anylyze this
why do I feel like I'm about to binge-eat? Let me analyze myself for a moment here.
Could it possibly be because I'm exhausted from a hard days work. I'm on the brink of my period. I talked to Georgie and I was nervous so I felt especially stupid, and just ended up tattling on about this and that while he was completely unreadable and no matter what I say I will always care what people think about me, no matter what I say. Could it be because we talked about Jon and his new girlfriend? His new girlfriend who is twenty six, has bigger tits and smaller hips, long red hair and said nice things to them. Who is loving and wonderful and has a great job, an apartment and probably gives him great sex, where I was frigid mute and fat. Could it maybe be because I'm having terrifying anxiety about returning to the states. Who will I stay with? is it even worth it? what friends actually still like me? What if I become homeless? What if Charli ends up hating me? What if our "band" doesn't work out? what if my birthday is a catastrophe and I have to spend one more year crying in the bathroom of some random gas station?
Could it be because I already feel fat and I've been using this as a way to cope for the past ten years?
Could it be because I feel worthless and stupid, and my hair is snapping off again, my body is malfunctioning and I'm getting test results back on tuesday that could forever uproot my life?
I don't know. Maybe you're just hungry Thea.
I don't think so.
Could it possibly be because I'm exhausted from a hard days work. I'm on the brink of my period. I talked to Georgie and I was nervous so I felt especially stupid, and just ended up tattling on about this and that while he was completely unreadable and no matter what I say I will always care what people think about me, no matter what I say. Could it be because we talked about Jon and his new girlfriend? His new girlfriend who is twenty six, has bigger tits and smaller hips, long red hair and said nice things to them. Who is loving and wonderful and has a great job, an apartment and probably gives him great sex, where I was frigid mute and fat. Could it maybe be because I'm having terrifying anxiety about returning to the states. Who will I stay with? is it even worth it? what friends actually still like me? What if I become homeless? What if Charli ends up hating me? What if our "band" doesn't work out? what if my birthday is a catastrophe and I have to spend one more year crying in the bathroom of some random gas station?
Could it be because I already feel fat and I've been using this as a way to cope for the past ten years?
Could it be because I feel worthless and stupid, and my hair is snapping off again, my body is malfunctioning and I'm getting test results back on tuesday that could forever uproot my life?
I don't know. Maybe you're just hungry Thea.
I don't think so.