(no subject)
The past twenty-four hours have been so damn liberating...
Last night I called everyone who I have wanted to call, but haven’t for whatever reason. I got insight into the world of Carlos..
But today, today was key. It was such a horrible, horribly exasperating day. Things just weren't doing well. I spent most of the day stressing over whether or not I was going to be eligible. Skipping the boring details of the stress... I get to seventh period and Deason and Medina are waiting for me by the door. They are there to inform me that I am not elligable and I need to turn in my "Our Town" script and sit down. Then Medina proceeded to lecture us and give me a ridiculous guilt trip. The thing is, that I tried.
My situation is that I was in PAP physics, when I felt there was no hope of me passing, I switched to regular physics. The time I did this, just so happened to be about one day before the end of the six weeks. Due to some confusion on a couple of test grades, one which I made up today, I went from a 63 to a 58. My counselor(who kicks ass btw) is working to get me a waiver which would be deserved because all of my grades are still from a PAP class. They will tell me the final on everything tomorrow.
I have never been ineligible for anything in my life. This has never even been an issue. In fact, I have always been the one who would be skipped when grade checking time came around, because my grades where always so on-top that it was pointless to check. Being ineligible, not being able to be in play, not being able to compete at one tournament... I could deal with that...but the look on Medina's face.. and his voice. It was total disappointment. I later found out that he had written on the board "I love the debate team, but not so much the interps... except Jeni." How incredible is that? I also found out that after Deason spoke to him, he went back and erased this to make a list of failures. I was second on this list...
After the Medina guilt lecture, and the Deason yelling, and the disappointment of lost hope, I think I just decided that things couldn’t get much worse. So, Zeke and I went to the mall. I just felt so free. If everything is already ruined, I have no more to stress about. This is my low; things can only get better from here. I cracked jokes and laughed the whole ride over. On the way, we made a stop to visit my Brandon, who always has an ability to make me feel meaningful and alive.
Then I shopped
and I danced
and I put on Zeke's scarf
and I threw my arms up
and I twirled
and I sang
and I laughed
because right now, I just feel so...
beautifully crazy
Last night I called everyone who I have wanted to call, but haven’t for whatever reason. I got insight into the world of Carlos..
But today, today was key. It was such a horrible, horribly exasperating day. Things just weren't doing well. I spent most of the day stressing over whether or not I was going to be eligible. Skipping the boring details of the stress... I get to seventh period and Deason and Medina are waiting for me by the door. They are there to inform me that I am not elligable and I need to turn in my "Our Town" script and sit down. Then Medina proceeded to lecture us and give me a ridiculous guilt trip. The thing is, that I tried.
My situation is that I was in PAP physics, when I felt there was no hope of me passing, I switched to regular physics. The time I did this, just so happened to be about one day before the end of the six weeks. Due to some confusion on a couple of test grades, one which I made up today, I went from a 63 to a 58. My counselor(who kicks ass btw) is working to get me a waiver which would be deserved because all of my grades are still from a PAP class. They will tell me the final on everything tomorrow.
I have never been ineligible for anything in my life. This has never even been an issue. In fact, I have always been the one who would be skipped when grade checking time came around, because my grades where always so on-top that it was pointless to check. Being ineligible, not being able to be in play, not being able to compete at one tournament... I could deal with that...but the look on Medina's face.. and his voice. It was total disappointment. I later found out that he had written on the board "I love the debate team, but not so much the interps... except Jeni." How incredible is that? I also found out that after Deason spoke to him, he went back and erased this to make a list of failures. I was second on this list...
After the Medina guilt lecture, and the Deason yelling, and the disappointment of lost hope, I think I just decided that things couldn’t get much worse. So, Zeke and I went to the mall. I just felt so free. If everything is already ruined, I have no more to stress about. This is my low; things can only get better from here. I cracked jokes and laughed the whole ride over. On the way, we made a stop to visit my Brandon, who always has an ability to make me feel meaningful and alive.
Then I shopped
and I danced
and I put on Zeke's scarf
and I threw my arms up
and I twirled
and I sang
and I laughed
because right now, I just feel so...
beautifully crazy