Cerulean Dreams
Cerulean Dreams
feat: Kuroki Meisa, Choi Dong Wook (Se7en), Toda Erika
If you wish to scale great heights than you must be fearless of the pain and the effort that must be put in to achieve it. Meisa knew that. She knew that well. But she was only human. And on days when her body screams in protest and pain at her and her heart feels heavy from the weight of non achievement, she wondered if she had chosen the right path for herself.
Sitting with her back against the wall length mirror, Meisa pressed her face in between her bent knees, forcing herself to breath in deeply and slowly, allowing her racing heart to calm down. The day’s training had been long and punishing and still, STILL Meisa knew her routine had not satisfied him, had not satisfied her trainer and choreographer.
Since being made one of the principle dancers of the Cerulean Dream dance theatre, her days had been spent on nothing but training, nothing but rehearsals. She has not yet been allowed to open a show and in fact she was still in training for her first production. The show’s choreographer, Choi Dong Wook was a slave driver and his demand for nothing less than perfection for every rehearsal was slowly chipping away at Meisa’s endurance.
Ever since she was a young girl, Meisa knew that she wanted to do nothing more with her life than to dance. Coming from a small town in Okinawa, she had sometimes doubted that she would have been able to achieve her dreams but persistence and determination had a way of rewarding itself and when she was twelve, the video application she had sent to the prestigious California school of the arts had been accepted and she had been called in to an audition.
Twelve year old Meisa had packed her things and had gone to a foreign land, without even knowing what to expect, without even knowing the language to speak. Accompanied by her equally terrified mother, the two of them had somehow managed to make it to the school and she had aced the audition. That was twelve years ago. Now at twenty four, Meisa had slowly but surely begun to carve a name for herself in the arena of contemporary dance.
She had been scouted and offered a spot as one of the principle dancer’s to the country’s biggest dance theatre last month and Meisa had jumped at the chance. Cerulean Dreams never holds audition. Never.
The only way to get in was to be scouted in.
The theatre was formed by Lee Min Woo, the son a Korean businessman back in the 90s along with his then girlfriend, now wife, Hasegawa Jun. The two of them became the most successful Asians in the business; their stage shows being an explosive combination of the new and the old - mashing dance genres such as ballet, traditional folk dancing from Asian countries along with hip-hop and contemporary moves.
She had thought it to be the dream job - but now Meisa secretly wonders if she had landed herself in hell instead. Things had indeed been hell since she met Choi Dong Wook, the obnoxious lead choreographer of the studio. A young man of about twenty seven, he had been the biggest star Cerulean had ever produced until an onstage accident had injured his knee and prevented him from performing again. He had been twenty four then, the same age Meisa was now.
The theatre had not wanted to let him go and they had offered him the position of choreographer instead and since then Dong Wook’s productions had gone on to become some of the most successful stage shows in the country. Meisa had initially been thrilled when she heard she would be working under the famous Choi Dong Wook but that was until she actually met the man in person.
Oh he was good looking alright, with his lean dancer’s built, his strong sculpted features and his alarmingly full pouty lips which always seemed as though they were begging to be kissed. But he also had the temper of a hound hell and the non existence patience of a demon. Since the first practise session they had, Meisa found that she could never satisfy him. She had never once in her life not looked forward to dance rehearsals or training but she began to dread any session with Dong Wook.
“Meisa!” his sharp voice now made her look up from her position at the corner of the dance studio, her eyes narrowing as he strode up to her, gorgeous even in a plain white T and ripped jeans, “I want to talk to you.”
“Yes sir,” she replied wearily, standing up straight and looking him in the eyes. Sloppiness was an insult to his senses.
“The second half was appalling,” he snapped before she even managed to steady herself for the barrage that she knew was to come, “Your posture gave out by the end of the first part, your footwork was not steady and don’t even let me get into the conditions of your pirouette.”
Meisa snapped.
She had had enough.
It had been a long week and every day, every DAY he criticized her loudly in front of the entire crew. Every time he did that, she had bit back her tongue, then stayed the night in the studio, practising and fixing everything he told her to fix. Only to have him scold her for something else at the next rehearsal.
