Tiptoe through our shiny city / With our diamond slippers on
The universe clearly wants me to believe in bizarre, esoteric things. I have received countless scoffs (you know who you are) regarding my very strong belief in the power of Mercury in retrograde. As I mentioned, Sunday was the planet's (my ruling planet, for the record) first day back to normal. My last post detailed how I spent much of the day, so I won't rehash it, but I wrote before the rebirth I was ready for had happened.
Things are again beautiful at home. Everything is not perfect, as it never is, but I could almost cry for joy thinking about the 180 my life has taken.
I'm a very lucky woman. I have amazing people in my life, and while I know building good relationships is more about skill than good fortune, I can't help but recognize the luck I have, too. My friends are the opposite of fair-weather: they are there when I absolutely need them, even if we rarely connect on a regular basis. They showered me with sympathy and advice, none of which I took, but all of which I appreciated.
I spent the past week in tears over what I thought I had lost, and truly it scared me. How could ending a relationship I'd maintained only a quarter of a year destroy me like it did? I guess the simple truth is that I'm in love. I didn't think it was possible to fall quite so mightily for someone so soon after the end of my last relationship, the one I was sure would last forever. But I did. Boy, did I. Thinking of my life without him wrecked me. It affected every facet of my being, penetrated deep into my soul and psyche, and just wouldn't let me recover.
Then everything changed, and we realized what we almost set free. I think it was my final gathering of strength and resolve to move forward that gave us the ability to fix things. Obviously, putting things back together isn't instantaneous, but my heart is dancing with joy today. After barely seeing each other for more than a week, we spent all of yesterday together. (Yes, I played hookey from work on a Tuesday. Call it a mental health day.) It was beautiful, magical, and exactly what we both needed. We did frivolous things: breakfast out at 10 a.m., pots of tea in the afternoon, games of chess and checkers, a trip to an artisan chocolate store, poking around downtown, and a late afternoon nap. It was glorious. I never, ever wanted it to end.
But it did, of course. Today, we both awoke as happy as the day before had made us. I'm back at the office, and he's returned to his normal routine, but the whole world has a new tint. My heart is again filled with hope. I know not every day will feel this amazing, but I am embracing it with all the strength my small arms can muster. I'm in love with him, and I'm in love with being in love.
And I have to say, smelling like him makes every day 100 times better. Let the clouds roll in, and let real life roll on. Just envelop me in his aroma.
Things are again beautiful at home. Everything is not perfect, as it never is, but I could almost cry for joy thinking about the 180 my life has taken.
I'm a very lucky woman. I have amazing people in my life, and while I know building good relationships is more about skill than good fortune, I can't help but recognize the luck I have, too. My friends are the opposite of fair-weather: they are there when I absolutely need them, even if we rarely connect on a regular basis. They showered me with sympathy and advice, none of which I took, but all of which I appreciated.
I spent the past week in tears over what I thought I had lost, and truly it scared me. How could ending a relationship I'd maintained only a quarter of a year destroy me like it did? I guess the simple truth is that I'm in love. I didn't think it was possible to fall quite so mightily for someone so soon after the end of my last relationship, the one I was sure would last forever. But I did. Boy, did I. Thinking of my life without him wrecked me. It affected every facet of my being, penetrated deep into my soul and psyche, and just wouldn't let me recover.
Then everything changed, and we realized what we almost set free. I think it was my final gathering of strength and resolve to move forward that gave us the ability to fix things. Obviously, putting things back together isn't instantaneous, but my heart is dancing with joy today. After barely seeing each other for more than a week, we spent all of yesterday together. (Yes, I played hookey from work on a Tuesday. Call it a mental health day.) It was beautiful, magical, and exactly what we both needed. We did frivolous things: breakfast out at 10 a.m., pots of tea in the afternoon, games of chess and checkers, a trip to an artisan chocolate store, poking around downtown, and a late afternoon nap. It was glorious. I never, ever wanted it to end.
But it did, of course. Today, we both awoke as happy as the day before had made us. I'm back at the office, and he's returned to his normal routine, but the whole world has a new tint. My heart is again filled with hope. I know not every day will feel this amazing, but I am embracing it with all the strength my small arms can muster. I'm in love with him, and I'm in love with being in love.
And I have to say, smelling like him makes every day 100 times better. Let the clouds roll in, and let real life roll on. Just envelop me in his aroma.