in disguise
i was lieing in my bed tonight and i was praying to god when something flashed across my mind that i never noticed before. and i just now see what is happening. we wont use names just for the sake of whatever. no feelings should be hurt. now NONE of this below is my opinion. so let it be known that this is mearly fact. not how i feel or how i think something should happen or whatever while writing this i made sure i put none of my opinion into this...this friend i kno has changed a bunch. and she doesn't even kno it. i wish she did so she could work on changing back, but she is blinded by something else. blinded by the unexpected. something she would never expect is covering up the fact that she has changed and is still changing DRAMATICALLY. if she only knew...I wish i could help but in this case helping will seem like im intentionally trying to hurt. it's pretty complicated. i wish i could help but saying the wrong thing(while trying to help) will seem like i'm jealous in which im not. but damnit man she is being hurt by something i wouldn't expect and something she would NEVER expect. and it hurts me to see it and be unable to say a damn thing. i can't drop hints, i can't flat out say, i can't do a damn thing which isn't doin a damn bit of good. i know. it sucks. but see this happened once before...not her changing, but her never expecting. i can only pray she sees it. god told me. if i could only tell her...