“Then don’t!” she replied curtly, surprising herself at her own audacity, “Let’s NOT get into the conditions of my pirouette. How about we NOT get into anything anymore?!”
His eyes darkened, the shadow from them quickly crossing over his features as well and he tapped his foot, a sure sign of impending danger. Surprisingly Meisa found that she did not care. Once, the sound of that foot tapping was like the charging of the hounds of Hades, but now, pushed to the edge of her limit, she found that she didn’t care.
If she had looked around her, she would have been surprised to see that the studio was empty. The dance crew had all quietly sneaked out when Meisa snapped back at Dong Wook. Juicy a fight as this might be, none of them wanted to be in the line of fire, and none of them wanted to be the victim of Dong Wook’s infamous temper.
“Kuroki Meisa…” he spoke up but Meisa did not give him a chance.
“I’ll make your life easier for you Choi Dong Wook-san,” she sighed, picking up her bag and slinging it over her shoulder, “I quit. Thank you for your guidance till now, but I quit.”
And in saying that, she stormed out of the studio.
-------
“You must have been mad!” her best friend Erika shrieked over the phone at her, “You walked out on Choi Dong Wook? THE Choi Dong Wook?? You’re absolutely freaking mad!”
“No I’m not Rika,” Meisa sighed as she stretched out on her sofa, “I’m not and you don’t have to shriek at me.”
The two of them had been the best of friends since high school with Erika being a music major and herself in the dance major. Erika was currently working for the California Philharmonics orchestra and since their busy schedule had prevented them from hanging out as often as they used to they made do with spending long hours talking on the phone.
“But Meisa… you’ve always wanted to work under him!” Erika was reminding her now,
He’s the best in the industry!”
“That doesn’t take away the fact that he’s a demon sent from hell. I’ve given my best Rika, and nothing is ever good enough for him. NOTHING. If I stayed any longer in Cerulean I’m going to lose my mind.”
Erika tsked at Meisa’s words, “So what are you going to do now? Cerulean was your best bet at making it big.”
“Yes, but it’s not the only way. I’m going for some interviews and auditions this week, and we’ll see what takes off from there. If I continue working hard I’m sure things will look up. It’s better this way; I don’t know how much longer I could keep my sanity in Cerulean.”
“I see…”
The ringing of the doorbell interrupted Erika’s next words, causing Meisa to look up with an irritated sigh.
“Rika-chan, there’s someone at the door. I got to go.”
“Sure. Update me about the interviews ya?”
“Will do. Night love.”
“Good night.”
The doorbell rang again, prompting Meisa out of the sofa as she hung up the phone.
“I’m coming!” she called out, crossing the expanse of the studio apartment to answer its persistent call. The person standing on the other side made her gasp and instinct kicked in making her move to close the door. Dong Wook’s hand shot out, catching the door and pushing it open before she could succeed in her mission.
Meisa gulped, taking a step back as he stood in the middle of the corridor, studying her coolly. It was exasperating that she also noticed how good he looked in the deep blue shirt and black pants. The beret pulled low over his forehead framed his features, setting off the depth of his hazel eyes.
“What do you want?” she asked him when she finally found her voice, “I thought I made it clear I was leaving Cerulean.”
“I don’t remember agreeing.”
“I don’t remember asking for your agreement.”
He pursed those lips, sending a frisson of unexplained sensation down the back of her neck but Meisa resolutely ignored it. They glared at one another, the air in the apartment crackling with the intensity. Finally, to Meisa’s surprise, it was Dong Wook who backed down.
“Meisa,” he spoke up, “Let’s talk. Like adults okay?”
Hah, as though you ever acted like one!
She didn’t say that though, however tempting it was, but nodded and stepped back, allowing him access into her apartment. He walked in, looking around the place curiously before making a decision and sitting down at her dining table, one eyebrow arching up as though daring her to challenge his choice.
