hearts are breaking

[lilian_in_me]

When you have finally chosen who you are - a victim or a criminal, that's where the adventure begins. Choosing the role is one thing, keeping up to it is another. You can say that you are a maneater and a heartbreaker, but if you have no proof for that - I mean, loads of broken hearts and ruined lover-lives behind your back - who needs all these stories? Watch your back and work on creating a proper image - play with people - tell them the things they want to hear, then say that you have changed your mind; smile back at them when they expect it, then say that you just remembered a good joke and that's it; promise the things you are not planning to do, then say that they must have misunderstood you; tell them you don't really feel that they are interested in you, then say that you don't want to be harrassed and abused.

You gotta play with their feelings all the time, every single second of your life you should be planning a new sabotage, or a new heart-breaking thing to present them at the end of the day. You should never let go, and never let them forget who is the master and who is the servant. The role is hard, but the feeling of being on the top of dammit mountain of broken hearts must be good..

The only thing - never relax, because one day the payback is going to be served. Since you are playing with fire, one day you will inevitably lose the control over it, and it will just burn down your house, your heart which you thought to be frozen forever, and all your hopes for recovery.

So, do stand on your pedestal while you can afford it. Do it until you fall in love and break down yourself.