Five Times Tommy Made Adam Cry (and One Time He Did It Again)
Title: Five Times Tommy Made Adam Cry (and One Time He Did It Again)
Author: lilian_angel
Beta: bloody_lee
Rating: R
Pairing/Characters: Adam/Tommy
Warnings: None
Note: Posting this without a proper native language beta. Hope it's still somewhat understandable.
Five Times Tommy Made Adam Cry (and One Time He Did It Again)
The first time is almost not worth mentioning. It is right after he hired Tommy and he is just so happy. For getting his own band, his own tour, for finally living the dream.
So it isn’t really because of Tommy, but it still counts, in a way at least. It is dark and he is alone in his bed and the tears fall so much easier in the depth of night. So he just lets go of all the emotions that he kept bottled up inside of him since even before Idol. He cries, long and hard and oh so very good.
When the sun peeks through his bedroom curtains he feels somewhat lighter, as though a weight has been lifted off his shoulders.
~~~***~~~
The second time isn’t really Tommy’s fault either. Although those long days after the AMAs Adam likes to blame him for the mess they created. Adam knows that technically, he is the only one to blame, but he tends to ignore that. The kiss wasn’t planned, but Adam got so lost in the moment, in the audience, the performance, in Tommy. Seeing him standing there, so open for everything Adam had to offer, Adam might do to him and being so very much Adam’s type it was almost painful. And so it shouldn’t have been a surprise, at least not to him, when he finally snapped.
He was just glad that Tommy didn’t seem to mind at all and when Adam pulled him into the dressing room after the show he just shrugged and laughed it off as if these kinds of things happen to him all the time.
Adam wonders if maybe they do.
In the end it doesn’t matter whose fault it is. It doesn’t change the way Adam is curled up in a dark corner of his apartment once he’s finally, finally alone. After endless hours of answering the same questions over and over again.
He cries then, painful sobs filled with the blood-curdling fear that this performance, this kiss, might have destroyed his career before it even started.
~~~***~~~
The third time is definitely, completely and undeniable Tommy’s fault. It’s at the end of one of the many rehearsals they are having these days. They are about to leave the stage when Adam suddenly gets knocked down. Hard. The pain is so intense that he sees white for a few seconds and his feet give out under him. Tommy is there to catch him immediately, but considering it was his bass that almost killed Adam, it is the very least Tommy can do.
Adam feels tears running down his cheeks and only the sheer look of guilt and panic on Tommy’s face keeps Adam from shouting at him.
To be honest, texting while running around on stage is probably not the smartest thing to do anyway.
Maybe it isn’t entirely Tommy’s fault after all.
~~~***~~~
The fourth time is during one of those stupid horror movies Tommy loves so much, and Adam can barely stand and only watches because Tommy can get him to do just about anything these days. Adam doesn’t remember exactly what it was that Tommy said, but he loses it. He starts laughing. Louder and harder than he has in weeks, month maybe. And it is so good it is almost painful. Too good to be real even. It brings tears to his eyes.
Tommy just smirks and takes another sip of his beer.
~~~***~~~
The fifth time is after a stupid club night in a stupid town after talking to stupid Brad. Because if there is one thing he cannot stand it is hearing Brad say “I told you so.” As if Adam doesn’t know. Doesn’t remember all those times Brad told him not to, under no circumstances, ever, fall for the straight boys. Not to fall for Tommy.
He doesn’t even remember why he called Brad in the fist place. He just needed someone to talk to after Tommy picked up this stupid girl. Especially, since it was Adam who insisted on going out tonight. On celebrating. Stupid Adam.
He throws his phone across the room not caring for where it lands and falls into bed. The tears fall freely and he wonders what he should do with himself now.
~~~***~~~
Adam is fast asleep when he hears the soft knock on his door. It is so light that for a moment Adam thinks he is dreaming. He is ready to go back to sleep when he hears a second knock, a little louder this time. He considers not getting up at all, but it is in the middle of the fucking night and no one would bother him, if it wasn’t important.
Slowly, he makes his way to the door, wiping his face to try and get rid of the remaining tear tracks and makeup leftovers before opening the door.
It isn’t like he had time to think about who might be standing in his doorway in the dead of night. But even if he had had time, he never would have imagined it to be Tommy. One look at the blond figure in front of him is enough to make him regret his decision to get out of bed immediately.