Meisa didn’t comment, turning towards the kitchen and taking her time in making a pot of herbal tea which she brought to the table and placed in front of him, pouring him a cup then sitting down on the chair across from the one he had chosen.
“So?” she asked him, “Talk.”
“Why did you give up?”
“Excuse me?” Meisa laughed, “Give up? I don’t remember doing that.”
“You walked out on us.”
“I walked out on you,” she said pointedly, “I’m tired of being your whacking pole Dong Wook-san. Nothing I do is ever enough for you. I’m sorry but I am not a machine that you can push and prod at your own will.”
“I was only trying to get the best out of you!”
“The best!” Meisa exclaimed, standing up now, “All you do is put me down. I have worked my ass off for you and you know it! Every night, every single night I stay back and perfect my moves for you. Yet nothing satisfies you. Why are you this hard with me? None of the other dancers seem to evoke the same kind of bad vibes you have for me. Admit it why don’t you?!”
“Meisa…”
“No,” she responded, shaking her head, “I have my dignity too Dong Wook. I’m sorry but I can’t work with you anymore. Call me a quitter if you want to, but I can not go back there to have you treat me like I’m less than human. You’re a monster!”
He paused, pushing the tea cup aside and studying her under hooded eyes. Meisa looked away, desperately trying to push that unknown sensation prickling on her skin. He stood up, walked towards her and slipped a finger under her chin, lifting her face so that he could study it better.
“Is that what you think of me?” he asked her, his voice low.
“I don’t know what I think of you,” she replied, voice shaky, limbs trembling. She wished he didn’t affect her this way, “I only know I am at my end of the tether with you Dong Wook-san. Any more and I will come to hate dancing because of you. I can not do that. I will not do that.”
“Ah, so you quit because you’re worried about me making you hate dancing. Yet, if you are not the best dancer that you can be, how can you claim to love dancing enough?”
“I…”
Her voice faltered. The warmth of his touch, the surety in his voice had fazed her.
“When I first saw you dance at that no name showcase, I thought - here is a girl who can reach the very pinnacle of the industry if only she had the right people to help her. And I talked Mr. Lee Minwoo into scouting you and giving you a position as one of the principles - a position that would normally take other dancers years to achieve. I talked him into letting me cast you as the lead for my new production and I will not stand aside until you are the star you are meant to be.”
Meisa blinked, unable to tear her gaze away from his, the intensity in the look had turned all her limbs against her.
“I push you because I believe you have what it takes to be the best Meisa,” he told her, “Don’t make me regret that decision.”
“That’s the only reason?” she challenged him. He would have it too easy if she gave in and returned to Cerulean just because he was the one who scouted her.
“That’s the only reason you behave like a nasty son of a bitch around me? Your other protégés don’t get it half as bad as I do.”
“You’re right,” he admitted, “I also behave like a nasty son of a bitch around you because every time I look at you, it takes all my will power not to grab you and kiss you senseless. You drive me bloody crazy Kuroki Meisa, don’t tell me you haven’t figured that out by now?”
“I guess not…” she responded as he bent his head to plunder her mouth like a pirate at a treasure chest. The kiss was mind blowing - sweet and hot all at the same time. She moaned, despite herself, finding her arms had moved by their own violation to twine themselves around his neck, pulling him closer. Their bodies fitted together easily, his hands exploring her slender curves as their lips sought each others out hungrily.
The dance had always been a part of her life but no dance was as timeless as the one Dong Wook led her into now. The bed in the corner creaked slightly in protest as they both landed heavily on it, kisses not breaking. She pushed the beret off his head, tangling her finger in the silken strands of his hair. He tasted of peppermint and herbal tea, the scent of his cologne mingling in her senses.
“Meisa?” he asked her, his voice cracking, “I can’t… I … I don’t know if I can stop…”
“Then don’t.”
It was all the invitation he needed. His fingers, his lips, his tongue - they burned themselves on her, bringing her body to life in ways she had not thought to be possible. Choi Dong Wook as a lover was no different from the choreographer. He was demanding and nothing short of a perfectionist but he gave back just as much as he took and when she finally descended from the starry heavens he had sent her to, Meisa found herself wondering at the marvel of it.
