My Life
I will never take my life for granted. Whether it be the feeling of accomplishment after a long weekend run or the feeling of defeat after pedaling into 30mph winds on Chicago Avenue. I always want to consciously know that I am alive. It scares me that I only get one chance at life. I can't help but notice vindictive and sour attitudes of people around me. Friends have told me that I'm too nice, that there's people I should completely erase from my life because they've done me wrong. When it comes right down to it though, I'm here. I'll always be here. I'm not letting people walk all over me, I'm just living my life and if anyone wants to be a part of it, you're more than welcome. There are too many relationships ended because people were too silly to ask/search for another chance.
It doesn't help me to walk around with anger over burned bridges. So what can I do? I can remember the good in people and not dwell in the bad. I see the world through the eyes of someone who has had a close call with death (without the close call part). There is too much that I haven't done.
I love the friends and family I have more than most of them probably realize.
I find myself lately, "alone" in quotations, but so fulfilled and excited about everything. I've tried to explain the way I experience life to people and I haven't yet found someone who understands me on the level I'm talking about. At work sometimes I can't handle the talk about new diets and exercise programs that people are on. It's a constant discussion, and I mean constant in the literal dictionary-definition of the word. I need my ipod to keep me sane. One day these people will wake up at the tender age of 70 and realize that they focused all their attention on something that doesn't even come close to mattering in the scheme of life. I want to scream it at the top of my lungs. I can't stand when people tell me I'm "so good" because I went for a run or because I bike to work. I run because I love everything about it. I love that I am in shape, I love that I can run 10 miles if I feel like it. I bike because it's cheaper than paying $75 per month on taking the bus and its 45 minutes faster. I'm not "good" for doing these things, it's who I am.
I will never be the girl who shows up to work with hair perfect and makeup done. I'm going to show up dressed with my sneakers tied and my hair wet. I'm going to take off my helmet, shake my hair out and get my day started. I'm proud of who I am. I feel both lucky and extremely sad that I have the perspective on life that I do. I can't seem to make anyone see my point, and I wish I could find someone to share my thoughts and really connect with.
I want to know someone who has experienced a feeling of loving life so strong that it brought them to tears. It happens to me. It happens when I see the sun coming up off to my left on a morning run and seeing the skyline backlit with an incredible orange glow so warm and full of feeling that I have to stop and catch my breath, close my eyes, and open them again to reassure myself that I'm alive.
It doesn't help me to walk around with anger over burned bridges. So what can I do? I can remember the good in people and not dwell in the bad. I see the world through the eyes of someone who has had a close call with death (without the close call part). There is too much that I haven't done.
I love the friends and family I have more than most of them probably realize.
I find myself lately, "alone" in quotations, but so fulfilled and excited about everything. I've tried to explain the way I experience life to people and I haven't yet found someone who understands me on the level I'm talking about. At work sometimes I can't handle the talk about new diets and exercise programs that people are on. It's a constant discussion, and I mean constant in the literal dictionary-definition of the word. I need my ipod to keep me sane. One day these people will wake up at the tender age of 70 and realize that they focused all their attention on something that doesn't even come close to mattering in the scheme of life. I want to scream it at the top of my lungs. I can't stand when people tell me I'm "so good" because I went for a run or because I bike to work. I run because I love everything about it. I love that I am in shape, I love that I can run 10 miles if I feel like it. I bike because it's cheaper than paying $75 per month on taking the bus and its 45 minutes faster. I'm not "good" for doing these things, it's who I am.
I will never be the girl who shows up to work with hair perfect and makeup done. I'm going to show up dressed with my sneakers tied and my hair wet. I'm going to take off my helmet, shake my hair out and get my day started. I'm proud of who I am. I feel both lucky and extremely sad that I have the perspective on life that I do. I can't seem to make anyone see my point, and I wish I could find someone to share my thoughts and really connect with.
I want to know someone who has experienced a feeling of loving life so strong that it brought them to tears. It happens to me. It happens when I see the sun coming up off to my left on a morning run and seeing the skyline backlit with an incredible orange glow so warm and full of feeling that I have to stop and catch my breath, close my eyes, and open them again to reassure myself that I'm alive.