Tommy looks debauched. Like he had sex. Adam wants nothing more than to slam the door shut or to slap Tommy for being so cruel to him.
Instead he waits, waits for Tommy to say something, to give him some sort of explanation.
He doesn’t
He just stares at Adam, eyes glistening with unshed tears until Adam cannot take it any longer and pulls Tommy into his arms. He holds him close and ignores the biting smell of sex that fills his nose. He could at least have showered, couldn’t he?
Adam doesn’t know how much time they spend this way. Only when the slim body in his arms starts shaking with tears does he pull away. Not all the way, just enough to be able to look into Tommy’s eyes.
“What’s wrong, baby?” he asks, but Tommy doesn’t answer, just shakes his head and tries to hide his head in Adam’s shirt again. Adam is having none of that, though. He grabs Tommy’s face with both hands and forces him to look him in the eye. “Tell me” he no more than whispers.
Tommy only starts trembling more violently, even though Adam tries to calm him down with words and a soothing hand at the back of his neck, it doesn’t seem to help. When Tommy’s knees give out under him all Adam can do is catch his fall and guide them both down to the floor smoothly. This time, he lets Tommy cry against his chest all he wants. Tommy is mumbling words Adam cannot quite make out. Something that sounds a lot like I’m sorry and please forgive me, so stupid. Gently, Adam strokes Tommy’s hair, all the while wondering what could have possible happened to get Tommy to be this upset. He has never seen the smaller man like this.
It takes a while for Tommy to quiet down. They don’t get up right away, but sit together in silence instead. With Tommy still wrapped up in Adam’s arms. Eventually, Adam makes them get up to avoid getting some not so funny kinks in his upper back and shoulders.
Tommy still doesn’t talk, but he looks a tiny bit relieved. Adam smiles and pulls some shorts and a shirt out of his suitcase. He hands them to Tommy and pushes him into the shower. Tommy hesitates for only a few seconds before taking the clothes and heading to the bathroom, but it is enough to make Adam feel uneasy. This won’t be the first time Tommy spends the night in Adam’s bed. Far from it. Adam is masochistic like that.
He shrugs and gets under the covers. The clock on his nightstand shows 3:50. Adam groans. He has got an early wake-up call and he is so tired, despite the little sleep he got earlier. Thankfully, Tommy is not taking too long to get out of the shower and soon joins Adam in bed.
Adam pulls the smaller body against his own and buries his nose in the still damp, blond hair. It smells like this favorite shampoo, but with a hint of just Tommy underneath. It is almost too much and not enough at the same time. Still, he needs sleep so he closes his eyes and tries to at least get a little bit of it. He is more or less asleep when he hears Tommy’s soft voice against his ear: I love you.
Time stands still. Adam’s throat gets dry and he is pretty sure his heart stopped beating. He must have dreamed that. Yes, definitely, he is already sleeping and dreaming. It wouldn’t be the first time.
The thing is, this doesn’t feel like a dream at all. And he is pretty sure Tommy’s body is shaking again, only a little bit, but enough for Adam to notice. He pulls away a few inches and looks in Tommy’s brown eyes. They are filled with fear. More than Adam has ever seen in them. But if he looks close enough he can also see a tiny fraction of hope.
Could this be true? Could he really be awake?
He wants to speak. Say something. Anything. But he has lost the ability to form words. Also, he is pretty sure his body forgot how to breathe. So they just stare at each other, waiting for a reaction.
It takes not more than a few moments before Tommy tries to bail. He pushes Adam’s body away like it is poison and struggles with the covers until he is almost free. One of his legs gets tangled up in them, though and he falls to the floor. Any other time Adam would be laughing his ass off, but not right now. Instead, he is getting out of bed himself and pins a still struggling Tommy to the ground. It is only then that he realizes the other man is crying again. It all clicks into place then.
This isn’t a dream. Tommy is real. What he said is real.
Carefully, he pushes Tommy’s hair out of the way, before leaning down and whispering: “I love you, too.” Tommy’s eyes go wide, but he doesn’t have time to say anything in return before Adam’s lips cover his. Claiming him.
Later, when Tommy is once again safely wrapped up in his arms, fast asleep and with a small smile on his lips Adam is crying again. Only this time he doesn’t mind at all.
The end