Is This The End? I Hope Not...
I just dont understand how i'm still alive, with all this constant pain i put myself through. Ultimately, no matter how you look at it, its my fault. I just wish i could make things different. I wish i could change things. I wish you would just talk to me. You have no idea how much this is hurting me. I know you told me that its not good to get dependent on people, cuz when things like this happen you're pretty much completely fucked... but the problem is, i was already totally dependent on you to begin with. And then some things happened (one in particular) which made me even more dependent. And now its just like, i'm fine when i'm occupied and doing stuff, but once i'm alone... all hell breaks loose in my mind. But you cant talk to me. You wont even look at me. I understand that i hurt you, a lot. But we've been through things WAY tougher than this before. And somehow we've always gotten through them. Until now. I just hope this isnt the end of stuff, cuz this would be a pretty shitty way to end such a good thing.