Avengers drabble, PG
Amanda was showing me prompts on AIM and this-- "For all his calm, cool, and collected demeanor, Tony is reasonably sure that Coulson is actually batshit crazy. Tony may have volunteered to join the Avengers Initiative, but Coulson volunteered to babysit them. That takes either an incredible set of balls, or a whole lot of crazy." prompted the following drabble over AIM, haha
It's 600 words exactly, and I didn't plan that, hahaha.
Coulson knows how Tony likes his coffee. That doesn't worry Tony, that's a normal thing everyone who has to deal with Tony before noon should know. It's when he finds Coulson replacing his shampoo bottles in Tony's personal shower stall in the locker room that something pings on Tony's radar.
"Uh, hey Phil. Whatcha doing?"
"Hey Tony! Just restocking, I know how much jasmine calms you down after a fight." Coulson smiles at him and moves to Steve's stall with the reusable recycled plastic bag. Tony hears him shuttle around inside for a second.
Phil pops out his head, still grinning. "Steve's an Old Spice guy. Makes sense, old fashioned guy like him." He putters onto Thor's stall and Tony looks behind him to see if anyone else is around to witness this.
Nope. It would be his luck to find something weird by himself. Bruce gets to find cool alien microbials from space rocks while Tony finds Coulson sniffing their bodywash.
"Okay, well, I'm just gonna go-"
"Oh, don't mind me, please go right ahead and shower! You really hit the mats hard with the hand to hand with Barton today." Phil pops out of Thor's stall making punching motions with a bottle of Aussie in his hand. He shakes the purple bottle at Tony with a little laugh. "Even Gods need silky locks! Now Barton isn't about any of the fancy stuff. You know spies and assassins and stuff, they have to deal with what they can get their hands on so he's not fussy." Phil chats away casually, tossing out Thor's empty bottle and going into Hawkeye's stall. "I've been experimenting with a range of things though and he seems happiest with 'Heat' and 'Downpour' Axe products. Not so much with the 'Zen' but that's not entirely surprising."
Once again, Tony checks behind him. Can he hear signs of danger? Is J.A.R.V.I.S calling him? He should really work on some kind of hand sign or codeword for emergencies where J.A.R.V.I.S can call him away somewhere....
"And the thing about Bruce-" Coulson, who hadn't stopped talking, strides out of Barton's stall with a small bottle in hand, musing over it. "He uses some herbal products so that was tough at first but I know a guy." He looks up from the Hulk-suppressing bad smelling herbal junk and gives Tony a warm smile again. "I'm just really glad you're all here. I know it sounds funny but it means a lot of Fury and the rest of us here at S.H.I.E.L.D. As it gets more off the ground I know that the world will all be really glad you're all here too."
And you know, for as weird as Phil Coulson is, Tony can't fault him for any of it.
"Thank you, that's a really nice thing to hear. Now, with that said, I'm going to shower Clint's spit off me because he fights dirty." Phil waves and Tony sees him duck into Bruce's stall right before he enters his own.
"Thor and Steve are trying their hand at Thai tonight, should be ready by the time you're done," Phil calls over the stalls to him. "I know how it disagrees with your stomach so I've got Martinelli's sending your favorite over for you."
As the water comes on at exactly the perfect temperature and Tony starts to lather up himself to the lulling fragrance of jasmine, the promise of the best Italian food on the East Coast waiting for him, Tony only has one thing to think-- Thank God for Phil Coulson and all his weird personal shit.
THE END
It's 600 words exactly, and I didn't plan that, hahaha.
Coulson knows how Tony likes his coffee. That doesn't worry Tony, that's a normal thing everyone who has to deal with Tony before noon should know. It's when he finds Coulson replacing his shampoo bottles in Tony's personal shower stall in the locker room that something pings on Tony's radar.
"Uh, hey Phil. Whatcha doing?"
"Hey Tony! Just restocking, I know how much jasmine calms you down after a fight." Coulson smiles at him and moves to Steve's stall with the reusable recycled plastic bag. Tony hears him shuttle around inside for a second.
Phil pops out his head, still grinning. "Steve's an Old Spice guy. Makes sense, old fashioned guy like him." He putters onto Thor's stall and Tony looks behind him to see if anyone else is around to witness this.
Nope. It would be his luck to find something weird by himself. Bruce gets to find cool alien microbials from space rocks while Tony finds Coulson sniffing their bodywash.
"Okay, well, I'm just gonna go-"
"Oh, don't mind me, please go right ahead and shower! You really hit the mats hard with the hand to hand with Barton today." Phil pops out of Thor's stall making punching motions with a bottle of Aussie in his hand. He shakes the purple bottle at Tony with a little laugh. "Even Gods need silky locks! Now Barton isn't about any of the fancy stuff. You know spies and assassins and stuff, they have to deal with what they can get their hands on so he's not fussy." Phil chats away casually, tossing out Thor's empty bottle and going into Hawkeye's stall. "I've been experimenting with a range of things though and he seems happiest with 'Heat' and 'Downpour' Axe products. Not so much with the 'Zen' but that's not entirely surprising."
Once again, Tony checks behind him. Can he hear signs of danger? Is J.A.R.V.I.S calling him? He should really work on some kind of hand sign or codeword for emergencies where J.A.R.V.I.S can call him away somewhere....
"And the thing about Bruce-" Coulson, who hadn't stopped talking, strides out of Barton's stall with a small bottle in hand, musing over it. "He uses some herbal products so that was tough at first but I know a guy." He looks up from the Hulk-suppressing bad smelling herbal junk and gives Tony a warm smile again. "I'm just really glad you're all here. I know it sounds funny but it means a lot of Fury and the rest of us here at S.H.I.E.L.D. As it gets more off the ground I know that the world will all be really glad you're all here too."
And you know, for as weird as Phil Coulson is, Tony can't fault him for any of it.
"Thank you, that's a really nice thing to hear. Now, with that said, I'm going to shower Clint's spit off me because he fights dirty." Phil waves and Tony sees him duck into Bruce's stall right before he enters his own.
"Thor and Steve are trying their hand at Thai tonight, should be ready by the time you're done," Phil calls over the stalls to him. "I know how it disagrees with your stomach so I've got Martinelli's sending your favorite over for you."
As the water comes on at exactly the perfect temperature and Tony starts to lather up himself to the lulling fragrance of jasmine, the promise of the best Italian food on the East Coast waiting for him, Tony only has one thing to think-- Thank God for Phil Coulson and all his weird personal shit.
THE END