The End of Med - Part II
I reread my last entry and saw that I left out a VERY important part to the story, but I have to backtrack a bit. In the beginning of August, Ed and I had another marriage talk. I realized that he's never going to want to get married, and if he is, it's YEARS upon YEARS off. So I started August, before Matt came along, with that heavy on my mind.
Back to the story. So I had officially fooled around with another guy, and was the most confused person EVER. That was Saturday. I went to talk to my friend Jenn on Sunday since I HAD TO GET IT OUT! Funny thing was that as I was talking about Matt, I couldn't get this goofy grin off my face. Why wasn't I feeling incredible guilt?? Jenn said that maybe I was with Ed because it was more habit than anything. It certainly gave me something to think about.
Matt texted me on Monday saying that he wanted to see me. I really did want to see him, but I didn't want to drive all the way to him (he lives almost an hour away) so we agreed to meet halfway at an Applebees. It felt awful, like I was wearing a big neon sign that said, "I'M CHEATING ON MY BOYFRIEND." We walked in and OF COURSE someone I knew was working there! He was a guy from college, someone I had a small history with, and someone in a fraternity. We got the hell outta there and went to a diner down the road. It felt so dirty, but I loved spending some time with him, and he was telling me how much he wanted to be with me. Total and utter confusion. I was starting school that week so I couldn't see him anymore, but he was going to be at his beach house on Saturday and he wanted me to go. At first, I said no way...but I caved. I couldn't stay away.
So the beach house...
He introduced me to a bunch of his friends, who are pretty cool, then took me out to dinner. We actually went on a DATE. But at dinner, I talked to him about everything. I needed to cut him off for a little bit. I told him that I needed to figure out what was going on with Ed without him as a distraction. He knew it was coming (I had hinted at it during the week), but he hated it so much. But he said that if that's what it takes for us to be together, he'll smile his way through it. After dinner, we went onto the beach. Full moon and all...and people started setting off fireworks. We went for a moonlit stroll on the beach, hand in hand. It was the most romantic night of my life. We made out on the beach (and got eaten up by bugs!) and looked up at the stars. Straight out of a movie again! We went back to the beach house and drank a few beers with his friends. Then we moved into the bedroom...
I left the next day, knowing I was cutting him off for awhile...except it was a bad week for that. Tuesday was his first day of school (he's a replacement art teacher at a middle school, so not only do we have the replacement thing in common, we have being teachers in common....and Ed and I have NOTHING in common). Thursday was his birthday. I couldn't NOT text him on those days, but he was off limits besides that.
But I got home on Sunday and found Ed sleeping. He was supposed to be at work! I asked him what he was doing, and he said he, "just needed a day off." Um...he did the pig roast the day before, and he had the next day (Labor Day) off. So he couldn't pay rent for the month (I covered for him) yet he was taking days off. He got pissed that I brought it up a couple of times and went to his friend's house. Wow. I had Matt on the brain and I was finally coming out of denial about my future with Ed.
Part III coming soon...
Back to the story. So I had officially fooled around with another guy, and was the most confused person EVER. That was Saturday. I went to talk to my friend Jenn on Sunday since I HAD TO GET IT OUT! Funny thing was that as I was talking about Matt, I couldn't get this goofy grin off my face. Why wasn't I feeling incredible guilt?? Jenn said that maybe I was with Ed because it was more habit than anything. It certainly gave me something to think about.
Matt texted me on Monday saying that he wanted to see me. I really did want to see him, but I didn't want to drive all the way to him (he lives almost an hour away) so we agreed to meet halfway at an Applebees. It felt awful, like I was wearing a big neon sign that said, "I'M CHEATING ON MY BOYFRIEND." We walked in and OF COURSE someone I knew was working there! He was a guy from college, someone I had a small history with, and someone in a fraternity. We got the hell outta there and went to a diner down the road. It felt so dirty, but I loved spending some time with him, and he was telling me how much he wanted to be with me. Total and utter confusion. I was starting school that week so I couldn't see him anymore, but he was going to be at his beach house on Saturday and he wanted me to go. At first, I said no way...but I caved. I couldn't stay away.
So the beach house...
He introduced me to a bunch of his friends, who are pretty cool, then took me out to dinner. We actually went on a DATE. But at dinner, I talked to him about everything. I needed to cut him off for a little bit. I told him that I needed to figure out what was going on with Ed without him as a distraction. He knew it was coming (I had hinted at it during the week), but he hated it so much. But he said that if that's what it takes for us to be together, he'll smile his way through it. After dinner, we went onto the beach. Full moon and all...and people started setting off fireworks. We went for a moonlit stroll on the beach, hand in hand. It was the most romantic night of my life. We made out on the beach (and got eaten up by bugs!) and looked up at the stars. Straight out of a movie again! We went back to the beach house and drank a few beers with his friends. Then we moved into the bedroom...
I left the next day, knowing I was cutting him off for awhile...except it was a bad week for that. Tuesday was his first day of school (he's a replacement art teacher at a middle school, so not only do we have the replacement thing in common, we have being teachers in common....and Ed and I have NOTHING in common). Thursday was his birthday. I couldn't NOT text him on those days, but he was off limits besides that.
But I got home on Sunday and found Ed sleeping. He was supposed to be at work! I asked him what he was doing, and he said he, "just needed a day off." Um...he did the pig roast the day before, and he had the next day (Labor Day) off. So he couldn't pay rent for the month (I covered for him) yet he was taking days off. He got pissed that I brought it up a couple of times and went to his friend's house. Wow. I had Matt on the brain and I was finally coming out of denial about my future with Ed.
Part III coming soon...