Brother Of Mine (Chapter 14)
++Jun++
The feeling was like a fist closing tight around my throat and then the retching which pushed up from the pit of my stomach all the way up to the burning fire which spewed out of my throat. I had not idea that throwing up could be so painful.
“Jun… Jun…” Aunt Ayako said comfortingly as she rubbed me on the back even as I heaved my guts out again into the metal basin. This had been one of those things I feared.
I had not wanted to face the fact that I was sick.
The pain I could will away with excuses - but the chemo was making my body truly feel the sickness.
I had not wanted my brothers to be with me after chemo simply because I still have not been able to learn to crumble around them. Aunt Ayako on the other hand, had been insistent that she be allowed to stay. She was, after all, the one who had been the source of my strength.
And right now she truly was that - a source of strength.
“Here,” she said, handing me a towel as she helped me clean my face, then handed me a glass of water which I gratefully accepted.
“Aunt Ayako…” I smiled at her, “Why don’t you go home for the night?”
“Don’t worry about me,” she insisted, “I’ve asked the nurses to provide me a bunk bed. I’ll stay here with you tonight.”
“But…”
“Jun,” she responded, her tone a firm warning that she would broker no protest from me.
I paused, giving in, “Thank you Aunt Ayako.”
As she helped me back into the bed, I found myself wondering, what could my brothers be doing?
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The two brothers walked next to one another in silence, Ryo had his hands shoved deep in his jeans pockets while Kazu had his thumbs hooked on his coat pockets. If one was watching them from behind one would not have been able to deny the similarities between them.
It was more than just the physical similarities - but the air they carried, the atmosphere they exude.
However, there was something a little extra in their steps today. It was the similar purpose that they both felt. The same desire to learn a truth that they could use to help their brother. The desire to do what they can for their dying brother.
Neither of them had any illusions that they would be able to give their brother back his first love. But they both knew what their brother wanted… what he needed… was closure.
And that was what they were looking for.
Jyuunan Community Centre was a large complex of three beige and cream coloured buildings arranged in a u shape around a cobblestone courtyard.
There were children running around and a group of elderly sitting on the porch, talking to one another. There was an air of contentment in that place and both Kazu and Ryo found themselves standing at the gate, looking in on the scene.
It wasn’t until a young man wearing a uniform with the words Jyuunan Community Centre printed on it walked up to them did they stir.
“Yes? Can I help you sirs?”
“Uh… ano…” Ryo stammered but before Kazu could speak up to finish his brother’s sentence, another man walked out of the building towards them.
Tamaki Hiroshi.
“Okada-san,” the man addressed Ryo then raised an eyebrow at Kazu.
“My aniki,” Ryo introduced him.
“We’ve met before…”
“I’m an associate at Kimura & Partners,” Kazu responded, “I’ve worked on one ATT’s accounts before.”
“I see,” he responded. He glanced at the two brothers for a moment longer and with a jerk of his head he invited them in, “Come on in.”
The two brothers followed the taller man into the compound of the community centre, well aware that they were the centre of everyone’s attention. It was obvious that the people within the community centre were a close knit group and anyone new would attract attention.
“You run an orphanage here,” Kazu spoke up as the entered the centre’s office, “And an elderly home…”
“Not really,” Tamaki replied, “We provide temporary facilities for when the surrounding care centres when they don’t have enough space. And we also provide help for people who might not have the money to go to private hospitals for things like physical rehabilitation or special classes for the blind and the dumb.”
“I see…”
Tamaki smirked as he sat down behind his desk, “Why does it seem as though you disapprove of what I do? As though you think I have a Mother Theresa complex or something?”
“That’s not what I mean,” Kazu responded, taking a seat at the sofa Tamaki Hiroshi waved them to. Ryo sat down next to him, neck still craned to look around the complex before turning to address Tamaki.
“I think you’re doing a great job here.”
“Thank you,” Tamaki smiled, “But Kazu here would also understand that I’m not all charity. This centre does function as an effective tax break for ATT.”
“Oh.”
The three men became silent again, looking at one another before Tamaki finally cleared his throat and spoke up, “Well, I suppose you’ll be wanting to talk to Haruka.”
“I suppose so,” Kazu responded.
The man nodded, “I’ll take you to her room.”
“You’re married aren’t you? Don’t you live together at your own place?”
