moar sims 3
ELISSA: You're up early. I thought we were going to spoon. Dammit.
LOGHAIN: I do not know these things of which you speak. Pancake?
ALISTAIR: Hello, fellow Warden. I mean cop colleague.
ELISSA: Yes, yes. So, you are not a prude, are you?
ALISTAIR: Not that I know.
(He is Hal Breckenridge, FYI, a town slut.)
ELISSA: Come here.
ALISTAIR: So we are just randomly snogging?
ELISSA: Yup.
ALISTAIR: Right... Why is that angry man staring at us?
ELISSA: Oh, never mind him.
ALISTAIR: I'm going to... go.
LOGHAIN: I CAN'T SEE OR HEAR YOU. LALALALA.
But, despite his Brave (and Scowling) Exterior, he is not amused.
LILITH: What was that all about?
ELISSA: I just want someone to lay me down gingerly in the Deep Roads of our bedroom! *sad lips of sadness *
LILITH: Aw, if it's any consolation, you might get around to sleep with him in about 567 chapters of that fanf-
ELISSA: I swear I will cut you, bitch.
*
But then they make up. Again.
LOGHAIN: I am a sceptic. But I shall agree to hold your hand in this manner.
LOGHAIN: And I might give you a chaste kiss. Like this.
LOGHAIN: And I might-
ELISSA: Narrating your snogging? Not so sexy.
LOGHAIN. Aha!
It also helps that Elissa gets promoted.
LOGHAIN: I have always liked dominant and powerful women.
ELISSA: Funny how I've always been just that, but still I have not seen you naked.
LOGHAIN: All in good time, my dear. All in good time.
ELISSA: OMG! *jumps on him *
ELISSA: I AM ATTRACTED TO LOGHAIN!
NEIGHBOUR: ...
LILITH: Oh, Elissa. You know, between the two of us - outside of a very particular corner of fandom, this is not a Friendly Social Action. Think of the world outside as the majority of the members of DAO fandom. They like Alistair. They do not like Loghain.
ELISSA: CLEARLY THEY ARE INSANE!
LOGHAIN: What now?
ELISSA: What?
LOGHAIN: WHAT IS YOUR PURPOSE?
ELISSA: Eh, sitting?
ELISSA: See, this isn't scary, is it?
LOGHAIN: I am tentatively happy.
(AWWWWW)
ELISSA: Kiss?
LOGHAIN: I KNEW IT!
LOGHAIN: BEGONE FOUL CREATURE!!!!!!
ELISSA: Loghain...
LOGHAIN: I SAID BEGONE!
So they share another night without touching.
LILITH: Oh god, I love you both.
ELISSA: I am DISAPPOINT with this lack of sex.
ELISSA: So... now that we have been kissing and slept beside each other for a very, very, very long time, I figured we could perhaps take the next step.
LOGHAIN: *warily * That depends...
ELISSA: Omg, wannagosteadywithme, yes/yes?
He wants to. Duh.
But he wouldn't be Loghain if he didn't also express... doubt.
That very night, they attempt the couch thing again.
ELISSA: So now that we're officially a couple you can put out?
LOGHAIN: Pretty much, yes.
ELISSA: You have got to stop watching the romance channel.
Here Loghain has skilfully used the “whisper in ear” option, closely followed by “stroke cheek” and then seductively proposed a risky game of “woohoo”.
Granted, Elissa would have slept with a rock at this point.
Awwww.
AWWWW.
By then the two Wardens had earned so much gold by putting all of their pent-up needs into their work, that they had a bit cash to spare. Loghain, true to his character and nature, suggested a small invasion of Paris, Sim!France. Elissa thought this was a splendid idea!
(What, you expect logic from this?)
Next time: FRANCE!