...
It's amazing how things can change in a matter of 5 weeks. John and I are no longer together. He told me I was not moving in and that I should stay away for awhile. So I packed what I had at his house and left. I'm not happy with him, and I'm not happy without him.
I tried to make things work again. I tried to get back together with him. But with friends and family telling me they're going to either beat me or disown me if I get back together with him, you can imagine how hard it was to even TALK to him. He wanted marriage, which I wanted. He wanted kids, which I know damn well I am not ready for them.
Now I fear I'm pregnant. I was told point blank last night by John that if I am pregnant.. I am on my own. He wants nothing to do with me, or the child.. even though it would be his. I would be a single mother, still living with her own parents, working a security job that really.. is a dead end job. I can't imagine having a child whose father wants nothing to do with it and having to look at that child and seeing their father in their eyes or face.. then having to explain to the child that due to mommy being a fuck up.. daddy doesnt want him. It breaks my heart to even write that. I never thought I'd be in this situation.
Heaven help me...
I tried to make things work again. I tried to get back together with him. But with friends and family telling me they're going to either beat me or disown me if I get back together with him, you can imagine how hard it was to even TALK to him. He wanted marriage, which I wanted. He wanted kids, which I know damn well I am not ready for them.
Now I fear I'm pregnant. I was told point blank last night by John that if I am pregnant.. I am on my own. He wants nothing to do with me, or the child.. even though it would be his. I would be a single mother, still living with her own parents, working a security job that really.. is a dead end job. I can't imagine having a child whose father wants nothing to do with it and having to look at that child and seeing their father in their eyes or face.. then having to explain to the child that due to mommy being a fuck up.. daddy doesnt want him. It breaks my heart to even write that. I never thought I'd be in this situation.
Heaven help me...