Somehow she had completely forgotten about what had irked her so much about him.
“Will you come for practise tomorrow?”
“I should go back to Cerulean just because you got into my pants tonight?” she teased him.
“That,” he nodded, grinning back at her, “And because you know you won’t find a better choreographer than me.”
“You’re full of yourself, you know that?”
“I’m honest,” he responded, “And if you are honest with yourself as well, you’ll know that what I’m saying is true. All the hard work you’ve put into your dance has made you so much better than before - and you can, you will, be so much better than you are now if you continue.”
She kissed him gently on the mouth, one slow lingering kiss and nodded, “I’ll come back. But only if you promise to continue being my choreographer.”
“What makes you think I ever intended for that to change?”
-------
Since her storm out session had been done in private, none of the other dancers found anything amiss with her appearing back at the studio the next morning. The smile on her face though got them whispering because for the last week she had been wearing a frown deep enough to curdle milk.
Dong Wook shot her a glance as she begun doing her stretches but said nothing to her throughout the rehearsal. Only later in the evening once all the others were gone did he corner her in the dressing room, trapping her against his tall frame and the lockers as he kissed her, long and deep. She sighed, allowing herself to melt into his arms. It was good, this, the feeling of being overwhelmed by him and his presence.
“The show’s in two weeks,” he told her, “Think you’re ready?”
“What do you think Mr. Choreographer sir?”
“I think your pirouette has definitely improved, as has your posture in the second half.”
“I would think so. I spent the entire night going through the routine.”
“Good, I doubt I have any more complains about your routine. Yesterday’s was the last one.”
“I’m surprised,” she grinned in return, “I thought you would never run out of complains.”
“Give me another day or two,” he told her solemnly, “I’ll find something to complain about.”
She laughed, burying her face at the crook of his neck, savouring his warmth, “Well don’t think too hard on it. I’m still recovering from the last barraging you gave me.”
Dong Wook chuckled, placing one hand on her head, stroking her tresses, “I’m hurt. Do you think I find entertainment in criticizing you?”
“You make it seem like you do.”
“Well I don’t,” Dong Wook pouted, “The only entertainment I need right now is this one.”
He pressed closer to her and Meisa giggled. His voice dropped an octave as he pressed a kiss against the lobe of her ear, “Do you have any suggestions on how we should deal with it?”
“Em,” she responded, wiggling her hips, pressing up to him in return, “I have a few.”
“You know…” he told, his voice husky, “I’ve always had this reoccurring dream of taking you on the steel bar in the studio, your fingers digging into my back, your legs around me as you scream the place down.”
“Oh have you?”
“Yes,” he responded, matching her conspiratorial grin, scooping her off the ground as she wrapped her long legs around his hips. Eyes locked with one another’s they made it into the studio where he pressed her against the steel hand bar fastened to the wall length mirror and proceeded to show her exactly what his dream had been about.
Practise continued for the next two weeks and Dong Wook was right, he had nothing more to complain about her routine. Meisa poured her heart and soul into the piece, dancing each day as though it was her last. She understood now what he meant about pushing her to her limit for every single day - because every single day she found out that she could push that limit further.
Opening night was a raving success. She went from being a small time dancer to a household name overnight. The look in his eyes after that successful opening night made all that hard work worth it. It made all those times he had driven her to the edge worth it. It made her entire lifetime worth it.
That night as she lay in his arms, Meisa sighed contently, snuggling as close as she could.
“Meisa…” he spoke up, “The road is going to be longer… harder from now… and I can’t promise I won’t be a bastard about it along the way.”
Dong Wook stopped, looking at her expectant face, “But I… I think I love you…”
She closed her eyes, savouring the words. They seemed so right and as she opened her eyes again to look at him she knew what to say in return.
“I love you too Dong Wook… and I trust you. I know it’s going to be hard, but so long as you’re there to guide me I know it’s going to be okay.”