love just is
Hey yall. When do u know if your in love and when should you give up. I dont think i'll ever have his full attention or feelings. maybe i should give up. Part of me just knows deep inside theres something his not telling me and i want to know. Does he feel the same way i feel or is it just me. Maybe i'm being to well yeah know getting to attached to him. He does leave in two months...so maybe his right maybe i should just let go...let go of all thats bugging me. Maybe loves not real. Steve and i didnt last..so what do i think? Am i suppose to think anything of it, or just sweep it under the rug. hmmm i get so scared somtimes that i cant make anyone happy. Like my friends, what if they leave me or what if they think i'm a dork, will they leave me too? Or my dad look at my brother his basically abandon any contact with him...i dont wanna be mark for once in my life i feel like my familys proud of where i am in life. but can i keep making them proud??? lately i've been so tired, tired of this this burden on my back. Its like i constantly have to be happy, and let nothing show. I put this mask on everyday...do people see through? like being confirmed..i did it for my parents, was that right? most kids do it for there faith..but what faith do i have, i dont know what to believe in anymore..without my grandma here alive, its difficult. and i'm not suppose to show my feelings.And steve..all he did was use me..but if he did why do i miss him..i'm not suppose to be feeling that. i'm suppose to be angry and mad. not depressed and questioning wether or not he really loved me or if his alive, or will he come back. i'm not a perfect person either..why am i hurting like this? ..i miss grandma. What if my friends get tired of dealing with me. Or what if they grow up and just find me old and annoying. I've never had luck with friends and finally i've found a group who accepts me for who i am..plz dont have them leave me, i dont know what i would do with out them. Then my mom..i can never make her happy, and i just want to see her happy. Will she ever be happy? i never thought she would ever get this sad