“This is our home,” Tamaki responded, “We live in the centre.”
Oh…”
Tamaki paused for a moment, studying the two brothers before telling them, “Look, I know things are complicated, and I know that you guys probably think the worst but I will tell you this much… Haruka has been through a lot and for that I ask for your understanding ahead of time. I don’t know what her relation is to your brother or what your brother is going through but for me, Haruka is most important - so if you say anything that hurts her…”
He didn’t finish the sentence, allowing the meaning of his words to sink in on its own with the two brothers.
It was Ryo who answered him, “Haruka-nee was like family to us,” he said softly, “We would never do - or say - anything to purposely hurt her.”
Tamaki took a deep breath, shaking his head as he let it out, “Alright then.”
They walked through the community centre both brothers taking note of the activities going on in the centre and both of them were not slow to notice how popular Tamaki-san was with the residents and staff of the centre. They were all constantly coming up to him to talk to him or at least to greet him, always with a smile on his face.
The thought came to both brothers almost instantly and they looked at one another almost as though they needed to confirm the thought between themselves. Tamaki Hiroshi reminded them of their brother.
He was a caretaker, just like Jun was.
But the main difference was that he had expended that instinct to take care of more than just his family. He was an astute businessman, that was something Kazu knew well but his sincerity to the community centre was no lie either.
He truly loved the centre and what it stood for and all those within the centre responded in kind to the man.
“Here you are,” he spoke up to the brothers when they reached the back of the centre, “Haruka and I live here. We’ve lived here for the past two years. She’s already waiting for you both. If you need anything, then just call for me. I’ll be in the office.”
“Eh?” Kazu interrupted, “You’re not going to stay? You don’t want to know…”
The rest of the words were left unsaid but the implication was as clear as day.
You don’t want to know what was the relation between your wife and our brother?
“I’m fine,” he smiled, “Both of you, take your time.”
-------
The room beyond the community centre was like any normal apartment room except for the Braille label which was stuck on almost everything. The electrical switches, the containers on the kitchen counter; anything that seemed as though it needed identification was stuck with a Braille label.
“Haruka-nee,” Ryo greeted the woman sitting at the kitchen table.
“Haruka,” Kazu echoed.
The woman turned her head slightly at the sound of their voice, a trace of a smile on her lips - weary and hesitant. She was the Haruka they had once known, but at the same time she wasn’t. Thinner, paler; she did not project the air of the self confident, smiling photographer who once took so much pride in her work.
Then again that was only expected.
A photographer without her eyesight wouldn’t make much of a photographer.
“Ryo-kun, Kazu-kun,” she spoke up and the brothers immediately noticed the warmth in her voice was still there.
“Come in, take a seat.”
They did as she bade, pulling out the dining table chairs across from her.
“How have you been nee-chan?” Ryo asked, “I should have asked that first when I saw you the other day but I was just… was just…”
“Startled?” she finished for him, chuckling despite herself, “Surprised? Shocked?”
“All of the above,” Ryo responded.
She turned her head unerringly to where Kazu was seated, “And Kazu? What about you? How did things work out with that college sweetheart of yours?”
“We’re married,” Kazu responded, “We’ve been married for about two years now.”
“Oh.”
They all paused, the air pregnant with all sort of expectations before Kazu finally asked the question that they all knew needed to be asked.
“Will you tell us what happened Haruka? We’re not expecting to change anything but for ani… for aniki. I think he deserves to kow what happened from you… but if you are unwilling to meet him, at least tell us what happened.”
She sighed, fingers crumpling into a fist almost as though trying to bring herself to say the words pained her.
“Why is Jun in the hospital Kazu-kun? Ryo-kun… you said… you said that Jun’s dying.”
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++Kazu++
“Cancer,” I told her, “They found a tumour in his brain. It’s malignant.”
The sharp intake of her breath reminded me of my own when Jun-ni told me about his condition. If she had once loved my brother then the news would not be easy for her to bear. Regardless of the reason they broke up, regardless the reason she might have left him, her reaction tells me that the news pains her beyond your normal sympathy.
“And here I was thinking that I would leave this world before him…” she whispered, “I thought that leaving his side had been the best decision I could make for his future…”
“Haruka-nee…” Ryo spoke up, reaching across the table to place his hand over hers, “Haruka what do you mean by that?”
