(no subject)
Someone once told me to never give up on the things that make me smile. My response then was that I don't, they give up on me. Sadly, that still seems to hold true today.
Anyone that knows me well enough knows that this past year has been full of a lot of hardships for me. And I've spent a lot of that time trying to recover from it all. No matter what I do it seems that whenever I make some headway, I just seem to end up where I started. Take the current job prospect I have... I've been interviewing for a job at a local tax administrator since November, only to find out that they aren't able to hire me. Sounds like the job I had for manager of PJ's, just another dead end. So alas, I get to spend even more time as a fucking dishwasher because it's the only job where somebody hired me.
I have nothing to hope for in my life anymore. Nothing to drive me. There's just nothing. I have nothing to look forward to when I come home from a job I hate, because there's nothing here. Yet, I have no reason to be anywhere else either. I barely have any possesions of my own. Those that are mine are of little value to me whatsoever. I could be just the same without them.
So who am I? No one. There's nothing to define me, nothing to drive me. Why am I even here? Some will say that there's a plan for all of us... well what's mine? Did I really throw my life away, or is it so far from me now that I can't even see it?
Anyone that knows me well enough knows that this past year has been full of a lot of hardships for me. And I've spent a lot of that time trying to recover from it all. No matter what I do it seems that whenever I make some headway, I just seem to end up where I started. Take the current job prospect I have... I've been interviewing for a job at a local tax administrator since November, only to find out that they aren't able to hire me. Sounds like the job I had for manager of PJ's, just another dead end. So alas, I get to spend even more time as a fucking dishwasher because it's the only job where somebody hired me.
I have nothing to hope for in my life anymore. Nothing to drive me. There's just nothing. I have nothing to look forward to when I come home from a job I hate, because there's nothing here. Yet, I have no reason to be anywhere else either. I barely have any possesions of my own. Those that are mine are of little value to me whatsoever. I could be just the same without them.
So who am I? No one. There's nothing to define me, nothing to drive me. Why am I even here? Some will say that there's a plan for all of us... well what's mine? Did I really throw my life away, or is it so far from me now that I can't even see it?