(no subject)
I have been exhausted lately, with shaky quaky limbs and a little bit of a penchant for crying. It is just another case of 'nothing is actually wrong, I just cant keep up with everything', and yet i do keep up with it all. Too much busy turns into crazy feelings of self loathing, but luckily I can de-tangle from it and see that everything will be ok... my biggest problem when I go through these manic/depressive whatever they ares, is being able to tell people around me and not hide it. I hate feeling like a crazy person, and i have no plans to change my level of output, all of the things i do are so important to me. But I did have a little end of the quarter/pre-tour/ too much work breakdown, and I did tell those around me, and they were there for me, and gave me so much love, and I felt so much better.
After all of that last night I got 12 hours of sleep and I feel refreshed, I feel like a smoothed out version of me that i havent seen in a few weeks, or a few months. I feel summer coming on, I am excited to turn my brain to swimming and also to writing projects that are not for school (not academic papers). Poetry, zines. I want to go to the woods.
I only have one more year of school, which I am spending abroad. So looking forward to summer tea parties and not being in school for a little while. I'm a senior now, and at least that feels like some kind of huge accomplishment.
After all of that last night I got 12 hours of sleep and I feel refreshed, I feel like a smoothed out version of me that i havent seen in a few weeks, or a few months. I feel summer coming on, I am excited to turn my brain to swimming and also to writing projects that are not for school (not academic papers). Poetry, zines. I want to go to the woods.
I only have one more year of school, which I am spending abroad. So looking forward to summer tea parties and not being in school for a little while. I'm a senior now, and at least that feels like some kind of huge accomplishment.