Entry #193 - Random Thoughts
Dear Journal,
The future, sometimes is easy to decide.
You're given a few options, you choose one and hope for the best.
Sometimes, there is just nothing you can do more for your future.
You've taken all the precautions.
You've made up your mind.
But, what do you do when the past continues to drag you down?
What happens when something has frightened you from going to ride a public bus, from going to a house... from doing certain things, only because you are not strong enough to be confronted with memories that used to make your heart live and your smile show...?
Memories that betray you now and make you cry only to think of them...
And, deep in your heart you only want to be free, but you have no way to be free.
So, a lonely heart weeps alone, without knowing what to do.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I'm not frightened by my future, because I have so many wonderful friends.
Great friendships, people I can depend on to care for me when I am too weak to lift my head and face the world.
And, the truth is, that the past is done.
My actions are done.
What I've done and what I've said, are done.
I can't change them.
So, why does the past continue to haunt me?
It continues to make a mockery of me.
My trust, my heart, my tears, my kisses... all haunt me.
And, when the darkness begins to close in...
I smile, because there is tomorrow.
If I live my life looking backwards, then I can never move forward.
The future, sometimes is easy to decide.
You're given a few options, you choose one and hope for the best.
Sometimes, there is just nothing you can do more for your future.
You've taken all the precautions.
You've made up your mind.
But, what do you do when the past continues to drag you down?
What happens when something has frightened you from going to ride a public bus, from going to a house... from doing certain things, only because you are not strong enough to be confronted with memories that used to make your heart live and your smile show...?
Memories that betray you now and make you cry only to think of them...
And, deep in your heart you only want to be free, but you have no way to be free.
So, a lonely heart weeps alone, without knowing what to do.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I'm not frightened by my future, because I have so many wonderful friends.
Great friendships, people I can depend on to care for me when I am too weak to lift my head and face the world.
And, the truth is, that the past is done.
My actions are done.
What I've done and what I've said, are done.
I can't change them.
So, why does the past continue to haunt me?
It continues to make a mockery of me.
My trust, my heart, my tears, my kisses... all haunt me.
And, when the darkness begins to close in...
I smile, because there is tomorrow.
If I live my life looking backwards, then I can never move forward.