She didn’t reply immediately, biting her lower lips in hesitation, before speaking up, “Leber hereditary optic neuropathy.”
“Eh?”
“The name of my disease. Leber hereditary optic neuropathy, LHON. It’s a type of neuro disease which casues loss of vision. Normally that would be the typical case but mine is also a rare form which is also affecting my brain and nervous system. I’m losing control of my body and the doctor says I only have a few more years before I become paralyzed.”
When she said that I noticed it; the small things which had initially escaped my notice. The tremor in her fingers, the stiffness in her neck movement. How could I have missed that?
“Tamaki and I were childhood friends, and he told me I could move into this centre - because they have the facilities for physical rehabilitation as well as basic medical facilities. The staff are also trained to help me adapt as I…”
She paused for a moment, taking in a deep breath, “As I turn into an invalid.”
I pressed a fist to my mouth, trying back to fight the emotion within me. Why? Why are people like Jun-ni and Haruka are the ones who God test with such insurmountable obstacles in their life?
For a moment I remembered the look on both these people back when they had been dating. The shining smiles, the trust that the future would hold good for them if they worked hard together.
She left him because she wanted him to have a brighter future without her, not burdened by the disease as it wrecks havoc on her body. Yet the irony of it is that her decision had not bore the fruit of what she hoped. Fate was twisted in a way we couldn’t imagine.
“Would you come see him?” I asked her, “I don’t know if he would appreciate us asking you this but Haruka… I think Jun-ni needs to see you.”
-----
As the brothers left the centre Ryo turned to look at his elder brother.
“Ani’s going to be mad at us.”
“Probably,” Kazu replied, shoving his hands into his pockets as they walked towards the bus stop from the community centre, “But maybe he has better things to worry about than to be mad at us about this.”
“Really?”
“Really,” Kazu laughed, poking the side of Ryo’s head, “Now listen to me, there’s something else we need to do for aniki.”
Ryo nodded as he listened to his elder brother explain about the exhibit Jun had been invited to join, and he explained his idea was to Ryo. The younger man’s face lit up at the thought of the project his brother had painted out for them.
“I need to be back in the office tomorrow,” Kazu told him, “So I suppose we can take shifts staying with aniki in the hospital.”
“Erika said she would also spend time with him.”
“So did Meisa.”
“He’s not going to like it,” Ryo sighed, “He’s going to think we’re babysitting him.”
“I suppose so, but unless things look up, I don’t want aniki to be alone.”
They took the bus straight to their brother’s studio first though, there were certain things that Jun had entrusted his brothers to do. The most important thing was the break the news to his staff.
It was Nagayama Eita who greeted them at the studio when they arrived. Junichi had hired the young man several years back after finding him at a photo exhibition. The young man had been working as a gravure photographer and not being doing very well mostly because he always felt he needed to express himself as a photographer. A bikini and nude model photographer was not really the best job for an aspiring artisan.
Jun saw that in the young man and had decided to take him in as an apprentice, just like his mentor had done for him when he started photography. Now Eita was a successful photographer in his own right and has been receiving an increasing number of job requests as well. In fact, if the studio was overbooked for Jun there was no problem with the client to have Eita replace him.
Both Kazu and Ryo knew that their elder brother trusted Eita to run the studio in his absence, but even with a capable assistant photographer like Eita, the studio was still based on Jun’s name. The man could hold down the fort for only so long if clients were still expecting Jun to front the studio. Many of the clienteles were all established through long time connections which Jun garnered through years of hard work and Eita has not reached that level yet.
“Ah, Okada-san,” he greeted Kazu when he walked into the office, then smiled in surprise when he saw Ryo walk in as well.
“This is a pleasant surprise,” Eita commented, “It’s rare seeing the two of you showing up at the studio like this. Come on in, why don’t you have a seat. Your brother’s taken a the week off, I think he’s been a little too caught up with preparing for the exhibition…”
“That’s not it,” Kazu interrupted, “Nagayama-san, could you possibly call the rest of the employees? We need to talk to all of you… about our aniki…”
“Oh… Is something the matter?”
“Yes… Jun-ni you see, might not be coming back to the studio for a while. He’s been sick… and it’s not going to be one of those easy things.”
“What… what do you mean by that?”
“Cancer. Jun-ni has cancer.”