(no subject)
hey everyone.
Well, I see that livejournal changed it's rich text thingy up here so it actually works now and I don't always have to refresh this fucking page.
I'm massively sick at the moment, not that any of you give a flying fuck. Well anyway, I seem pretty fucking hostile. I just used fuck in every sentence I've wrote-3. Now 4 actually. I haven't really been up to anything lately except the play and schoolwork. Dan and Mike came down on Friday/ Saturday. I spent a lot of Saturday with them, mostly recording songs for their Rent auditions or whatnot, but then after they saw wicked they came back to 1) knock on my window because I was asleep and scare the shit out of me. and 2) watch a movie. We ended up watching Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. Pretty good film. Hilarious actually. We had fun. But then the fun ended and they left. Blah blah blah. Then Sunday came. Rehersal. Then Monday. Very bad day. But whatever. And today's Tuesday. Not toooooo bad a day. I'm sorry for bitching a kid out today in class, and although I know he doesn't read LJ because he doesn't have one, I am very sorry. I was just, reacting to the incident. But I've gotten over it. No biggie.
My days seem pretty much all the same these days. Wake up late, get ready for school, look like shit, walk through the school day like a zombie except when I'm with Alexis (YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS napolean dynamite style) ((lol)). Rehersal for hours on end, go home, do my homework, shower, layze around listening to EMO music, and then finally with no avail, fall asleep.
Can you spell B-O-R-I-N-G?
Plus, I hate Valentine's Day. I mean, not always. I used to love it in elemntary school when everyone gave everyone a valentine, and you spent DAYS trying to get them all ready and meaningful for everyone. Now, it's a boyfriend girlfriend thing. Let everyone left out of that scenario just sit around and glare while you've got the love of your life kissing you and it's cold and stuff...... okay now I'm dreaming, but still. It seems that what was all so innocent and cute, loving and sweet, has turned into a competition. A love competition. Who has a boyfriend and who doesn't seperates the cool from the losers. I mean, what kind of world are we living in? Is having someone in your life so damn important? I know it is, I don't even need to know the answer to that question. When you have someone in your life, your life lights up. All of a sudden, days are better, you smile more, and all of a sudden it's like you have a reason to get up and fuckin go to school. Never mind that shit "you give me a reason to wake up in the morning". Its a reason to come just to see that person. Not only is it that everyone at my school is "unattainable" in a way. You know, don't like them, girlfriends, don't like me, don't Know me, lol. etc etc. And they're all recycled. No matter who you "chose", someone got there first. It doesn't feel so much like that when the other person REALLY loves you back. Not obsessively or possesively, just loves you.
Too often we all sit around and say, "I want that." Be it a boyfriend, a purse, a movie, a girlfriend.....etc etc. Why don't we become assertive and say what we want? I don't know. I do it too. Why can't I just say what I want. 2 people in the whole world know what I want. Not want, but what I wish I had. Dan and Alexis. But really, why can't we just tell the person we love them? Why can't we just tell someone to buzz off? Why can't we just not read contemptious emails or notes? We go out to hurt ourselves and then complain when we do. It's gay.
Or as Alexis and I put it, it's fig.
figilicious.
But anywayz. I wish I could assert myself. But I get so influenced. Everything around me influences me, no matter how small.
I wish a lot of things, but normally, for me.....
Nothing comes true.
And that sounds exactly like I'm feeling sorry for myself.
And I am. Because everyone can once in a while. And everyone does.
Love Always,
Margueritte
Well, I see that livejournal changed it's rich text thingy up here so it actually works now and I don't always have to refresh this fucking page.
I'm massively sick at the moment, not that any of you give a flying fuck. Well anyway, I seem pretty fucking hostile. I just used fuck in every sentence I've wrote-3. Now 4 actually. I haven't really been up to anything lately except the play and schoolwork. Dan and Mike came down on Friday/ Saturday. I spent a lot of Saturday with them, mostly recording songs for their Rent auditions or whatnot, but then after they saw wicked they came back to 1) knock on my window because I was asleep and scare the shit out of me. and 2) watch a movie. We ended up watching Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. Pretty good film. Hilarious actually. We had fun. But then the fun ended and they left. Blah blah blah. Then Sunday came. Rehersal. Then Monday. Very bad day. But whatever. And today's Tuesday. Not toooooo bad a day. I'm sorry for bitching a kid out today in class, and although I know he doesn't read LJ because he doesn't have one, I am very sorry. I was just, reacting to the incident. But I've gotten over it. No biggie.
My days seem pretty much all the same these days. Wake up late, get ready for school, look like shit, walk through the school day like a zombie except when I'm with Alexis (YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS napolean dynamite style) ((lol)). Rehersal for hours on end, go home, do my homework, shower, layze around listening to EMO music, and then finally with no avail, fall asleep.
Can you spell B-O-R-I-N-G?
Plus, I hate Valentine's Day. I mean, not always. I used to love it in elemntary school when everyone gave everyone a valentine, and you spent DAYS trying to get them all ready and meaningful for everyone. Now, it's a boyfriend girlfriend thing. Let everyone left out of that scenario just sit around and glare while you've got the love of your life kissing you and it's cold and stuff...... okay now I'm dreaming, but still. It seems that what was all so innocent and cute, loving and sweet, has turned into a competition. A love competition. Who has a boyfriend and who doesn't seperates the cool from the losers. I mean, what kind of world are we living in? Is having someone in your life so damn important? I know it is, I don't even need to know the answer to that question. When you have someone in your life, your life lights up. All of a sudden, days are better, you smile more, and all of a sudden it's like you have a reason to get up and fuckin go to school. Never mind that shit "you give me a reason to wake up in the morning". Its a reason to come just to see that person. Not only is it that everyone at my school is "unattainable" in a way. You know, don't like them, girlfriends, don't like me, don't Know me, lol. etc etc. And they're all recycled. No matter who you "chose", someone got there first. It doesn't feel so much like that when the other person REALLY loves you back. Not obsessively or possesively, just loves you.
Too often we all sit around and say, "I want that." Be it a boyfriend, a purse, a movie, a girlfriend.....etc etc. Why don't we become assertive and say what we want? I don't know. I do it too. Why can't I just say what I want. 2 people in the whole world know what I want. Not want, but what I wish I had. Dan and Alexis. But really, why can't we just tell the person we love them? Why can't we just tell someone to buzz off? Why can't we just not read contemptious emails or notes? We go out to hurt ourselves and then complain when we do. It's gay.
Or as Alexis and I put it, it's fig.
figilicious.
But anywayz. I wish I could assert myself. But I get so influenced. Everything around me influences me, no matter how small.
I wish a lot of things, but normally, for me.....
Nothing comes true.
And that sounds exactly like I'm feeling sorry for myself.
And I am. Because everyone can once in a while. And everyone does.
Love Always,
Margueritte