a myriad of things come to mind

[lildrummer50]

at this point
i just finished watching the lovely bones
it gave me some closure with jeremy that i guess i didn't have before
looking at my new guy's sleeping face and thinking back at the same time
i realized that even though i hadn't realized it
the crushing void smothering my soul and happiness
had slowly filled itself in
scars remain
but i am a whole person again
i'm talking to diddy kong right now
about my favorite band
and albums by them
they have a signifigance in my life that i cannot convey through text
maybe music would do the trick
but then i would simply be rewriting the album
memories
of crying every night for jeremy
of anticipating the next time i got to see diddy kong
of the endless chess games we used to have
of driving into the mountains with my father and hoping for a better future between us
the nostalgia hurts and helps
mostly the feeling i have
is loneliness
one day it will be ok
everything will be ok
this i know
because i have lived in worse times
i have gone through worse things
it will only get better from here
maybe these are things i tell myself to get by
but i wholeheartedly believe them
everything is going to be alright