how do i get you alone ?
so i might actually post an entry worth reading? lets go for it.. ahah..
well since i havent had a decent update in the past year, senior year has passed me by.. not completely, but there's 24 days left.. yea.. all year i bitched and complained between juggling 3 ap classes, being nhs secretary, yearbook editor, and the unofficial math tutor for the entire school.. now im actually sad about it.. i guess it all hit me after cay's graduation party.. proms friday, and im not ready at all, i dont want to think about it.. at this point in the year i dont really care about academics anymore, i just want to have fun, which is why im not studying for tomorrow's physics test right now.. i busted my ass off all year thinking nothing would come of it, but i'm salutatorian, which is an accomplishment, but i get the sucky end of the speeches to write.. im proud of myself, i guess everything will pay off at graduation.. i took advantage of going to every senior event, and im glad that i did because i had a great time at every single one of them.. from the ring dance with jay, to the masquerade, the last turkey bowl, senior winter social, winter date dance with danny, all the way to the junior prom which wasnt even mine.. at this point, i wont miss the school and all of the drama, but a handful of people.. ill be in college with michelle next year so thats pretty cool, at least we wont be separated.. and devon and a bunch of other kids are goin to temple too.. lauren, cay and chuckie will be at lasalle so ill be making trips to spend nights over there.. but stephanies moving to scranton, dom to new york, billy to maryland, and matt to pittsburgh.. its a scary thought realizing that you're no longer gonna see these people who you've seen every day for the past 2-4 years.. my graduation party will probably be the last time everyones all together.. after next week classes are officially done, three of them ended for me already last week after AP tests, which were ridiculously hard.. anyway, i guess i learned to appreciate everything that has happened over the past year and instead of being bitter about the way my life turned out, im content with it.. i cant worry about what happened 2 years ago because its over, nothing can come of it, and at this point i dont really know why i would want something to come of it.. my love life sucks as usual, but i do have my eye on someone, it would never work though, because id never even make an attempt to let it work.. its fun to wonder though..
my family life is up in the air.. yea, they all love me thats not a problem at all, and they all love each other too, but we all get on each others nerves.. not to mention the fact that everyones sick and stuff.. my uncles been in and out of the hospital since new years eve, and a lot of times we didnt think hed make it.. and just as he was in rehab and gettin better and probably couldve made it to graduation he fell back into it again.. yesterday was mothers day and everything was so crazy between goin up to the hospital and stuff, we ordered tons of chinese food and the whole family came over - how disfunctional!.. my mom just told me my dad needs surgery too, im kinda scared, i wasnt supposed to know.. but i had to confront my dad about it anyway because if i didnt id be scared to death, and as usual he told me everything will be alright.. i guess i need to hear it from him in order to be satisfied though, because him and my sister got into a car accident last week and i couldnt go to bed until he told me everything was alright.. i love my dad.. im just worried about him putting together this party for me and i dont want him to do it if its gonna make him sick.. but he has some master plan with a back up plan in case something happens, which i hope it doesnt.. im just paranoid about going down the shore this weekend with all of this going on.. im not longer in the lj-updating mood i was in a couple minutes ago ahah some sense of worry and depression just came over me.. so i guess i should end this..
well since i havent had a decent update in the past year, senior year has passed me by.. not completely, but there's 24 days left.. yea.. all year i bitched and complained between juggling 3 ap classes, being nhs secretary, yearbook editor, and the unofficial math tutor for the entire school.. now im actually sad about it.. i guess it all hit me after cay's graduation party.. proms friday, and im not ready at all, i dont want to think about it.. at this point in the year i dont really care about academics anymore, i just want to have fun, which is why im not studying for tomorrow's physics test right now.. i busted my ass off all year thinking nothing would come of it, but i'm salutatorian, which is an accomplishment, but i get the sucky end of the speeches to write.. im proud of myself, i guess everything will pay off at graduation.. i took advantage of going to every senior event, and im glad that i did because i had a great time at every single one of them.. from the ring dance with jay, to the masquerade, the last turkey bowl, senior winter social, winter date dance with danny, all the way to the junior prom which wasnt even mine.. at this point, i wont miss the school and all of the drama, but a handful of people.. ill be in college with michelle next year so thats pretty cool, at least we wont be separated.. and devon and a bunch of other kids are goin to temple too.. lauren, cay and chuckie will be at lasalle so ill be making trips to spend nights over there.. but stephanies moving to scranton, dom to new york, billy to maryland, and matt to pittsburgh.. its a scary thought realizing that you're no longer gonna see these people who you've seen every day for the past 2-4 years.. my graduation party will probably be the last time everyones all together.. after next week classes are officially done, three of them ended for me already last week after AP tests, which were ridiculously hard.. anyway, i guess i learned to appreciate everything that has happened over the past year and instead of being bitter about the way my life turned out, im content with it.. i cant worry about what happened 2 years ago because its over, nothing can come of it, and at this point i dont really know why i would want something to come of it.. my love life sucks as usual, but i do have my eye on someone, it would never work though, because id never even make an attempt to let it work.. its fun to wonder though..
my family life is up in the air.. yea, they all love me thats not a problem at all, and they all love each other too, but we all get on each others nerves.. not to mention the fact that everyones sick and stuff.. my uncles been in and out of the hospital since new years eve, and a lot of times we didnt think hed make it.. and just as he was in rehab and gettin better and probably couldve made it to graduation he fell back into it again.. yesterday was mothers day and everything was so crazy between goin up to the hospital and stuff, we ordered tons of chinese food and the whole family came over - how disfunctional!.. my mom just told me my dad needs surgery too, im kinda scared, i wasnt supposed to know.. but i had to confront my dad about it anyway because if i didnt id be scared to death, and as usual he told me everything will be alright.. i guess i need to hear it from him in order to be satisfied though, because him and my sister got into a car accident last week and i couldnt go to bed until he told me everything was alright.. i love my dad.. im just worried about him putting together this party for me and i dont want him to do it if its gonna make him sick.. but he has some master plan with a back up plan in case something happens, which i hope it doesnt.. im just paranoid about going down the shore this weekend with all of this going on.. im not longer in the lj-updating mood i was in a couple minutes ago ahah some sense of worry and depression just came over me.. so i guess i should end this..