ah i never gushed so much before in my life >..>
mannnn .... this man is making me gush so bad ... I need to control myself before Chad catches me lol ... I tell myself every day ... this is wrong, this is sooooo wrong, i thought i could be the most faithful person in the world .... but now ... i'm not so sure .... he's like mmmmmn my drug my daily high but I think i've overdozed last night bc i was sick and nausis all night long <3 its all a combination tho .... i wasnt really hungry yesterday had some spegettios and a sandwich that was about it .... and then the heat got to me .... then i got too excited .... then Chad brought me a monster energy with hardly anything in my stomach .... and ontop of that im traveling on saturday ... im really nervous ... i dont mind flying i hate waiting but i didnt think id get nervous this time bc Chad and Rhonda will be with me this time ... but idk .... maybe its more of my favorite drug than anything else ... i never got this badly nausis over a guy before .... but you all don't understand .... I've waited 3 years for this man to fess up to the truth that i alwayse wanted to verify .... and never got .... and i'm been trying 2 days to not float on a cloud .... i'm such a terrible person ... but when I say "I love you" to Chad I really don't feel anymore and we finally on our own in your new place ... its awesome ... but idk what to think.... besides a lil guilty for flirting all the time ... but i can't stop either >.< just can't stop wondering why it feels so right, what if i'm wrong and break both of their hearts and i'm left all alone again ... i can't keep anyone happy forever =( but mmmmmnnn ..... <3 for now