(no subject)
Shaun and I officially are licensed to wed in the State of Iowa. That's pretty cool, but it wasn't an entirely happy day because I had a minor identity crisis and emotional breakdown over changing my name.
I thought I had it all planned out. I'd just keep my name as is, tacking Shaun's surname on the end of it, so I'd have two last names. No hyphen, as I don't really care for how that looks aesthetically. But then, about an hour before we needed to leave to get our license (I'd have to make my name decision when we applied) I started worrying about how complicated that might be to change with various offices that can't deal with someone having two last names. About how people would just call me by Shaun's name anyway since as a culture we're not really used to people having two last names.
Enter crisis. I don't like any of my choices - two last names is too complicated, a hyphenated name is too long and unwieldy, I don't want to lose my maiden name, I don't want to lose my middle name by replacing it with my maiden name, and I don't want to not share Shaun's name. I really had no freaking idea what to do, short of having both of us change our names to something different (Shaun Solo has a nice ring to it). Unfortunately in this instance, Shaun was no help whatsoever. His chief concern was largely the ease of the name change process, making the logical choice be to just keep my name the same. After all, he reasoned, we'd still be just as married. True, but part of me really wanted that personal connection that sharing a name offers, not to mention it makes a lot of life situations easier. Really who wants to have to show your marriage certificate just to qualify for a couples' membership at the gym? Or to get visitation rights at the hospital?
In the end, and at the last minute, I decided that the way to get closest to what I wanted was to add my maiden name as a second middle name and take Shaun's last name as my surname. It's not exactly the same, but at least I get to keep both my maiden and middle names. I will miss being addressed by my maiden name, but I'm excited to share a name with Shaun.
The funny thing is, I didn't even really think I liked my maiden name that much until it came time to lose it. But it's been a part of me for a long time, and I'd be sad to see it go. Same with my middle name, which I've always been fond of. This way I get to keep both, at least in a small way. Most people won't ever see them, but I know they're there.
I thought I had it all planned out. I'd just keep my name as is, tacking Shaun's surname on the end of it, so I'd have two last names. No hyphen, as I don't really care for how that looks aesthetically. But then, about an hour before we needed to leave to get our license (I'd have to make my name decision when we applied) I started worrying about how complicated that might be to change with various offices that can't deal with someone having two last names. About how people would just call me by Shaun's name anyway since as a culture we're not really used to people having two last names.
Enter crisis. I don't like any of my choices - two last names is too complicated, a hyphenated name is too long and unwieldy, I don't want to lose my maiden name, I don't want to lose my middle name by replacing it with my maiden name, and I don't want to not share Shaun's name. I really had no freaking idea what to do, short of having both of us change our names to something different (Shaun Solo has a nice ring to it). Unfortunately in this instance, Shaun was no help whatsoever. His chief concern was largely the ease of the name change process, making the logical choice be to just keep my name the same. After all, he reasoned, we'd still be just as married. True, but part of me really wanted that personal connection that sharing a name offers, not to mention it makes a lot of life situations easier. Really who wants to have to show your marriage certificate just to qualify for a couples' membership at the gym? Or to get visitation rights at the hospital?
In the end, and at the last minute, I decided that the way to get closest to what I wanted was to add my maiden name as a second middle name and take Shaun's last name as my surname. It's not exactly the same, but at least I get to keep both my maiden and middle names. I will miss being addressed by my maiden name, but I'm excited to share a name with Shaun.
The funny thing is, I didn't even really think I liked my maiden name that much until it came time to lose it. But it's been a part of me for a long time, and I'd be sad to see it go. Same with my middle name, which I've always been fond of. This way I get to keep both, at least in a small way. Most people won't ever see them, but I know they're there.