What can I say....
Although some may dispute me on this, but I figure myself a rather independent kind of person. I never really NEED anybody. Well, something happened tonight that flushed that theory down the toilet. Bravery is rarely a forte when it comes to fighting off foes whom you had once been intimate with; yet, I needed to find some. Otherwise I may have lost the man I love.
He may not realize it, but I need so very much and I love him. Fear came to me tonight as I stared down my ex-boyfriend as he battled for my affections--his tactic: manipulate my emotions and my actions with my words. My will had almost caved. He had me pinned and his face so near to mine...and then it hit me, "you know you don't want this to happen, don't succumb to him as you did in the past, you have love on your side, and you must FIGHT for it!"
It was at that moment that the tables were turned. I maneuvered my legs and struck. I'm not sure if he knew what hit him at first...as I catapulted him off of both me and the bed. Fury was in my eyes once again. I felt them turn red.
As I looked upon him with disgust, he began to realize the terror, the pain, and worst of all my power. I was no longer susceptible to his touch. A brick wall surrounded my abdomen as he tried to tickle me. I refused to let him kiss me.
Then he said it..."I could go to the bar and bring home a girl right now, but I reasoned, if I am going to cheat on Sheila, it had better be with you." I was aghast but still he persisted proclaiming, "I'm comfortable with you and I know you're safe."
Never in my life have I yearned to kick a man in the balls as much as I did in that moment. Sheila was my friend. Yet, in his twisted mind, he rationalized that cheating with me would be acceptable.
He moved closer and tried to kiss me. I resisted. In his frustration, he picked up and threw me onto his bed once again. Pressing his body to mine, he attempted sliding his hand up my shirt. ...At that point, I lost it. My mouth turned to acid as words of mal contempt spewed from my mouth for I was about to erupt.
I never knew a man who had such little respect for me that he, despite all of the second chances I allotted the man thinking he would change, ...that he would attempt to seduce me into betraying my love.
In the end, it was Dan who saved me. I told Nick that Dan was expecting me once he got off of work at 10 (this was true) and that I told Dan that I was going to visit Nick first (half truth). I was freed at last. As I left, he pawed at me spouting, "you have nothing to feel guilty about. we didn't DO anything."
I thought in response "oh I feel guilty alright. Why wasn't I a better judge of character when I met you?"
As soon as I left, I knew I didn't want to see Dan right away, but I drove to his apartment anyway. Upon arrival, Dan wasn't there so I opted for the "T-Bell" run which I stretched into a 45 minute tour of the city with Dan's roomie.
Sigh...we got back and the mere sight of Dan nearly made me cry as my heart lept for utter joy. So, I was saved. Had I not experienced this night in such a way, I would never have known that I too need someone.
He may not realize it, but I need so very much and I love him. Fear came to me tonight as I stared down my ex-boyfriend as he battled for my affections--his tactic: manipulate my emotions and my actions with my words. My will had almost caved. He had me pinned and his face so near to mine...and then it hit me, "you know you don't want this to happen, don't succumb to him as you did in the past, you have love on your side, and you must FIGHT for it!"
It was at that moment that the tables were turned. I maneuvered my legs and struck. I'm not sure if he knew what hit him at first...as I catapulted him off of both me and the bed. Fury was in my eyes once again. I felt them turn red.
As I looked upon him with disgust, he began to realize the terror, the pain, and worst of all my power. I was no longer susceptible to his touch. A brick wall surrounded my abdomen as he tried to tickle me. I refused to let him kiss me.
Then he said it..."I could go to the bar and bring home a girl right now, but I reasoned, if I am going to cheat on Sheila, it had better be with you." I was aghast but still he persisted proclaiming, "I'm comfortable with you and I know you're safe."
Never in my life have I yearned to kick a man in the balls as much as I did in that moment. Sheila was my friend. Yet, in his twisted mind, he rationalized that cheating with me would be acceptable.
He moved closer and tried to kiss me. I resisted. In his frustration, he picked up and threw me onto his bed once again. Pressing his body to mine, he attempted sliding his hand up my shirt. ...At that point, I lost it. My mouth turned to acid as words of mal contempt spewed from my mouth for I was about to erupt.
I never knew a man who had such little respect for me that he, despite all of the second chances I allotted the man thinking he would change, ...that he would attempt to seduce me into betraying my love.
In the end, it was Dan who saved me. I told Nick that Dan was expecting me once he got off of work at 10 (this was true) and that I told Dan that I was going to visit Nick first (half truth). I was freed at last. As I left, he pawed at me spouting, "you have nothing to feel guilty about. we didn't DO anything."
I thought in response "oh I feel guilty alright. Why wasn't I a better judge of character when I met you?"
As soon as I left, I knew I didn't want to see Dan right away, but I drove to his apartment anyway. Upon arrival, Dan wasn't there so I opted for the "T-Bell" run which I stretched into a 45 minute tour of the city with Dan's roomie.
Sigh...we got back and the mere sight of Dan nearly made me cry as my heart lept for utter joy. So, I was saved. Had I not experienced this night in such a way, I would never have known that I too need someone.