Glade, seperated into two sections for your enjoyment
...brought to you by Becky and Sarah-Lily...
Oh my! What a fucking bloody raining cunting bloody hellish wet messy muddy horrific nice food yummy tea shitty loos of an event!!!
We began this journey of horror terror poo EVERYWHERE rain EVERYWHERE at home, in the warmth, the comfort on Thursday the 19th of this very shitty month. We both made our own special ways towards Reading train station (which you can't even go to now due to flooding). We then got a train to Thatcham, where we caught a special bus that would take us to the site.
We actually had a fantastic first day...the weather was lovely and everything was so chilled and we met up with Tish and got potato wedges which were insanely yummy!!
Tish went off to see her mates and me and Sarah-Lily went to the Pussy Parlour...which was really cool...and we both got a Pussy Punch that was yummy, despite the name.
NOW...LUCKLY we decided to go back to the camp site afterwards. A wise decision for twas soon to begin raining!! and not just raining...but the kind of rain that people in Yorkshire experience!
14 HOURS OF NON-STOP TORRENTIAL RAIN.
We both went to our tent to seek refuge...and we fell asleep. Sarah-Lily bladder could no longer be ignored and after waiting a further 3 hours, she decided to brave the elements and made a mad dash for the nearest portoloo... as you, dear reader, can imagine... 'twas not a pretty sight... even under the moon's light!!! At this point, Becky wakes up to the horrible feeling of aloneness... for what seemed like a decade. She braved to open up the tent and brave a peek... mistake...
DON'T TOUCH THE SIDES!!!!
Once Sarah got back, we decided to see how water proof our tent exactly was. This tent, that has survived two previous glades was a single skin, tesco tent that was costing all of a tenner and actually said on the label "Do not use in extreme weather"
LOL
Amazingly, it was one of the only tents out of our group that survived till the morning. God knows how. As we crawled from our tent at 7am the next day, we were greated by... yet more rain and the mud... glorious mud. We all decided to go and get wellies, for those who had not thought ahead and then decided that a cup of tea or chai was indeed needed to warm our soul and spirits. As we entered Chai Wallahs, we realised that the rain was not going to get any better. We sat in Chai Wallash, half-trapped half-unwilling to leave and bursting for a piss. We were entertained by a very strange man, powered only by a very small guitar amp and an... um... "interesting" song about careers (video yet to come).
We had to pee. We'd both held it in for like... 4 hours... we made a mad dash in the rain and used the portoloos... that were covered in shit... but OH! THE RELIEF!!!! But, as were left the loo area, it started to get windy. Oh noooo! we thought, as we ran back to Chai Wallahs. T'was the beginning of bad, bad times. For the next 4 hours we sat, shivering in Steve's tent, sharing a single bread roll, trying to play shithead with soggy cards. And then we hear the news that Little Sarah had fallen ill. It was this point that we decided to make a call and get the fuck out of the hell that Glade had become. We continued to sit in this tent until we heard some cheering...
IT STOPPED RAINING!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
We ventured out of the two man tent (there was five of us) and decided that as we waited for our Knight In Shining Armour (Georgie) that we would at least try and have a dance. Two hours after they were meant to start, a few of the stages started up and we went and tried to enjoy them as much we can. Overkill was completely flooded, shambles! there were portolooks floating in what was meant to be the most awesome of all stages. It was sad, sad times. But we had a bit of a dance at the Glade stage and Origin before being side-tracked by a desperate need of a hoodie. Once clothed in something that wasn't COMPLETELY sodden, we went back to try and find Lil Sarah. Unable to, we trekked back to the site, covered in a fresh new layer of mud! We recieved a call, telling us that Lil Sarah had fainted and was being taken care of by the welfare people, them lovely folk!
Drained, tired and sitting on soggy seats...everyone else from our group decided to go off and have a dance...me and Sarah stayed...waiting for news from Lil Sarah...Occasionally there was a gap in the clouds and as it went along the site...you could hear everyone cheer as the sun hit their faces. We laughed a lil...and cheered too.
We both agreed that even though the sun was shining and peoples spirits were raised a lil...most of the stages were still closed, some even turned into hospitals where people could seek refuge and attempt to dry themselves. As tempted by the sun we were to stay, we knew it would start rainging again...
When Lil Sarah was able to get back to the site...it was time to leave...we fetched all our stuff (that we wisely placed into bin liners so they didn't get in the slightest bit wet!!).
Now...at this point we thought we were safe and we would soon be home...but OH, OH NO...it goes on...