whipped puppy
xmas eve, my 1st entry
i feel like a whipped puppy. someone i love has whipped me. only psychologically, not physically, and i am bewildered. i don't know why i was whipped and am still being whipped.
2d xmas in a row he's done something like this to me. refuses to communicate. won't answer his phone. won't speed-dial my number. sparse response to email & im.
at least he acknowledged in email & im that he knows he's hurting me. and he apologized. but it would make me extremely happy to talk to him again--it's been over a week.
my chest is tight. breathing is a labor. i am silently whimpering like that lonely, whipped puppy. i am on the verge of crying but i won't. that takes more energy than i have to give it. but maybe i wish i could. i read somewhere that there is a chemical component of tears that is physiologically cathartic, and maybe that's what i need.
frosting on this cake: tomorrow's my birthday. hohoho.
on the positive side: it's sweater weather here in snowy new england. a welcome break from last week's frigidity. i saw someone pushing the reprieve in the supermarket parking lot, walking around in a tee shirt. if ever anyone was tempting fate....
i feel like a whipped puppy. someone i love has whipped me. only psychologically, not physically, and i am bewildered. i don't know why i was whipped and am still being whipped.
2d xmas in a row he's done something like this to me. refuses to communicate. won't answer his phone. won't speed-dial my number. sparse response to email & im.
at least he acknowledged in email & im that he knows he's hurting me. and he apologized. but it would make me extremely happy to talk to him again--it's been over a week.
my chest is tight. breathing is a labor. i am silently whimpering like that lonely, whipped puppy. i am on the verge of crying but i won't. that takes more energy than i have to give it. but maybe i wish i could. i read somewhere that there is a chemical component of tears that is physiologically cathartic, and maybe that's what i need.
frosting on this cake: tomorrow's my birthday. hohoho.
on the positive side: it's sweater weather here in snowy new england. a welcome break from last week's frigidity. i saw someone pushing the reprieve in the supermarket parking lot, walking around in a tee shirt. if ever anyone was tempting fate....