecessary, disruptive to a scene, or otherwise inappropriate. Now maybe my method of communication was not perceived as reasonable - it's actually possible that I was *not* being reasonable, given things like involuntarily adrenaline effects. However the end result was that I became even more guarded about engaging in Trouble, and set my +trouble meter to represent that.
And you know what? I'll bet every single person involved felt they were being reasonable. I'm further willing to bet that everyone involved felt entirely justified in their position, and no doubt from each party's perspective, they *were*. This is why...Storybuilding. I think. It gives a (presumably) objective 3rd party the chance to say "Hey now, wait, this isn't productive" or "I think it would be useful to do X" and "Have you considered that alternative" and so on.
But ...it does cost. AND I've still never seen anybody use it.
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(you is used in lieu of anyone reading this)
As for what is and isn't reasonable, I would suggest just a couple things: 1) take a deep breath and remember above anything else... this is a game. A collaborative one where we're here to have fun. So nothing that is done is 'permanent'. 2) That said, I would suggest a compromise. Reasonable is different for each person, but sometimes you just need a really good compromise. It is the the "my way or the highway," that usually makes me cringe. It is up there with mom going "just cause..." 3) Never fear, you'r friends are here, Darling. When you are in such a situation. Don't be afraid to get advice. People have been really supportive, that I've seen, on RTA. You just need to poke someone and go "egads! I'm not sure what to do here... help!!"
Now that said, these are merely suggestions. We always find our own way of dealing with matters, and it isn't the same for everyone. Just remember, you're not alone. We're all here for fun and games.
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I love the way you think, Molly. (another stream of consciousness writer here as well). Trouble drives story. Conflicts allow a means to let that character to develop, good or bad. So trouble ratings are good in that regard, but I think people should always have a means to ‘opt’ out. Like one of my friends from another game, when they’re not comfortable, I don’t ask them to do something that would further push them into that territory.
Now don’t get me wrong. I love trouble. There is a character right now who intends on our characters getting in a world of hurt to do something cool. I don’t shy away but go “Yeehaw!” It is when people feel that your character’s actions are somehow a slight on the player. Don’t get me wrong, I think there are times we can all slip into this mentality if we’re caught on a bad day… but I don’t think anyone is out to get anyone else. I think we all come here for a good time, and nothing else. Story is Key. (Remind me to show you a link that was shared with me… totally changed how I saw Mushing. I’m currently trapped at work or I would post it.)
Just remember you have a higher chance of seeing a pig launched out of catapult first… especially knowing my friends (No pigs have/will be hurt in such an experiment, save the cute plushy ones), than the likelihood that I, personally, would be out to ruin someone else’s good time OOCly.
I call it the Great IC/OOC divide and came from a game where it was blurred very badly by one of our younger players. She felt that the rest of the game should play “her way” and wasn’t above telling them so… often and at length (see: Reasons why I left my last mush, if you’re curious. If you can’t find it… ask away). We are here to have Good Times and Fun! This is our first priority and personally, I love RP with everybody. Everyone has a story to tell, and I’d like to see how they all unfold. Peril is right in saying that if we tried to further another’s story, then our own becomes more interesting.
Now boundaries, I believe they differ for everyone. Heck, they can differ from character to character, even. But people should always have a choice on how involved they wish to become. One night of bad RP (your mind not in it, kids driving you bonkers, or finding out your best friend may have been in a car accident - and you’re sitting there waiting to find out what the heck is going on)*, shouldn’t condemn your character to reconcilable differences that basically say, “suck it up, BaBee.” Not to say that you can’t have consequences, but not everyone enjoys going to extremes. I see this as an opportunity to approach the player and see what they may find to be reasonable or even a good compromise.
Communication, like story, is important. Ask, Speak, and Communicate! It is like when a RL emergency happens and you have to bail. RL happens… often. I usually have them off to do some “heroic” deed while they’re off dealing with RL matters. Everyone handles this differently as well.
Now that said, I personally would love to become more involved in other people’s stories, and often try every time the opportunity presents itself. I know other players who are like this as well. The glimpse that we see on LJ is like a log on other games. It allows you to see into another’s world for a moment and go, “Wow, I’d really like to RP with that person.” I feel that way with everyone on RTA. Story and communication are the best way of handling that. So a round about way to get back to the initial response, did I mention that I was stream of consciousness too?
* Yes, one or more of these may have happened to someone. Sometimes it is easier to sign on and deal with friendly people while you’re worrying a hole in the carpet. Not to say it is right or wrong, but can really help to keep your sanity.
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