Coming Down Hard
Here I sit again at the keyboard, miserably depressed and hanging on by a thin thread. I went to bed a little early (around 3:30 am) and woke up around 7am. I decided while it was quiet and the other roomies were asleep to do a load of laundry. As I started my load I began looking in the rafters for a good hanging spot. Though I won't actually commit suicide at the moment, it is good to know there is a few areas available if I need to use them.
Friends were over early yet I sit here in my "Fortress of Solutude" wanting nothing to do with anyone. I am becoming more anti-social than I have been in a few years. I know I am relapsing into a major depression. It will only get worse before it gets better. If I seem sullen, quiet, and withdrawn, or seem to not be all there, its just a part of the bipolar disorder kicking in.
My mind has been racing with thoughts of what happens next...where do I go from here? what does the future hold? will the move go smoothly? What will become of the roomies once I get the eviction notice as well as thoughts of suicide and other various forms of mutilation and death. I feel the need to be alone and anti-socal...it burns within my blood.
Friends were over early yet I sit here in my "Fortress of Solutude" wanting nothing to do with anyone. I am becoming more anti-social than I have been in a few years. I know I am relapsing into a major depression. It will only get worse before it gets better. If I seem sullen, quiet, and withdrawn, or seem to not be all there, its just a part of the bipolar disorder kicking in.
My mind has been racing with thoughts of what happens next...where do I go from here? what does the future hold? will the move go smoothly? What will become of the roomies once I get the eviction notice as well as thoughts of suicide and other various forms of mutilation and death. I feel the need to be alone and anti-socal...it burns within my blood.