(no subject)

[lilbellagirlxox]

so summer's around the corner, which hopefully turns out to be a good one, last summer was my favorite though. Hmm.. sam got her license, we've been waiting since 7th grade haha, i love them girls :o) // Carla's having a babbbbyy. which means i will be an Aunt.. ha! Sarah moved back home, *smiles* we hungout yesterday, talked for hours & it was like time never passed between us, i love her. and i did miss her, a lot. Schools shitty, as usual. junior year next year, im kinda nervous. i duno what i wanna do with my life. even though im still super young, it's scary., Todors opened back up FINALLY, &&&& im back there working again, ayayayay! it's only every sunday n the days people call in sick or w/e, but it's still good. 80$ a night, mm ya! Things have been shitty lately, because of one person. isn't it crazy how a single person can make you feel like a princess one minute and then complete shit the next? or just change your mood all around because of a couple words? I don't know why i go through this, and i'm still here. I feel like he doesn't respect me, and doesn't appreciate anything i do for him. when in all honestly, i think im a hell of a girl to put up with what i go through. Even though it is my fault, he's not forcing me to stay here you know. It's shitty, but honestly, i would rather have him in my life, whatever way possible, then not have him in there @ all. Its crazy what you'll go through for someone you care about. I wish things could be how they used to be. I wish everything could be normal, and we could laugh and play like we used to. and be silly together, i miss him calling me cute. which he doesn't call me anymore. i think sometimes he get's sick of me, and doesn't like me being there, but keeps me there just because he knows i care about him more than anyone he knows. i just dont know anymore. He means a lot to me, i just wish he knew how i felt. & i wish i could tell him, it's just hard... you don't even understand. You might think im taking this way overboard, which i dont think i am, but ohwell i had to type it in here, even though no one reads it, it just feels good to get it out.

blah; goodnight* <3 Jess