he apologizes...
I don't know why i do this to myself. It was AT's birthday drinks, and Jo came into town, and it was a good chance for Hendrik to get out more before he leaves.. so we head to the bars. Jo is same old same old. LOVE HIM! hopefully we'll get to do lunch tomorrow. AH, i really need to stop going out. I need to work on my ISP. yet, at the same time, i'm like, hey you're in london, this is your last year - go out buddy. And Jo and Hendrik spent most of the night telling me how i should either go to Paris or Berlin, and not to LSE. haha, yea it's so true, i'm going to hate it there... but.. sigh.
Anyhow, cognitive dissonance here. So yea, J met up with us at Frevd and.. we got into a fight. hahahahahaha we got into a fight over why i'm in a bad mood (in other words why i'm upset at him). bitch bitch bitch, and i end up hurting his feelings. He just pauses, and looks at me... like... ehhhhhhh. haha, i said he was thick. I've never used a bad word with him. He got mad at me for using the word "screaming" this is so pathetic. I feel like i'm dealing with a 5 year old half the time. and then after 10mins of soaking.. he apologizes "sincerely". though in truth he admits he's still not too sure why i'm mad at him. SEE, he just doesn't understand. He says he's sorry for cultural insensitivity. But bullshit that. THe thing is, i can't give him the cold shoulder. And i told hendrik this.. i still have feelings for him yes, i care for him yes - and that's partly why i can get so upset about it. Most people, i just don't care. However though it isn't all of me, it's a bit of me, and so i get mad, i get over it, and then i slap him. =)
why do i get so violent? goddness i feel like helga from hey arnold.
Anyhow, cognitive dissonance here. So yea, J met up with us at Frevd and.. we got into a fight. hahahahahaha we got into a fight over why i'm in a bad mood (in other words why i'm upset at him). bitch bitch bitch, and i end up hurting his feelings. He just pauses, and looks at me... like... ehhhhhhh. haha, i said he was thick. I've never used a bad word with him. He got mad at me for using the word "screaming" this is so pathetic. I feel like i'm dealing with a 5 year old half the time. and then after 10mins of soaking.. he apologizes "sincerely". though in truth he admits he's still not too sure why i'm mad at him. SEE, he just doesn't understand. He says he's sorry for cultural insensitivity. But bullshit that. THe thing is, i can't give him the cold shoulder. And i told hendrik this.. i still have feelings for him yes, i care for him yes - and that's partly why i can get so upset about it. Most people, i just don't care. However though it isn't all of me, it's a bit of me, and so i get mad, i get over it, and then i slap him. =)
why do i get so violent? goddness i feel like helga from hey arnold.