Ever Less Holy..
These past few days have been hectic. Like the neglecting ive done with my midterms, like im doing now. Haha. I know the severity of these midterms, yet my body and mind refuses to let me study. Its pretty crazy, today i brought my AP Psychology book with me on the bus with a flashlight. Since its 5:30 in the morning and not much sun is out, i was forced to use the flashlight during the bumpy ride. How annoying...
I really need to catch up with the studying tommorrow since those are my hardest exams..well chemistry anyway. Im probably going to get my 1st B in a while..im sort of pissed off, because chemistry is the only class dragging me down to a B.It sucks.
I cant ever imagine failiing, ir ealized this today when more than half of my acting class failed. 90% of the kids there failed, i got an A. i was just thinking to myself, like what if i saw an F on my report card? i would surely freak out. I have this high pressure on myself to outdo others and to make sure im never a failure. Because that's what an F means. Fail. Fail what? fuck that i dont fail, and i probably wont ever. And this is one of the things i hold in high self regard, because if i were to ever fail...i dont know what id do..
Anyways, today i played phenomenal in practice. Ill probably earn a starting spot. I played like afreaking pro today, pump faking and making kids jump while i wetted shots all day. today was a good day. it kind of feels like the weekend. I cant wait till this week is over...no more midterms...no more school...just me and my basketball. Thats probably all its going to be this christmas break because no one around my block really does anything anymore. so il probably just chill by myself most of it.
R.I.P. to Matt Mesa. he commited suicide on the 17th. Although i didnt know him as a friend, he was an aquaintance on my bus for 3 years. Rest in peace bro. 12-17-04
Yesterday i was listening to a song called Ghetto Ghospel by Tupac and Elton John and it made me think about lots of things. I love this song. So to the memory of Matt Mesa, ill put down the lyrics.
In His Memory:
Those who wish to follow me (My ghetto gospel)
I welcome with my hands
And the red sun sinks at last into the hills of gold
And peace to this young warrior without the sound of guns
If I could recelect before my hood dayz
I'd sit and reminisce, nigga and bliss on that good dayz
i stop and stare at the younger, my heart goes to'em
They tested, it was stressed that fate under
In our days, things changed
Everyone's ashamed to the youth cuz the truth looks strange
And for me it's the worst, we left of a world that's cursed, and it hurts
cause any day they'll push the button
and yall condemned like Malcolm x and Bobby Hunton, died for nothin
Don't them let me get teary, the world looks dreary
but when you wipe your eyes, see it clearly
there's no need for you to fear me
if you take the time to hear me, maybe you can learn to cheer me
it aint about black or white, cuz we're human
I hope you see the light before its ruined
my ghetto gospel
Those who wish to follow me (My ghetto gospel)
I welcome with my hands
And the red sun sinks at last into the hills of gold
And peace to this young warrior without the sound of guns
Tell me do you see that old lady aint it sad
Living out a bag, plus she's glad for the little things she has
And over there there's a lady, crack got her crazy
Guess she's given birth to a baby
I don't trip and let it fade me, from outta the frying pan
We're jumping to another form of slavery
Even now I keep discouraged
Wonder if they take it all back while I still keep the courage
I refuse to be a role model
I take hoes, keep control, drink out my own bottle
I make mistakes, I learn from everyone
And when its said and done
I bet this Brotha be a better one
If I'm upset, you don't stress
Never forget, that God hasn't finished with me yet
I feel his hand on my brain
When I write rhymes, I go blind, and let the lord do his thang
But I'm in less holy
Cuz I choose to puff a blunt and drink a beer with my homies
Before we find world peace
We gotta find peace in that war on the streets
My ghetto gospel
Those who wish to follow me (My ghetto gospel)
I welcome with my hands
And the red sun sinks at last into the hills of gold
And peace to this young warrior without the sound of guns
Lord can you hear me!!
To pay the price of being hell bound...
I really need to catch up with the studying tommorrow since those are my hardest exams..well chemistry anyway. Im probably going to get my 1st B in a while..im sort of pissed off, because chemistry is the only class dragging me down to a B.It sucks.
I cant ever imagine failiing, ir ealized this today when more than half of my acting class failed. 90% of the kids there failed, i got an A. i was just thinking to myself, like what if i saw an F on my report card? i would surely freak out. I have this high pressure on myself to outdo others and to make sure im never a failure. Because that's what an F means. Fail. Fail what? fuck that i dont fail, and i probably wont ever. And this is one of the things i hold in high self regard, because if i were to ever fail...i dont know what id do..
Anyways, today i played phenomenal in practice. Ill probably earn a starting spot. I played like afreaking pro today, pump faking and making kids jump while i wetted shots all day. today was a good day. it kind of feels like the weekend. I cant wait till this week is over...no more midterms...no more school...just me and my basketball. Thats probably all its going to be this christmas break because no one around my block really does anything anymore. so il probably just chill by myself most of it.
R.I.P. to Matt Mesa. he commited suicide on the 17th. Although i didnt know him as a friend, he was an aquaintance on my bus for 3 years. Rest in peace bro. 12-17-04
Yesterday i was listening to a song called Ghetto Ghospel by Tupac and Elton John and it made me think about lots of things. I love this song. So to the memory of Matt Mesa, ill put down the lyrics.
In His Memory:
Those who wish to follow me (My ghetto gospel)
I welcome with my hands
And the red sun sinks at last into the hills of gold
And peace to this young warrior without the sound of guns
If I could recelect before my hood dayz
I'd sit and reminisce, nigga and bliss on that good dayz
i stop and stare at the younger, my heart goes to'em
They tested, it was stressed that fate under
In our days, things changed
Everyone's ashamed to the youth cuz the truth looks strange
And for me it's the worst, we left of a world that's cursed, and it hurts
cause any day they'll push the button
and yall condemned like Malcolm x and Bobby Hunton, died for nothin
Don't them let me get teary, the world looks dreary
but when you wipe your eyes, see it clearly
there's no need for you to fear me
if you take the time to hear me, maybe you can learn to cheer me
it aint about black or white, cuz we're human
I hope you see the light before its ruined
my ghetto gospel
Those who wish to follow me (My ghetto gospel)
I welcome with my hands
And the red sun sinks at last into the hills of gold
And peace to this young warrior without the sound of guns
Tell me do you see that old lady aint it sad
Living out a bag, plus she's glad for the little things she has
And over there there's a lady, crack got her crazy
Guess she's given birth to a baby
I don't trip and let it fade me, from outta the frying pan
We're jumping to another form of slavery
Even now I keep discouraged
Wonder if they take it all back while I still keep the courage
I refuse to be a role model
I take hoes, keep control, drink out my own bottle
I make mistakes, I learn from everyone
And when its said and done
I bet this Brotha be a better one
If I'm upset, you don't stress
Never forget, that God hasn't finished with me yet
I feel his hand on my brain
When I write rhymes, I go blind, and let the lord do his thang
But I'm in less holy
Cuz I choose to puff a blunt and drink a beer with my homies
Before we find world peace
We gotta find peace in that war on the streets
My ghetto gospel
Those who wish to follow me (My ghetto gospel)
I welcome with my hands
And the red sun sinks at last into the hills of gold
And peace to this young warrior without the sound of guns
Lord can you hear me!!
To pay the price of being hell bound...