Progress
I went to the dr earlier this week, armed with information as well as 2 new issues. Extreme muscle fatigue, and muscle twitchs. As soon as I mentioned these, I could almost see something click in his head.
I had an MRI yesterday, and am waiting on a EMG test for nerves and muscles.
Dr has 2 things in mind, both are terrifying. 1 is what I was already suspicious of and worried about. However the 2nd is equally terrifying.
I still feel like I'm crazy though - like I almost want to have one of this diagnosis. In a way - I do. Just because it will validate what I've been dealing with, and give me some answers. But, I feel crazy because - who wants to have a disability? It's not something I want to live with. But I guess, either way I'm living with this constant pain. At least a diagnosis would give me answers and information.
So my overthinking brain keeps bouncing between, ok, if it is either a) or b), what is my life going to look like? Vs. If it isn't a) or b), the WTF is it!!! I'm not crazy. The pain is real. The fatigue is real. The weakness is real. The brain fog, confusion, memory loss, it's all real. But if it turns out to not be a) or b), or even c) d) e) or f).... then am I crazy? Maybe it's in my head?